Red Meat - - Page 8

by Katt Kasper

I Shot a Vegetarian

Hey, c’mon. It was ONE vegetarian. It’s not like I clubbed a baby seal or anything. Geesh. And HE started it. And anyway, what’s a non-meat eating, hemp-wearing, bearded, nature dork doing participating in paintball anyway? And why would he challenge a proud carnivore? What was he thinking? And believe me; I took no pleasure in it. Really. No, REALLY……Ha! Who am I kidding? I dug the hell out of it!

So here’s what happened…some buddies asked me if I wanted to do a little paintball combat and I reluctantly agreed because these three numbskulls have a history of consuming way too much alcohol, and then wind up getting me seriously injured during the process. My previous participation with them has resulted in broken ribs, a snapped ACL, and waking up completely naked duct-taped to a tree. Why would I want to risk that again?… ‘cause those were the best times of my life! And what’s the sense of having medical insurance if you don’t take advantage of it once in a while?

We show up at this massive outdoor paintball park (late as usual), and we’re told that we can’t get out onto the field for a while because it’s so crowded. We figured that this might happen, so on the way we stopped off and got a sack full of burgers to eat while we wait. Plus we replaced our drinks with bourbon prior to coming in so we didn’t mind partaking in a little lunch before engaging in warfare. We go sit down in a crowd of guys waiting to get in and just as I take the first big bite of my burger I hear someone behind me say, “That’s disgusting!” I turn around and I’m staring at a skinny version of Zach Galifianakis who is looking back at me and sadly shaking his head. I give him a nod, squint my eyes and use my best Deniro; “You talkin’ to me?”

by snebbu

Movember Eating: Top 10 “Manly Mo Foods”

Happy Movember! Don’t get me wrong—I’m excited for Thanksgiving, but this is important too. The Movember campaign raises awareness of men’s health issues (particularly prostate cancer and testicular cancer). Ladies have pink—us men have something a bit more permanent and…natural. That’s right, a mustache. Hopefully you’re noticing more men fashioning a stash recently; raising awareness and “changing the face of men’s health.” So next time you see someone with one, please say “Happy Movember.” In honor of Movember and supporting the cause to raise awareness of men’s health issues, I bring you the top ten manly “mo foods” to feed men or to enjoy with men. Onward…

10. Deep Fried…Anything?

Really—what isn’t good deep fried? Pickles, Twinkies, hostess cupcakes (so sad, I know), snickers bars, even butter. I really don’t think there is much that is not better when battered and fried. Men enjoy fried foods—we all do. But more than that, odds are you are eating it on a stick and getting messy.

(Photo: BS)

9, Meatloaf

Elf has his main food groups, while us men typically enjoy our own three: meat, beef, and beer. Don’t ask about the logic, just trust me that it’s there. I love meatloaf. What’s better than tossing meet together, baking it in the oven, and slathering ketchup over it? Well…maybe Katt’s recent turducken of meatloaf concoction (which I’m pretty sure includes at least two of the three men’s food groups). (Note from ML: MAAAAAAM! THE MEATLOAF!)

(Photo: Katt Kasper)

in Bacon / Cheese / Drinks / Holiday / Lists / Pig / Red Meat / Top 10 Lists 2 comments

by ML

Tiny Food Party

Scene: Cocktail party. Room full of people trying to schmooze and network with each other. Me, standing in a corner, balancing my drink on a ledge or in my arms, avoiding eye contact with everyone while trying to eat a cheesesteak to prevent the instant drunk that comes after drinking on an empty stomach. Enter: Tiny Food Party, a book that has changed every party I’ll ever host again.

Bite-size versions of large foods are the best for cocktail parties or any situation where there isn’t enough room for all guests to eat with a knife and fork, and are way more substantial than baby carrots. We’re not talking pigs in a blanket, here. But I was still apprehensive about throwing a party out of a book based on small food because: 1) I don’t like following recipes 2) I was afraid my guests would be hungry 3) I was afraid my guests would eat too much and not get drunk (frequent problem among my group) and 4) I was afraid I’d spend the entire party in the kitchen cooking.

And you know, I feel like, in general, the reason people don’t use recipes or cookbooks more is because the recipes are long and involved, and always involve a list of ingredients that either a) I do not have or b) I don’t feel like buying for one recipe. Also? The thing about entertaining is that I like to actually *enjoy* my parties and talk to my guests, instead of being stuck in the kitchen pumping out food and carefully plating things, using recipes I am unfamiliar with. I know my friends love my food, but they love my company even more. So when I was planning my own tiny food party, I did a few things that I believe are successful to any entertaining situation.

1) Know your recipes: I used each recipe as a general guideline. Why? Because it was easier for me to make my standard potato salad than use their recipe.

2) Know yourself: Many of the recipes had to be modified for drunk cooking, because hello, I’m not saying sober at my own party.

3) Know your guests: I took the bacon out of everything. Sacrilege? Maybe. This book is absolutely wonderful in that everything includes bacon (from the BBQ sauce to the muffins), but I had a non-pork eater in the house. She’d never want me to modify my cooking for her, but then she just wouldn’t eat and would end up a drunk mess. Turns out she still ended up slapping my new boyfriend across the face, but whatever, at least it wasn’t my fault.

To test the real functionality of these recipes, appetizers and dinner were served without seating and with minimal utensils. The menu (the photos get worse as the night progressed, deal with it):

Tiny Apple Cider Sangria

in Cheese / Drinks / Holiday / Pig / Red Meat / Trends / Veggie 4 comments

by Emily

Smoky Southwestern Steak & Sweet Potato Chili

It’s always a bit difficult for me to surrender to the changing of the seasons this time of year; summertime is my favorite and I’m always reluctant to bid it farewell. Plus, here in Texas it’s still in the 80s most days, and I feel like I should be hitting the swimming hole rather than cozying up to the fireplace in a chunky sweater. The silver lining to my autumn blues is that I love, love, love fall flavors. I can mix pumpkin or sweet potato into practically any dish and call it an improvement.

On one of the rare gloomy, rainy days we’ve had so far this year, my roommate Dayna and I decided it was chili time. I detest canned chili (obviously) and even homemade, traditional ground beef chili gets slightly boring. My favorite chili recipe is one I created incorporating all of my favorite fall tastes. It’s hearty and comforting, yet very healthy and simple to make. It incorporates a smoky southwestern flair, thanks to the addition of chipotle peppers in adobo sauce. It uses steak instead of ground beef, black beans and corn instead of kidney beans, pumpkin to add richness and bulk… basically, this is not your average chili and that’s why I like it.

Smoky Southwestern Steak & Sweet Potato Chili

in Recipe / Red Meat 1 comments

by Katt Kasper

Rainy Day Meatballs

On a recent Saturday morning here in sunny southern California, I woke up fully expecting to go for a long run, when I look out the window and see a phenomenon that I rarely experience and always despise—RAIN! God, I hate the rain. I’ve got an underground lawn sprinkler system that is fed by the water we steal from Colorado, so why do I need rain? Now what do I do to fill my day? Guess I could cook something…but what would take all day to make and yet still be worth the effort? Hmmmm….wait, I’ve got it! Meatballs! What’s better on a rainy afternoon than spaghetti and meatballs? And considering that I’ve already had a bottle of wine and some crusty bread for breakfast, it makes perfect sense!

First I’ll make my usual large pot of tomato sauce and while it simmers for a few hours I’ll make a batch of my world-class meatballs. Being that I was raised on meatballs made by some chef named ‘Boy-ardee,’ I don’t have any warm childhood memories of great-tasting Italian dishes. I came from a Polish family and our version of spaghetti and meatballs was sauerkraut and sausage. So over the years I’ve tried many different versions and methods of making this dish, and this is the recipe that I’ve come up with. I don’t know what is considered a ‘classic’ version but this one never gets any complaints… except that I should have made more. Maybe it’s the medical marijuana talking but my friends seem to like it. I hope you do too. It just takes a while to put together so rent The Godfather 1 and 2 and open a couple bottles of good Chianti or <erlot. As they say in Italy, “Divertanosi”! (Look it up!)

Katt’s Rainy Day Meatballs

in Bacon / Cheese / Recipe / Red Meat 0 comments

by snebbu

Endless Road Trip Boston: Ye Olde Union Oyster House

On our Sam Adams tour, we heard references to the Union Oyster house several times during the two hours we were there. One memorable reference was to their food, while the other was to a beer that they brew only to serve at that one location. So obviously, our post-brewery eating agenda was set.

Of course, what’s a trip to Boston without a little history?! The Union Oyster House claims to fame because of its food, yes, but also its history. It’s the oldest restaurant (in continuous service) in the United States. The restaurant has seated members of the Union Army, those damn Red Coats (I’m sure), presidents and politician, including plenty of those Kennedys. Apparently JFK had a favorite booth upstairs that is now dedicated to him—“The Kennedy Booth.”

It’s also more in more demand than we thought…with a three-hour wait, we had reservations at 10:00 P.M. It was also worth it…

Oyster House Clam Chowder

in Fish / Food Travel / Red Meat / Restaurants 3 comments

by Katt Kasper

The Turducken of Meat: Meatloafenstein

Maybe it’s because of Halloween, or maybe it’s because of the alcohol, but whatever the reason, like my old buddy Dr. Frankenstein, I’VE CREATED A MONSTER! You might think me mad but it came to me while I was enjoying a bottle of scotch and wrestling with the concept of a ‘Turducken.’ You know, the bird stuffed inside a bird stuffed inside a bird. Although I could appreciate the premise, I’m not that much into eating fowl. But wait, I thought! What if I could take my favorite meats—chopped steak, veal, sausage, prosciutto and bacon— and combine them together in a similar fashion? What if I took a pork kielbasa, wrapped it in bacon, and stuffed that inside my favorite meatloaf? What if………

MMWOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! (That’s supposed to be crazy, maniacal laughter). Igor! Ready the kites! There’s a storm approaching and I’ve assembled the parts! Lock the doors! Shield your eyes! Throw the switch – NOWWWWWWW!!

Katt’s ‘Meatloafenstein Monster’ with Igor’s ‘Hell-Fire Hot Sauce’

in Bacon / Eggs / Featured / Personal / Recipe / Red Meat 4 comments