Eli Your Heart Out

spikeEditors Note: I’m sure you all remember our prolific sports correspondent, broadandpattison, from our half-assed football-food contest. First, we apologize for not following through on the contest, but with broad rallying Northern Virginia Democrats and our guiding spirit, The Birds, not inspiring us, the contest dwindled just like Aker’s foot. Hopefully for the next football season, when our readership quadruples, we can try it again. Here is the official ES Super Bowl round-up.

In anticipation of disappointing Super Bowl commercials and an even more miserable match-up……broadandpattison returns.

Before I go into my rant, let me just say this as a disclaimer: the New York Giants deserve to be in the Super Bowl. They played better than any other NFC playoff team down the stretch, simple as that. So what was their recipe? Answer: not sucking. While the national media and other football “experts” continue to praise Eli Manning, the fact of the matter is that he isn’t great, he just stopped sucking. Are our standards for a Super Bowl QB (and #1 draft pick) now simply, not throwing interceptions? That’s it? Really?

Read on for more expert analysis and broad’s checklist on SB parties’ food dos and don’ts

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Shake Shack it Like a Polaroid Picture

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Many apologies to all my Beyonces and Lucy Lius who are sick of reading about this obsessively over-chronicled burger stand, but as an NYC-based food blogger, I am contractually obliged to write about Shake Shack at least once per calendar year. Seeing as how it is December 28th, here goes. The following is an on-the-record gchat with our celebro-food-photog Brian:

Brian: hey, want to meet for cheese fries before the show?

BS: it’s open all year now?

Brian: YEAH!

BS: nice…yeah i’m in…who i am kidding that i will get anything else done today

Brian: haha
we’re dating
dinner and a show

BS: cheapest date ever!

Brian: lets blog it!

BS: oh absolutely

Brian: haha

BS: shakeshake in december is def newsworthy

Brian: bring your camera

BS: done

Brian: awesome

BS: i have a question…am I allowed to get a milkshake or is that too crazy?

***

Reason Number 123,549 why I would rather eat in New York than anywhere else. You can order a black-and-white milkshake at an outdoor cafe on a 30-degree day and no one so much as bats an eye.

Shake Shack in New York

Not So Mellow Mushrooms

sherry and dip

My brother, sister and I kicked our parents out of the house to throw a small Eagles party. Sure, the Birds didn’t have anything to play for, well, except to break our collective hearts by actually winning a fucking game. Regardless, friends came over to watch, eat and drink. And drink. We were taking shots of Hypnotiq by the time the 4 o’clock games were starting. And I was passed out by 6pm. This is all to say – I don’t really have any pics of the food. Oops.

I made a chipotle, beef and three bean chilli – served with cornbread muffins (from a box, but hey, I never claimed to bake); chickpea, artichoke and roasted red pepper dip – served with pita chips; spinach and cheese stuffed mushrooms; SAG’s homemade spicy pickles; SAG also made a chiptole dip; and we put out some extra sharp cheddar and Emmental cheese with crackers.

BUT, there were some leftovers of the spinach-cheese mixture, so I turned that into an ad hoc spinach and artichoke dip. Recipe for the mushrooms and the dip post jump.

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Hott Links: Oh, My Eyes Are Red? My Contacts Hurt

weeds

Now that’s one spicy meatball [Wonkette]

Baked baking, now even I can do that [Express]

Eff Canada, we’re moving to Indonesia [USA Today]

Photo: 3 Quarks Daily

Sometimes I Love Being an Adult

app dinner one

My first job post-college helped elect Annise Parker to her first term as Houston City Controller. During this period – the first time in my life where I didn’t have homework and I couldn’t get wasted and skip class – I forced myself to be semi-responsible. Thus, instead of going to happy hour every night, or going out to eat, I tried to cook dinner myself. If really only a means to waste time between getting home from work and getting to bed. But I’ll get more into those first cooking atrocities another time.

I remember how much I hated getting up for work. Not that being “Volunteer Coordinator” was all that awful, but I just thought – wow, do I really have to sit in front of a computer for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week (campaign – 7 days/week and 10 hours/day) for the next 45 years?!?! I hated being an “adult.”

Then, one of my coworkers brought in cheese and crackers for lunch. I stared at her in awe. I was so jealous. Here I was, eating my awful frozen veggie Cajun-seasoned stir fry enhanced with I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter spray (thanks, Mariah!), and she had the brilliant idea to bring in cheese and crackers.

As a kid, no one would ever allow you to eat just cheese and crackers for lunch. But as an adult, and as an adult making an embarrassing $750/month, the absolute genius of a cheese and crackers lunch made me thankful for finally being able to make my own decisions, be it lunch or a host of any other adult situations.

That being said, I now make lots of dinners that don’t necessarily pass as full fledged meals.

Are those “gasps” I hear from my ES readers? Yes, I know, I’m sure you think that every meal I create deserves its own Hollywood Star, but sometimes I keep it low-key. Shocking, I know.

The other night for dinner I made my own little plate where I could mix-and-match the items to create bite-sized pita canapes.

Read on for my sample platter.

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Quel Fromage

apple and brie

Editors Note: This is the second post detailing the food at my last catering gig. Here is the first.

The plan was to have all of the room temp dishes ready when the guests arrived and once they were comfortable drinking the wine and relaxing, I would bring out the hot app. This worked really well, even enticing “oohs” and “aahs” from the crowd.

Apple and [fill in the blank cheese] with Rosemary and Black Pepper

Slice apples using the most amazing uni-tasker of all time: the apple slicer. Watch the fun…

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