Friday Food Porn: Lost in Translation

This was my view at a recent stop to a local taqueria. If you live in an area with a large Hispanic population, you may be familiar with this image. Bimbo bakery is the largest bakery in the world, with brands in Mexico, Europe and the US. You would think someone in the marketing department would have called a meeting about the name and the fact that the mascot is a satisfied looking bear with an eclair phallus. Apparently not.

Royal Endorsed Products You Should Own

We continue our extensive coverage of the Royal Wedding by bringing you an assortment of Royal Family sponsored food and drink products. What is a Royal Warrant you ask? From the horse drawn carriage itself, they are:

… a mark of recognition to individuals or companies who have supplied goods or services for at least five years to HM The Queen, HRH The Duke of Edinburgh or HRH The Prince of Wales.

So those obscure looking crests on that packet of tea you have in your cupboard — it means you drink the same crap as The Queen,  her husband whose name I forget, or Prince Charles. For some reason the rest of the Royal clan aren’t worthy of sponsoring products — either that or we just don’t care. And in case you were wondering, The Queen Mother (may she rest in peace) also had her own endorsement deals — she was partial to a bottle glass of Bombay Sapphire from time to time. So if you plan to eat and drink like a Queen during this royal season, don’t forget the…

Colman’s Mustard

A staple in any fine kitchen, Coleman’s mustard was endorsed by The Queen in 1964.

Tanqueray Gin

Not long after her coronation The Queen was quick to appoint her favorite tipple. Tanqueray Gordon & Co Ltd. was given the Royal honor way back in 1955.

 

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Thursday 3: Things You Didn’t Know You Can Fry

As veterans of several state fairs, at Endless Simmer we know there’s just about no food that can’t stand for a little frying.

1. Cottage Cheese

Yes, it’s good. Yes, it’s better battered and fried.

2. Flowers

These pretty zucchini blossoms will be showing up at the far mar before you know it. You know what to do.

3. Avocado

Fine, maybe this one didn’t work out so well, but you know we’ll be trying again.

Top Chef Masters Exit Interview: Episode 1

As we say farewell to Top Chef All-Stars, we turn our attention to the newly revamped Masters. No longer will Kelly Choi grace our screens as she has been replaced by Aussie chef Curtis Stone. With him he brings the traditional format that we know and love in Top Chef — no more counting points, just plain and simple quickfire and elimination challenges — and we were in for a treat as the first episode was Restaurant Wars.

Keep reading to hear what the first eliminated chef had to say.

 

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Breakfast Beer: It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere

(Photo: Facebook)

We’ve all been there. The morning after a birthday/big game/house party/Wednesday, the harsh light of day beating through the window, you drag your carcass out of bed in search of something, anything that will make your pounding hangover subside, an attempt to take the edge off…then you see it: the can of warm, half-flat PBR on the counter. Dare you?! A hair of the dog can’t hurt, right? Bottoms up and hope for the best.

Well, a brewery in New Zealand says, enough is enough. Time to free morning beer from its stigma as “desperate hangover cure” and into a whole new perspective: elegant breakfast!

According to the NZ Herald, Moa brewery has released a new beer, a “cherry-flavoured, wheat lager,” that is being marketed as a breakfast beverage. Of course, this has simultaneously excited and outraged society. Some sources go so far as to call it “normalising pathological behaviour.” Hmm, pathological? The Moa brewery co-owner makes a valid counterpoint:

“Look at cultures like Germany where a lager in the right circumstances is part of the culture, or Italy where the grappa is used as a morning pick-me-up. Cultures around the world consume alcohol in the right way, and that includes breakfast.”

Beer as breakfast: a welcome addition to the table, or a plight upon society?

Torta Reform

Due to the nature of my regular nine to five six seven whenever-I’m-done job, I am what you may call a Road Warrior. I spend 80% of my time traveling throughout the wonderful state of Pennsylvania. As an added bonus, this has led to some really great food finds that I would not otherwise have known about.

I found myself last week without a lunch and only about 15 minutes away from a small Mexican restaurant a friend of mine had recommended.  This friend grew up in southern Texas and is pretty stringent in his standards for Mexican food. He will rail against the evils of pre-packaged taco shells and refuses to even say the words “taco” and “bell” in the same sentence, so I felt that I could trust his opinion. Pulling up to the restaurant, I was a little unsure. The GPS told me I had arrived but the fact that I had pulled up to a small storefront with no signage was a little concerning. Once I stepped out of the car though, I was comforted by the fantastic smells of coastal Mexico.

As soon as I walked in, I knew I had come to a seriously tasty place.

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5-Hour Energy Lasagna

On my first day off from cooking in about six days, I was wondering what to do with a free day. Those taxes still needed to be done, but that didn’t sound stimulating. I finally settled on doing some cooking and eating of my own after finding the sharpest, most bad ass knife at the Asian Market for $4.99 (seriously!!). It will be a strong competitor to my $135 Shun. Taxes can wait. And after all, a killer knife is somewhat like a new outfit: it’s impossible not to use immediately.

Since cooking rustic Italian food at my new job for the last month or so, lasagna sounded pretty divine. I have no doubt that you ES-ers love some good lasagna. But if you have your own secret lasagna recipe, I would like you to add one thing to the ingredients: one 5-Hour Energy shot. No, not to put into the lasagna…to drink before commencing said lasagna making. I’m a Red Bull girl, but this 5-Hour Energy is pretty stellar. You can do jumping jacks or wrestle on the couch when it is in the oven to burn off some calories, if you’re planning on eating half of the lasagna like a champion (which I would never do).

You should also add the following to your secret family recipe for lasagna: home made pasta (I challenge you to think outside the box of lasagna noodles), good tunes (forget Sinatra, My Morning Jacket is great lasagna making music), fun stories about Friday Fuck Ups, and some box wine (Bota Box Old Vine Zin perhaps) so you can’t tell how much you’re actually drinking. Please take note that you should not cook lasagna on an empty stomach (or without an energy drink). I always like to eat an opposite-type cuisine for lunch when I’m going to cook dinner. That way your palate has been awakened and will not be dulled with the same flavors. Thai food would go nicely in this instance.

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