Burns My Bacon: Bones

I think we can all agree: meat on the bone tastes better. Or it’s more fun to eat, anyway. I know a lot of people who won’t eat meat off the bone because it reminds them it’s an animal (…what?) but I’m not one of them.

I was in Jamaica earlier this month and I noticed something. Every time I ordered meat (jerk chicken, curried goat, or chicken in brown sauce for breakfast — pictured above), I spent most of my meal picking small bones from it. I mean, bones in whole fish are sometimes inevitable (they’re just so small and hard to see), but I really don’t want to be eating bone fragments, especially when they can be sharp.

In Jamaica, it seems that to make the meat a more manageable size…they don’t take it off the bone, or even cut the bone at a place where it’d make sense (like the joint). The meat, bone and all, is just chopped up into bite size pieces. But who the hell cares if it’s bite-size if there are bone shards and shit in my food? Instead of eating meat off one, large, smooth and normally shaped bone, I’m sitting there with these little bite-size pieces of meat, and even smaller bones everywhere in them. And since there’s no rhyme or reason to the cutting, it’s impossible to predict where the bone/fat/ligament will be on each piece.

It was a scavenger hunt I never signed up to play, and after I got halfway through each bone hunt, I just gave up and ate what else was on my plate. I wasted so much food. And even if I DID spend the time picking through the bones, I just couldn’t get all the meat off that I would normally, given the sharp bone edges and fragments that were present.

Am I missing something? Is there a method to this madness? Is this a way to get people to eat less meat?

Thanks for Stealing My Idea, Federal Donuts.

I love the local Philly donut shop, Federal Donuts. I really do.

On another note, if you follow the @EndlessSimmer twitter, you know last week I was at the Krispy Kreme factory (details to come, stay tuned!) During our product development session, I made this creation:

Vanilla glaze (only because I wasn’t offered marshmallow), graham cracker crumbs, chocolate drizzle.

(Pic: Krispy Kreme)

And then five days later, Federal Donuts unveiled this on their facebook page:

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This Looks Familiar

Folks, meet the ZestN’est.

I was sent one of these at least six months ago to review. In case you’re wondering, it’s the device on the right. It’s an “ergonomic” zester. AND it stores the zest for later use.

So here’s the deal. You zest a lemon, orange or whatever with this contraption and instead of the zest getting stuck to the back of your microplane/falling on the floor/etc, it goes into the nice little lemon shaped holder.

I’m not saying the idea isn’t good, but let’s be honest. This is a redesigned PedEgg, right?

I wanted to hate this product so badly because it looks like the thing I use for pedicures. I mean. It IS the thing I use to scrape dead skin off my feet, just redesigned with a slightly different blade. Zest storage compartment=where all of the dead skin goes in the PedEgg. Gross, right?

Sort of. I’ve always hated the regular microplane, how the zest gets stuck to the back and goes everywhere because the bowl/plate/etc is generally smaller than the foot-long microplane (and why are they that long anyway?)

The ZestN’est sat in my drawer for months before I even used it. But as the holidays came around, our forbidden love affair started to develop.  I was zesting a lot of freaking fruit, and with this device, I wasn’t wasting any. None going on the counter from using a microplane over a tiny bowl.

I’ve learned my lesson. Sometimes a rebranded product IS good for something. Next time you see an infomercial and think “isn’t that just a ___?” Think again. The results could surprise you. Although I hope you’re not cooking with a Snuggie or Shake Weight any time soon.

Turning Water into Wine, ES Style

I get made fun of a lot on ES Staff emails for a variety of reasons, one of which is my love of instant ramen noodles. I’m not sure if my fellow ES writers are horrified or if they think I’m gross, but now maybe everyone will understand why.

Last year I was dating a man who loved food as much as I did, but like many people…hated cooking elaborate things. The relationship is long gone but this “recipe” isn’t.

After  a month or two of expensive dates, both of us became really poor. I was eating soup out of a box mix (still am, but whatever), and he bought a case of instant ramen. Now, ramen? I know what you’re thinking. I did too. I judged him. I said, “I can’t believe you’re almost 30 and eating ramen for dinner!!”

But then something happened. He made the most delicious thing to come out of his kitchen, and it went something like this:

The Best Ramen Ever

1 brick instant beef ramen (he preferred Maruchan but I think Sapporo Ichiban is far superior)
2 parts Frank’s Red Hot
1 part Tabasco
1 part Sriracha

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How to Enjoy (and Survive) a Cocktail Class

My talent is eating and drinking. Not cooking. Not baking. And absolutely not cocktail mixing. If you know me even a little, you know my idea of a good cocktail is vodka that costs more than $15 a bottle and cranberry juice, mixed in various ratios depending on what time it is and where I’m headed.

So I was pretty excited when The Wine School of Philadelphia invited me in for a Pre-Prohibition Cocktail Class last month led by Jason Wilson. I was a little afraid though. What do I know about cocktails?

Nothing.  I knew nothing.

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Artsy Photo of the Day

Hangover helpers for the new year.

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