Since we’ve been talking Doritos tacos and taco Doritos on ES here this month, just want to make sure you guys didn’t miss our own Hungry Monster’s gem of a creation: Homemade Doritos Crunch Wrap. Yeah, you read that right. For people who are too lazy to even go to Taco Bell, we teach you how to make it at home. One more time…
Serves 1
These days, people are really trying to watch their carbs yet somehow snack their faces off. I”m not criticizing at all—I, too, love a crunchy, salty snack but feel pretty guilty after mowing down half a family-sized bag of Cheetos in one sitting (and yes, whatever, that”s a thing that has happened in my past, let”s not dwell on it).
I usually stick to Pirates Booty and Terra Chips (although, really, how much healthier are those? I don”t know, better than Ruffles but it”s not like you”re eating a salad, let”s be real) BUT! There”s a new kid in town, and he”s made from… egg whites?!
Are you prepared for Memorial Day? Probably not if you just said “spiral what?” I like my dogs slightly burnt, or as known in the culinary world—caramelized. I like a crispy snap when I bite into the dog. Hot dogs should never be boiled, put on rollers, or microwaved. The only way they should be cooked is on the grill and..spiral cut. You may even be able to call these gourmet at your next barbecue; all of your man friends will really take note of it. But what they WILL take note of is that every single bite of these wieners is caramelized crispy, and snappy.
Not enough for you? What if I told you that spiral cutting your frank optimizes condiment opportunity? Yes – opportunity. Sure, mustard is standard, ketchup is great, both are even better. I know you see those chopped onions, chilli, relish, maybe even baked beans—but where is the space? Well, now you have the opportunity to double your condiments—without suffering from soggy bun syndrome.
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Everyone”s favorite once-every-seventeen-years-emergence is getting set to terrorize the East Coast once again this spring, which means the foodie world is talking…what else–eating cicadas!
But just remember — we online slots were grilling these bad boys up on ES way back in 2009!
– Cicada Recipes: Bugs Are Low-Carb, Gluten-Free Food [Nat Geo]
– Cicada update: Latest coverage map and a cicada taste test [Washington Post]
– Chef Puts Cicadas on Menu (Yes, That”s a Bug in Your Soup) [Yahoo! Shine]
Where else? Porklandia. The city that brought the world the maple-bacon donut returns with its latest feat: a seriously gourmet hot dog trend. Here are five ways Portlandians are eating their wienies right now.
First up, Olympic Provisions takes your basic hot dog structure and makes it, well, beautiful. Their hand-linked Applewood and hickory smoked footlong pork frankfurter comes with artful drizzles of ketchup, dijon, onions, and house-made relish.
Fine dining Mexican restaurant Xico offers their own take on an Arizona favorite: the Sonoran hot dog: Grilled Nathan’s All Beef Frank, bacon, salsa verde, eye-of-the-goat beans, cotija, crema, and pico de gallo.
Portland Penny Diner, the new restaurant from James Beard Award winning chef Vitaly Paley offers up the Stanimal, which saves the exciting stuff for inside the wiener. A footlong hot dog is packed with oozing cheese and green chile, topped with sauerkraut and grilled onions.
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You know what they say… “April showers bring May flowers, and early March food blogging brings late March Easter Pinboards.” Okay, well maybe they only say the first half of that, but the latter half is definitely true, so let’s just roll with it. These days, you can’t even have a third-tier holiday like Arbor Day without a million Pinterest boards popping up, so you can only imagine how big of a deal such a high-profile holiday like Easter is. Clearly we had to get our Peep-loving selves in on the action as well.
Presenting… the Top 5 Trendiest Easter Recipes on Pinterest.
5. Cadbury Creme Egg Milkshake from Chocolate Moosey
Milk chocolate eggs stuffed with frosting are amazing enough as it is, but incorporate them into a chocolate ice cream milkshake – complete with homemade fondant! – and you’ve got a real winner.
4. Easter Peanut Butter Buttons from The Curvy Carrot
Probably one of the easiest things ever. Peanut butter filled pretzels are a classic, and so are white chocolate covered pretzels. Adhere a Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg to a pretzel with melted white chocolate, and you’re in Easter snack heaven.
While most of you are focused on candy and flowers and all that shit this week, I want to make sure you know about the existence of a much more important gift-giving development: Thanks, Bro—a thank you basket service just for, well…bros.
As gender non-normative as we like to be here at ES, let’s face it: you just can’t send a guy friend a fruit basket. (Aside: this is not true. If anyone wants to send me a fruit basket, I’ll gladly accept. But still.) Enter: Thanks, Bro. The New York-based service, which just went nationwide, allows you to send a thank you gift to a friend consisting of just two things: beer and beef jerky. Your bro gets to pick out what kind of thank-you beer he wants, and with the jerky you can either go the high-quality route, sending SlantShack’s Wild Rubdown Jerky, a grassfed North Dakota beef option encased in cayenne and brown sugar, which really brings out the delicate earthy tones of the—DAMNIT I couldn’t stay bro-y even for a minute!—or you can go with the “Fuck You, Bro” package, opting to send a single Slim Jim and s six-pack.