Burns My Bacon: Never-Ending Salad Ingredients

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Before I became food-obsessed I was very happy eating chicken caesar salads all of the time.

ALL OF THE TIME.

I ate them as a starter salad, as an entree, and once in a while – in a wrap. My favorite chicken caesar salad wrap is from the chain, SaladWorks. My sister and I would always eat there whenever I came home from college. I’m trying to think back on our orders: I would sub-in hard boiled eggs for croutons, and I think she kept the croutons in, but maybe added tomato? Sherry – remember?

Unfortunately, there are no SaladWorks in my area (although I just discovered the closest was in the dreaded land of University of Maryland’s College Park). I have long desired a similar concept in DC. I wanted lots of salad and wrap choices. Both stock orders and make-your-own.

In the past couple years, however, DC has caught on to the salad bar trend: Sweetgreen, Chop’t, Mixt Greens… And just like cupcakes, we take that trend and turn it into a never-ending nightmare. Yes, nightmare.

And now what I’ve asked for. Well, I’m regretting it. I just can’t get into the over-stuffed salads. I’m never satisfied when I choose my own, usually with spinach, chickpeas, avocado, goat cheese and beets. Which sounds freaking awesome, but is somehow dry. Or there’s not enough avocado. In fact at Chop’t they so heavily beat the avocado into the salad that instead of supple chunks, the avocado coats all the ingredients without any real avocado texture and flavor.

Maybe I can’t select the proper combination when there are so many choices and when I like so many different ingredients. And the salads and wraps that are created by the chef, well, it’s hard to choose that option when there’s the opportunity to create my own.

Should I just return to romaine, chicken and parm cheese?

(Photo @ Mixt Greens by Endless Simmer)

The Cutest Eaters in the World

Who is the cutest eater of them all? Turns out (not so surprisingly) everyone thinks their own kid is. We asked you to send in photos of your young ones eating, cooking, and playing with their food, and you respond by the boatload, with more than 200 entries. Our esteemed panel of judges has narrowed it down to our 30 favorite eaters, and now it’s your turn to vote for the cutest. Check out all the photos then vote at the bottom of the post.

There has got to be a way to get in here. Zoe What cake? I haven’t seen any cake. Skylar
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Didn’t expect that flavor profile! Peyton C. Mind if I lick my fingers? Elyse
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The cheezburglar. Azura Good to the last drop. Cayden
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You can pry my carrot from my tiny, sticky hands.
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Victory! Baby one, cake zero. Adelyn
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Picture perfect. Kenzie Pasta is meant for slurping. Peyton P.
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This does not look like what I ordered! Victoria There’s a hand in my chocolate! Sadie
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Yes, I plan on eating all of these. Anton
Two-for-one cute eaters. Gracie and Oliver
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Baking is a piece of cake. Noah What? Do I have something on my face? Olivia
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Picture time? I gotta lick this bowl! Madeline/Caroline
Two chefs are better than one. Theo and Ida
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Who needs cake when you’ve got squash? Kynan Hmm….needs a little more sugar. Josie
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Yeah, I know I eat cute. Jaden Pasta + Sauce + Kid. Never Gets Old. Christian
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I am the iron mini-chef! Drake
What happened? Brittany
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Sweets are for babies. Nicholas Patriotism is delicious. Piper
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Eat. Study. Sleep. Dorian Hey, I’m not done yet! Nathan
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Have you seen my dough? Makena Jean Star of Top Chef, Season 32. Stanton
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Polls are open until Friday, March 12. Oh, and this is an American Idol style “final” — since there are so many cuties, we’ll do a run-off with the two or three cutest eaters who get the most votes. You can vote once per day — cast your ballot after the jump!

Update: Cutest Eater Run-Off

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Oscar Party Menu: 10 Recipes for 10 Movies

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The countdown is on. Less than one week until Hollywood’s glitzy night of self-indulgence and debauchery. Don’t judge, we’re all a little conceited, right? I know my cooking is better than yours so where’s my trophy? Of course, as much as we love movies, we’re mostly in it for the food. Let’s take a closer look at what the 10 best picture nominees have taught us (dinner-wise) over the past year.

Avatar

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The Na’Vi don’t really eat much in Avatar but that doesn’t stop people from speculating and theorizing for themselves, going so far as to say that Na’Vi wouldn’t have the enzymes to digest earth food, and earth meat would be poisonous. Putting that aside, if I were a Na’Vi I’d be hungry for a big piece of meat like these Hoison Sauce BBQ Ribs.

The Blind Side

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While the world waits for Sandra Bullock to receive her first, and c’mon, only Oscar we can only imagine how many natty lights and burgers were consumed while filming on location at a football field. Celebrate the Blind Side with your tailgating food of choice—may we suggest beer brats.

District 9

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Two words for ya: cat food—the only “food” item worth talking about to come out of this movie. ES in no way recommends eating cat food, but you can always go with a kitty litter cake. The next best thing is SPAM—it comes in a can, it looks like crap and smells awful. And if the Prawns ever do come to earth then ES has this handy guide for you.

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Suck My Dog, Bitch

What you get for calling an apple a fruit.
(Go forth DC!)

Porky Photo of the Day

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Momofuku-style pork buns – from recipe here. Totally worth it if you’ve got an entire day to kill.

We Don’t Have Coke

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I am never early for anything in my life. And I’m barely ever on time. Late. Late. Late. So when I arrived at my friend Whitney’s bridal shower at exactly 11 am—showered, hung over, and pleased with my sexy parking spot with 51 minutes already stacked in the meter—I was of course, very proud of myself. Then I tried to open the door and it was locked. Yea, Farmers & Fishers wasn’t open. Panic. The manager came over and unlocked the door.

Manager: “We’re not open yet, we open at 11:30.”

Me: <Took a step back, swinging head from side to side, am I at the right restaurant? What day is it? Am I that hung over? Fuck.> “Um.”

Manager: “Are you here for the bridal shower.”

Me: <Phew!!!> “Yes.”

Manager: “It doesn’t start until 12. But you’re welcome to sit at the bar and wait.”

Me: <Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! The bar! I can’t even look at alcohol. Kill me.> Oh man. I’m never early for anything. Thanks. And where can I get some change for my meter?”

Manager: “The bar.”

After feeding the meter, I play on my iPhone for an hour (at the seat next to the host stand), mostly flipping through pictures of magnificent dresses on the Style.com app. When we get in the private room I’m offered wine. Instead I ask for a Coke.

Server: “We don’t have Coke…”

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