Huckabee Does 360 in Attempt to Win Back Foodie Vote

Ever since we shocked the political world with our unendorsement of Hillary Clinton last week, which directly lead to her collapse in the Iowa caucuses (even though she had the best snacks!), the presidential candidates have been trembling in their boots to see what Endless Simmer is going to do next.

But make no mistake about it, would-be Commanders-in-Chief: we will not be swayed by false foodiness.

In the most shameless display of food pandering, also unendorsed candidate Mike Huckabee has completely abandoned his Middle America “I love Applebees” positioning, and embraced an elitist Northeastern food stance ahead of the New Hampshire primary.

Case in point: at a campaign stop Monday, the man who formerly only ate horse meat sat down for a “Huck-a-burger.” So what’s in a burger named after the Boy from Hope? Freshly slaughtered spam topped with miracle whip and creamed corn? Nope, check it out:

A Huckaburger is a patty of herb-seared bison, tomato, and baby spinach on a whole wheat English muffin, served with deep-fried pickles.

Herb-seared bison? Baby spinach?? English muffin????? Excuuuuuse me, Monsieur Huckabee. Would you like any Grey Poupon with that?

Honestly, the Huck-a-burger sounds quite delicious. And do tell me more about these fried pickles.

But the food-loving voters of America will not be fooled. Mike Huckabee, for utterly shameless vote-baiting, you are doubly unendorsed.

UPDATE: Oh, wait – I guess that’s supposed to be called a 180. My bad, not a math blog.

Photo: The Elephant