Veggie Much in Need of Some Help

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Editor’s Note: You’re not allowed to read this post if you’re currently dating me. Thanks for your cooperation

OK, I’m in need of some serious assistance here, ESers!  So the veggie gf’s birthday is on Thursday. Not really thinking, I suggested we could go to this veggie-friendly fancy restaurant by her house, or she could tell me what she wants me to cook, or I could just cook her a surprise meal. Of course she opted for the surprise, and now I’m freaking out because I’ve committed to crafting a “special” meal, but I’m totally inhibited since usually when I’m trying to go fancy, some form of pork is always my M.V.I.

We cook together all the time, but usually make something fairly simple, like a veggie stir-fry or veggie fajitas. I just don’t know how to go fancy with the veg. God, it’s so much easier to make people feel special when you can just give them bacon.

So I need to devise a semi-fancy menu sans flesh. I’m thinking maybe some kind of spring-y soup followed by, man I don’t even know what.

Limitations: she doesn’t like eggplant, which I think is totally unfair. If you’re going to rule out an entire food group, you really should be required to eat everything in the other food groups. She also doesn’t like tomatoes unless they’re in-season and juicy, which I think is fair. She’s not a vegan (thank god), so cheese is very much on the table.

I know there are a lot of you vegetarians and vegetarian-lovers out there, so hit me with your best “fancy” veggie meal plans. Oh, and if you have a chocolate dessert recipe that a baking-challenged cook can handle, hook me up with that too. I promise to report back with pretty pictures and/or disaster stories.

(Photo: kighp)

The Taste of Bursting Sunshine

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One of the palates I attempt to cater to is that of Romeo, my bf.  Romeo is a rather demanding discerning eater. He doesn’t like it when I add diced garlic to a dish.  Romeo prefers garlic minced with the pampered chef garlic press that lives in our kitchen (which, to be honest, is hands-down the best garlic press I have ever used, lemme tell you). I comply with this demand suggestion. Romeo prefers his meals more gently spiced than I like mine. (To be fair some like it hot, and some like it hotter still, and I represent a dot somewhere near the hot-hot-hot end of the bland-to-razzle dazzle spicy continuum. This I admit.) I’ve tried to tone down the hotness for Romeo’s wimpy sensitive taste buds, and with occasional exceptions, I usually succeed in a palatable compromise for the both of us.

There is one thing that Romeo had asked for since I first took on the position of his chef-in-chief (or “kitchen dictator” as Romeo insists on calling me) that for a while absolutely bewildered me:  “flying saucer squashes.”

The conversation we had on several occasions always went something like this:

Maids: Do you want anything from the store?

Romeo (smiling and excited): Yes. Bring me the flying-saucer-squashes so we can use them in a curry.  They taste like bursts of sunshine.

Maids (genuinely curious):  What do you mean?

Romeo (short temper spent, yelling now): Buy those little yellow flying saucer squashes at the grocery store so we can put them in curry and they’ll taste like sunshine!

Maids: I don’t know what you mean by flying saucer squashes! Are they thin skinned or thick skinned? Summer or winter?

Romeo (frustrated and stamping both feet): They’re summer squashes that look like baby flying saucers and taste like sunshine! God!

I know he’s adorable, but that wasn’t much to go on, right?  Especially since  I’d never before encountered flying saucer-like  squashes.  I knew, however, that I needed to address Romeo’s unrequited craving for a summer squash that looked like a flying saucer and tasted like sunshine.

Recently, after over a year and a half of being unable to fulfill this request, I had a follow-up investigatory conversation with with Edouble and Miked (who have been feeding Romeo for far longer than I).  Edouble filled me in:  these squashes, for which both Edouble and Romeo have a special affinity, are commonly known as sunburst squashes.  They are small and round with scalloped tops and they are usually available only in the summer season.

More research yielded further knowledge: the pattypan squash (A.K.A. white squash/button squash/sunburst squash) comes in yellow, white, and green colors, is most tender when immature, and is often served  fried, curried, and stuffed.  It sounded delicious, and I was on a mission to make a curry with the pattypan as the M.V.I. (Most Valuable Ingredient 😉 thanx ES commenter “LC”) of the dish.

My successful search for the pattypans and the recipe for the Pattypan Vegetable Thai Curry after the jump…

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Friday Fuck Ups: Attack of the Batter

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I have no idea why, but my sister always brings out the baking in me. I guess it’s because it’s a lot harder to ship fettuccine alfredo than a chocolate goodie. (SAG – don’t be mad, but you were in Italy over your birthday so I’m pretty sure anything I sent you would have been poop comparatively.) We all know by now that it isn’t my strong point. I feel like that old relative that tells the SAME STORY every time you see her. Yes, Gansie endeavored to bake and then it got fucked up. Well, if you want to hear that same ole song again, listen up, deary.

Sherry loves white chocolate, so for her 22nd birthday I wanted to send her a homemade something featuring white chocolate. I thought about cookies again but then stumbled upon a Nigella Lawson recipe from How to be a Domestic Goddess: White Chocolate and Macadamia Brownies. Fuck nuts in brownies. I don’t want multi-textural elements in my dessert – I want smooth, fudgy goodness. So instead of nuts I subbed in regular chocolate chips. Besides that SLIGHT change, I followed the recipe PERFECTLY. I read it over many, many times before even starting. I even remembered to let the butter rise to room temperature.

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Have I Died and Gone to Heaven?

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Fake cheese flavor and classic word games in one box? Oh, hell yes. Somebody up there loves me.

(Photo: katebornstein)

PS – I just learned today that ‘foodie’ is in the Scrabble dictionary.

Is Gefilte Fish the New Bacon?

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That’s Heeb Magazine’s question, noting the oft-maligned Passover appetizer is having a bit of a foodie moment. Personally, I have to be honest. I never tried this at sedars when I was a kid — why would you eat gooey fish balls when there were fried latkes to be had? — and somehow I have managed to never come across it as an adult. It’s true — I’ve never had gefilte fish. I know, worst half-Jew ever.

Is it really as bad as people say? Or as good as those other people say? Maybe I’ll go out and buy some this Pesach. Or Maybe I’ll just catch a gefilte fish wrestling match:

(Photo: Eszter)

ES Needs a Few Good Writers

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Have you ever read Endless Simmer and thought, “I could write something better than this crap”?

Well, we’re calling your bluff.

As ES continues to expand, we’re looking to add a few new bloggers to the mix. If you’ve got something to say about food, drinks, food TV, food-like products, or really anything even remotely food-related, we’re talking to you.

The Details: As you may have noticed, we’re doing this for the love, not the money, so unfortunately there’s no pay (at least for now). But you do get the chance to put your words in front of thousands of hungry readers every day, and there might even be some free booze in it for you somewhere down the line. As you also may have noticed, you don’t need a degree from Le Cordon Bleu to write for ES. You just need to be passionate about some aspect of food, whether it’s molecular gastronomy or the best way to do whippets. Oh, and you should have:

– Something fresh, original and creative to say about food. We’re looking for a little more than “this is what I ate last night.” Does your cooking style make people laugh? Do you eat at restaurants we’ve never heard of? Are you Padma Lakshmi’s personal assistant?

– A basic understanding of blogging software, or willingness to learn (it’s not that hard).

– Good spelling, grammar and all the rest of that stuff.

If you’re up for it: Shoot us an email (info@endlesssimmer.com) and let us know what kind of posts you’d like to write for ES. If you’ve got an idea for a new column or recurring feature, that would be even better.

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