Science Class -

by gansie

An Onion By Any Other Name

Editors Note: Now that BK has taken a breather from bashing our friend, Alton, he’s now talking smack about vegetables.

Recently, I made pico de gallo and my hands reeked like onion for three days. Which stinks, both literally and psychologically, because it came out really well, but I am discouraged to make it again due to the odor. I tried some pretty aggressive soaps, but to no avail.

So I did a little research on the subject and found that if you rub your hands on stainless steel while running them under water, it would remove the smell. I gave it a shot with my stainless steel spoon rest (sadly, some of my spoons have chronic fatigue.)

Not surprisingly it worked. I loved this new discovery so much that I bought a stainless steel bar made to look like soap from MoMA. It now serves the doubly important role of removing onion and garlic smells from my hands and confusing people at my kitchen sink.

If only during my single days they would have made some sort of stainless steel gum that I could have used after garlic loaded Italian dinners. I may have done better with the ladies.

Pico de Gallo

No particular amounts. Just tomato, onion, cilantro, salt, pepper and white wine vinegar and little bit of diced cucumber to brighten it up.

Photo: 80P / Title: A Rose? Get it?

by BS

Where My Peeps At?

Over on our Facebook page earlier this week, Endless Simmer was ruminating about how excited we are for Peeps Season. (Of course you already know this if you are friends with us.)

Seriously though, how awesome is Easter? Jellybeans, Cadbury’s eggs, marshmallow peeps – it’s like Halloween but with Jesus. And this year, it comes extra early. Oh man, we must have been good this year or something.

Building on our excitement, JoeHoya wanted to make sure we knew the Washington Post runs an annual PEEPS DIORAMA CONTEST.

It’s OK, take a minute. I’m sure you’re staggering back with excitement the same way I was. Here are the details:

We want you to make a diorama of a famous occurrence or scene. It can be a historical, current or future event, or it can be a nod to pop culture. The main rule is that all the characters must be played by Peeps, those marshmallowy chicks and rabbits that start plaguing checkout lines in every grocery and convenience store this time of year….The winner will receive a $100 American Express gift check and a Peeps prize pack courtesy of Just Born, the company that owns the Peeps brand. Four runners-up will receive a $50 American Express gift check and a Peeps prize pack.

Let’s recap:

You get to make a diorama, for the first time since grade school, you have to incorporate peeps, you can win dollar bills, and “Extra credit may be given to deft use of puns in the concept or title.”

Oh it’s on.

Photo: WaPo

by gansie

ES Op Ed: To Veg or Not to Veg

Editors Note: ES first heard of Evo Diva through my journey to another world, but I’ve known she’s been a food enthusiast for much longer. Enjoy her peer-reviewed rant.

As a non-evangelical tree hugger, I feel a quiet sense of responsibility to convert to vegetarianism. After all, over half of the water and over 70% of the agricultural production in the U.S. is put toward raising livestock. As with most things, America’s consumption has gotten out of control. Besides, cows are just so damn cute – what did they ever do to deserve the slaughterhouse?

However, as an evolutionary biologist, I know that our species is not at its supreme fitness when sustained on a diet lacking in animals. If veggies don’t do their homework, they might not be getting essential B12 and D vitamins that are easily obtained from meat. Vitamin D is important for calcium absorption and strong bones. B12 is important in proper brain function. Other studies have shown that infants nursing from vegan mothers will not develop properly. Our ancestors might have subsisted on fruits and nuts, but our species evolved on the motto: “Variety is the spice of life.” While our teeth structure still is best suited for fruits, our most striking difference from other animals is our brain size. Along with B12, protein is essential for neurological development. A likely scenario is that our ancestors were obtaining new sources of protein in animal food options and were able to grow larger brains.

So what’s a hippie like me supposed to do? While true vegetarians agree that going halfway doesn’t count, I would argue that it is my only option. Choosing cage-free eggs, free range meat, and eating vegetarian 4-5 days of the week is my way of reconciling this inner conflict and pissing off people on both sides of the fence.

in Eggs / Fowl / Rants & Raves / Red Meat / Trends / Veggie 3 comments

by Russell Warnick

Clover Little Thing Aren’t You!!

I’m not one of your typical bridge and tunnel people but on occasions I will take a hike into Maryland or Virginia, passport in tow. This past weekend you may have spotted me taking a walk through Old Town, Alexandria; and what a worth while trip it was. I stumbled upon a gourmet coffee and wine store tucked off of King Street, aptly called Grape & Bean. Grape & Bean is a quaint little place with a selection of wines, cheeses, cured meats and coffee, also selling breads, baguettes and focaccia fresh from Restaurant Eve and handmade chocolate from Kingsbury Chocolates, both local businesses in Old Town.Before I get to the coffee I wanted to mention that they sell some crazy biodynamic wine, apparently the grape is harvested to the lunar cycle and with a little spiritual mysticism thrown in for fun, wtf!Back to the coffee, this is worth the trip alone, served not from your conventional espresso or filter machine but a Clover, and this is no ordinary contraption. The Clover is a performance piece, its almost as fun to watch the coffee being made as it is to drink, almost… The coffee is pretty darn tasty.

Costanza was Wrong

I’m sure everyone remembers the extremely profound episode of Seinfeld that dealt with the sensitive issue of “double dipping.” Costanza gets in a fight when his girlfriend’s brother Timmy chastises him for dipping a chip in dip, taking a bite, and returning the bitten chip to the bowl for more dip.

A little disgusting but a little bit necessary, to re-dip or not to re-dip is a burning question we all face from time to time. One dip just can’t feasibly grab the correct ratio of chip to dip. You really need that second submersion to get two perfect bites of chip and dip, but unless you’re eating the whole bag by yourself at home , there’s always that worry that someone at the party might be waiting to publicly out your double dipping. So what to do???

The answer you’ve been waiting for, after the jump.

ES Op Ed: Alton vs. Fungi

Editors Note: I never, ever cooked anything during college, well, except egg sandwiches. Meaning, I never discussed anything besides cafeteria food, beer and what funky concoction the Tennis House would push on us during my four years at university. Anyway, it wasn’t until recently when I was chatting with my newly-engaged college friend that I realized our love of food and cooking (and Jacques Pepin.) Here is BK and his rant on an ES fav – Alton Brown.

Hey Alton! Mr. Wizard called and he wants his show back. And while we’re at it, Bill Nye called you a plagiarist.

I am not a fan of Alton Brown. He bothers me on many levels. My complaints range from his philosophy on cooking, to his incredibly corny sense of humor, and on many points in between.

One of the aspects of his show which bothers me the most is the specious nature of the food trivia bits displayed before every commercial. When he is not completely wrong, he is reinforcing quaint myths that are usually based on some stereotype. Now, I am not accusing Alton Brown of being prejudice or anything of that nature. I am only suggesting that a man who seems to enjoy an anal retentive image should pay closer attention to detail when displaying purported facts.

A few nights ago I begrudgingly watched Good Eats when I was treated to a comical instance of what I have described above. I decided to watch for a little while because the show was dedicated to mushrooms. Mushrooms are one of my favorite foods. They are versatile, fun to cook with and even more fun to go hunting for in the wild. They also can make an average jam band concert seem epic!

Alton stated that Russians have the word “raszh” to describe when someone is crazy for mushrooms. Then, with the sense of humor of a sixth grader, he made a pun about Lenin having a bad raszh.

There is no doubt that Russians are mushroom crazy. If you have ever read any Nabakov, Tolstoy, Aksakov or Soloukhin, you will know that mushrooms hold a place in Russian folklore akin to potatoes in Ireland. Children learn through poems and songs at the youngest of ages how to determine which fungi are good for you and which are not. But every Russian also knows that even the most experienced of mushroom hunters can make a mistake now and then. Hence the term raszh. A slightly different mushroom crazy than Alton had in mind.

in Personal / Rants & Raves / TV / Veggie 5 comments

by BS

Are You Gonna Eat That?

ES told you back in ’07 that cloned steaks and bacon were on the horizon, and it looks like the long-awaited dream of man-made meat is just about here.

The FDA, the people who brought you oxycontin, olestra, and man-eating popcorn, have given the go-ahead to cloned meat.

The federal agency completed a gigantic multi-year study in which they concluded:

A- People don’t want to eat cloned meat. Because it’s creepy.

B – The FDA will allow companies to sell cloned meat.

C- Companies won’t even be required to label their products as having come from clones.

Nice one, federal government! There’s no one who can collect people’s concerns and then completely ignore them quite like you can. It’s enough to make a guy jump on board the Ron Paul blimp.

in Red Meat 0 comments