Rat-A-Roni?

rat

Yes, I’m obsessed with the WaPo chats. Okay, so here is an a-mazing excerpt from Kim OD’s chat. Surely this reader is also a fan of ES! (Or just observing the Chinese New Year – the Year of the Rat.)

Fairfax, Va.: Do you have any rat recipes?

Kim O’Donnel: I think this is a question better suited for the most intrepid eater on the planet, Mister Anthony Bourdain.

***

No Rat on the Menu!: Actually, the Chinese government passed a resolution or some such thing asking the people to respect and honor (or something like that) rats for the next year…..I don’t think that includes eating them!

washingtonpost.com: PETA to China: Respect Rats, Especially This Year ( AP)

Kim O’Donnel: Interesting. Thanks to Mister Rocs, my handy producer, for digging up this link.

Remember to cook up your favorite rodent and tell us all about it. Submissions due 03/04/08. Send to: contests@endlessssimmer.com

We Are Taiwanese If You Please, We Are Taiwanese If You Don’t Please

tofu-broccoli

Editors Note: Okay, so I can be pretty judgmental. For example, when women either (a) don’t have their nails painted, (b) have chipped nail polish or (c) only paint their toe nails in the summer, I immediately think less of them. Now of course, some of my best friends are negligent polishers, but that doesn’t mean I forgive them for being an absentee nail painter. See my point? I’m ridiculous.

When I first met Maidelitala all I knew was that she was a vegetarian and didn’t eat cheese (but, the cheese is no fault of her own – she’s a self-IDed “lactard.”) With the no meat, no cheese thing I thought I would have nothing to talk to her about. But, as I very soon learned, she loves to cook and makes really amazing veggie, cheese-less food. So as a part of my own learning process – learning to accept non-carnivores—here is Maidelitala. Oh, and she’s also a very exciting dancer. But that’s another story.

Since I was a wee tyke, one of my very favorite things to eat in the world has been a perfectly cooked plate of fresh broccoli (not raw, not overcooked.) Thus you must imagine my abject horror at Bush the Senior‘s shameful show of disdain for the cute little green trees and my chortles of delight when the Broccoli Farmers of America dumped a wheel barrel of the herbaceous crop on the White House lawn back in the day. Ahhh those were the days, when wheel barrel rolling terrorist farmers could get close enough to the White House to play practical jokes on the mouthy geezer who called himself Commander-in-Chief of this outfit…

Anyway, one of my very, very favorite ways to cook this veg-edible is Taiwanese style with sliced, slow cooked bean curd (a variation on a recipe taught to me by a not so dear roommate – not that she was bad… she was just a really, really loud talker and kept all sorts of pig products in every orifice of the fridge, which was super offensive to my veggie sensibilities. Regardless.)

Even if bean curd is something you really would rather avoid eating (it wasn’t so long ago that the word bean curd made me think of regurgitated legumes,) I promise this is a delicious, simple dish and the broccoli alone is worth making. Believe me, I’ve been a veg-head since I was 10 – I know what I’m talking about.

Read on for this special veggie edition of ES

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When Life Gives You Pineapples…

Finished Masterpiece

Obviously you have to make sweet and sour sauce to go with it. Not only was my boss headed out of town for the week, but she was kind enough to leave me with her leftover pineapple. Needing to come up with a way to use a large quantity of soon-to-spoil fruity goodness, I turned to my wok for inspiration.

Recipe and more inspiring photos just a click away…

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T.G.I. Super Tuesday

giuliani.jpg
The former foodie frontrunner wonders what he failed to eat.

The presidential campaign is heading into its biggest day yet, and across the board, the candidates are still ignoring the food vote. We’ve said goodbye to Rudy Giuliani, whose brave attempts to eat his way into power were thwarted when his ill-conceived strategy to bring out the Florida Jews ended in a miserable failure. At least one foodophile is ready to speak the hard truth: he should have gone more Ashkenazi.

Yet the remaining candidates have left this blog’s editorial board uninspired. Seriously people, Thailand has already made history by placing the “Thai Emeril” at the seat of government, is it so much to ask for some statements on your caviar policy? If this keeps up, we may have to start a Draft Bourdain campaign. Or at least Carol Mosely Braun.

While these shortcomings are depressing, we feel compelled to give you a few more updates on the field, given the enormity of today’s contests:

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Oh That Scrumptious Squirrel

Here is a friendly reminder about the glory of eating in the raw.

Remember to cook up your favorite rodent and tell us all about it. Submissions due 03/04/08.

ES Op Ed: Alton vs. Fungi

alton b

Editors Note: I never, ever cooked anything during college, well, except egg sandwiches. Meaning, I never discussed anything besides cafeteria food, beer and what funky concoction the Tennis House would push on us during my four years at university. Anyway, it wasn’t until recently when I was chatting with my newly-engaged college friend that I realized our love of food and cooking (and Jacques Pepin.) Here is BK and his rant on an ES fav – Alton Brown.

Hey Alton! Mr. Wizard called and he wants his show back. And while we’re at it, Bill Nye called you a plagiarist.

I am not a fan of Alton Brown. He bothers me on many levels. My complaints range from his philosophy on cooking, to his incredibly corny sense of humor, and on many points in between.

One of the aspects of his show which bothers me the most is the specious nature of the food trivia bits displayed before every commercial. When he is not completely wrong, he is reinforcing quaint myths that are usually based on some stereotype. Now, I am not accusing Alton Brown of being prejudice or anything of that nature. I am only suggesting that a man who seems to enjoy an anal retentive image should pay closer attention to detail when displaying purported facts.

A few nights ago I begrudgingly watched Good Eats when I was treated to a comical instance of what I have described above. I decided to watch for a little while because the show was dedicated to mushrooms. Mushrooms are one of my favorite foods. They are versatile, fun to cook with and even more fun to go hunting for in the wild. They also can make an average jam band concert seem epic!

Alton stated that Russians have the word “raszh” to describe when someone is crazy for mushrooms. Then, with the sense of humor of a sixth grader, he made a pun about Lenin having a bad raszh.

There is no doubt that Russians are mushroom crazy. If you have ever read any Nabakov, Tolstoy, Aksakov or Soloukhin, you will know that mushrooms hold a place in Russian folklore akin to potatoes in Ireland. Children learn through poems and songs at the youngest of ages how to determine which fungi are good for you and which are not. But every Russian also knows that even the most experienced of mushroom hunters can make a mistake now and then. Hence the term raszh. A slightly different mushroom crazy than Alton had in mind.

Eli Your Heart Out

spikeEditors Note: I’m sure you all remember our prolific sports correspondent, broadandpattison, from our half-assed football-food contest. First, we apologize for not following through on the contest, but with broad rallying Northern Virginia Democrats and our guiding spirit, The Birds, not inspiring us, the contest dwindled just like Aker’s foot. Hopefully for the next football season, when our readership quadruples, we can try it again. Here is the official ES Super Bowl round-up.

In anticipation of disappointing Super Bowl commercials and an even more miserable match-up……broadandpattison returns.

Before I go into my rant, let me just say this as a disclaimer: the New York Giants deserve to be in the Super Bowl. They played better than any other NFC playoff team down the stretch, simple as that. So what was their recipe? Answer: not sucking. While the national media and other football “experts” continue to praise Eli Manning, the fact of the matter is that he isn’t great, he just stopped sucking. Are our standards for a Super Bowl QB (and #1 draft pick) now simply, not throwing interceptions? That’s it? Really?

Read on for more expert analysis and broad’s checklist on SB parties’ food dos and don’ts

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