Only in America -

by forkitude

Grease, Goats and Girth: The Iowa State Fair

After the two-hour drive to Des Moines, Iowa, my taste buds were ready for the greasy foods on a stick and ridiculous fair concoctions that only the Iowa State Fair could deliver. My goal was to attend the fair on an empty stomach so I could report back to you, dear ESer, about how the delicious fried things on a stick tasted. But I have a confession to make: I WAS NOT HUNGRY. After a sweet and greasy fried twinkie that got me all sticky, my body said “no way are you eating any more of this shit.” No, the wasp drowning in the sugary residue around a funnel cake was not appetizing. And last time I checked, hot beef sundaes would make any normal person want to vomit. About eight bottles of water and 500 pictures later, I was exhausted, smelly, tired and grossed out. I never did find those chicken lips on a stick. I feel somewhat cheated.

It was a twilight zone of meat: pork, steak, chicken, turkey, bacon, sausage, meatballs, 1/2 lb tenderloins, hamburgers. And it seemed that every other person I saw was a walking example of what happens if one eats state fair food as one’s daily diet. The people watching just got better and better and more alarming as we made our way around the fair. (Picture the humans in the movie Wall-E.) I couldn’t snap my camera fast enough. In speaking with one seemingly regular gentleman, he asked me what I was doing with the big camera. I told him that I was photographing state fair food. He asked me, “are you taking pictures of all the freaks?” Yes, yes, I was. I couldn’t keep my shutter shut.

We were also lucky enough to catch a few of the animals left in their pens, including a gigantic pig that looked like a hippopotamus, sheep, goats, turkeys, ducks and cows. The smell, oh the smell, can only be described as hot and pungent. And most likely, very soon, these animals would be on a stick somewhere. Gross.

Pop a few antacids before you browse the selection of photos:

by BS

Finally, Pants Fit for a Food Blogger

We get a lot of pointless press releases here at ES, mostly for ridiculous unitaskers that we would never recommend. But once in a blue moon, we here about something that is just pure genius. This is one of those moments.

‘Tis a problem as old as the savage feast — you eat too much and your belly blasts the button right off your pants. In the past, gluttons safeguarded themselves by undoing their trousers before appetizers or by dining in elastic sweats, togas or mumus. At long last, there’s a stylish solution. San Francisco pantmaker betabrand.com teamed up with legendary chef Chris Cosentino, proprietor of Incanto (a restaurant where folks can dine on whole hogs’ heads), to create trousers for gluttons.

Yes, it’s a pair of pants that fits normally, but then allows you to expand your waist size to one of three different girths, depending on just how much of a glutton you’ve decided to be that night. I can’t tell you how many times I have wished this existed.

in Personal / Pig 0 comments

by ML

Bigger IS Better

You know what I really hate? Going to an event/concert/baseball game and paying $9 for a beer. And only buying one $9 beer at a time, because they don’t stay cold in those stupid plastic cups. Therefore, if I want more than one beer (which I always do), I have to leave my seat/dancing spot and wait in line for another one.

This weekend in Scranton, PA we made a discovery.

in Drinks 5 comments

by BS

Hott Link: Dishwasher Lasagna

Ever wondered if you could cook lasagna in your dishwasher? Of course you have!

Check out the recipe, now with video.

(Hat tip: Good Bite).

in Recipe 4 comments

by BS

The Badger State Strikes Again

Back in college, I had the distinct pleasure of spending four years of my life in Wisconsin, a place so American it makes the rest of America look like a Soviet gulag. Nowhere is this more evident than in Wisconsin’s grand culinary traditions, which have only three basic rules:

1) It must be fried

2) It must contain cheese

3) It must contain beer

While these rules have resulted in some questionable practices (cheese-filled beer brats – no thanks), every once in a while they coalesce into a new gastronomic invention so perfect that attention must be paid.

An old college friend recently posted the above photo on facebook and I nearly screamed out loud.

A deviled egg, dipped in cheese-y beer batter and deep fried. As she writes, “this should be on the Wisconsin stage flag.” Amen. Wrap that baby in bacon and it’ll be the new stars and stripes.

in Cheese / Eggs 6 comments

by Roo de Loo

Texas Tuesdays, Part II: Who You Callin’ Trailer Trash?

Photos: Matthew Wexler

I like to sit down at a proper table when I eat. And after closing the door on fifteen years in the restaurant industry, I like to be served. Sometimes I feel the phantom pain in my side when I see a defeated waiter struggling to get through a shift—but for the most part, I’m just happy it’s not me. So the thought of traipsing through sweltering downtown Austin like my ancestors crossing the Egyptian desert with matzoh in their pants made me wary. I imagined when I set off on a food trailer crawl that I might be disappointed with greasy funnel cakes and toxic yellow lemonade. And where would I pee? What I stumbled upon is an entire subculture of dedicated food artisans leaving their tire tracks all over town.

photos: Matthew Wexler

Chasing Chi’Lantro

One of the newest additions to the food trailer scene is Chi’Lantro, a name derived from two cultural staples: kimchi and cilantro. The fusion of Korean and Mexican food had me all a Twitter, which is a good thing because it’s the only way you can track this trailer down. With locations that vary like the changing winds, I have to credit a friend’s i-phone for my spicy pork taco with Korean soy vinaigrette salad and salsa roja. I can’t get too attached though, as this newcomer is already revamping their menu along with their ever-changing locale.

Holding the Torch

Torchy’s Tacos is a benchmark of Austin’s food trailer scene. They are “living the taco dream” by serving up an array of tortilla-stuffed concoctions—from classic breakfast tacos to more daring fare like The Brushfire, filled with Jamaican jerk chicken, grilled jalapeños and diablo sauce. Founder and Executive Chef Michael Rypka mortgaged his house and maxed out a couple of credits cards in pursuit of the perfect taco. And it’s paid off. The homemade salsas were a knockout, and I have to give the guy a hats off for continuing to locally source the majority of their products and meats.

in Food Travel / Trends 5 comments

by Roo de Loo

Texas Tuesdays, Part I: The Carnivore’s Dilemma

A light lunch at The County Line, one of Austin's famous barbecue restaurants. Photo: Matthew Wexler

I had one thing on my mind during my recent trip to Austin, Texas—and it wasn’t where to purchase a pair of Wranglers or how to two-step my way into the arms of a stranger (although those options presented themselves repeatedly).

Meat.

How much and how many varieties could I eat? The answer: plenty. Let’s talk about a few of the best.

Where Do I Draw the Line?

When my companions ordered “The Cadillac” at the famous County Line Bar-B-Q, I knew I’d be in trouble. The family-size platters include sausage, chicken, marbled 2^nd cut brisket, original lean brisket, beef ribs and pork ribs—along with homemade bread and side dishes. The pork ribs were my favorite: smoky and sweet and falling of the bone. Just like me by the end of the meal. When County Line old-timer Dee Dee (with a purple bow in her hair that rivaled one of those Fred Flintstone beef ribs and an equally impressive smile across her face) arrived with a wedge of bread pudding and bourbon sauce, I nearly rolled out of my chair and right into hill country. But I’m a savory kind of guy, so I left dessert to the ladies and was still dipping handfuls of brisket into the County Line’s signature hot & spicy sauce as the rest of the group waddled to the parking lot.

in Food Travel / Red Meat 3 comments