Rants & Raves -

by BS

You’re Putting Your Pickle Where???

Let the record show that in February 2012, the foodie revolution officially went too far.

Now, I can do a pickle-tini. I can do a grilled pickle.

Pickled watermelon? Pickled ramps? Pickles on the Christmas tree? Yes, yes, and hell yes. But pickles in my coffee? For seriousness? I’ve checked and checked, but it seems this is not some sort of pop-up April Fools’ Day joke. Metrocurean reports from DC:

Peregrine Espresso is pushing the sour envelope with a specialty drink now on offer, dubbed Love Potion Number Brine (above). Joining forces with new DC-based pickle company Gordy’s Pickle Jar, Peregrine created a drink that mixes Gordy’s sweet brine with espresso, milk and a little simple syrup on ice.

If they start serving this with a side of nutella pickle relish, I am retiring.

More from Metrocurean.

by ML

Burns My Bacon: Bones

I think we can all agree: meat on the bone tastes better. Or it’s more fun to eat, anyway. I know a lot of people who won’t eat meat off the bone because it reminds them it’s an animal (…what?) but I’m not one of them.

I was in Jamaica earlier this month and I noticed something. Every time I ordered meat (jerk chicken, curried goat, or chicken in brown sauce for breakfast — pictured above), I spent most of my meal picking small bones from it. I mean, bones in whole fish are sometimes inevitable (they’re just so small and hard to see), but I really don’t want to be eating bone fragments, especially when they can be sharp.

In Jamaica, it seems that to make the meat a more manageable size…they don’t take it off the bone, or even cut the bone at a place where it’d make sense (like the joint). The meat, bone and all, is just chopped up into bite size pieces. But who the hell cares if it’s bite-size if there are bone shards and shit in my food? Instead of eating meat off one, large, smooth and normally shaped bone, I’m sitting there with these little bite-size pieces of meat, and even smaller bones everywhere in them. And since there’s no rhyme or reason to the cutting, it’s impossible to predict where the bone/fat/ligament will be on each piece.

It was a scavenger hunt I never signed up to play, and after I got halfway through each bone hunt, I just gave up and ate what else was on my plate. I wasted so much food. And even if I DID spend the time picking through the bones, I just couldn’t get all the meat off that I would normally, given the sharp bone edges and fragments that were present.

Am I missing something? Is there a method to this madness? Is this a way to get people to eat less meat?

in Food Travel / Rants & Raves 2 comments

by ML

Thanks for Stealing My Idea, Federal Donuts.

I love the local Philly donut shop, Federal Donuts. I really do.

On another note, if you follow the @EndlessSimmer twitter, you know last week I was at the Krispy Kreme factory (details to come, stay tuned!) During our product development session, I made this creation:

Vanilla glaze (only because I wasn’t offered marshmallow), graham cracker crumbs, chocolate drizzle.

(Pic: Krispy Kreme)

And then five days later, Federal Donuts unveiled this on their facebook page:

In Defense of Paula Deen

I’m sure y’all have heard by now that Paula Deen has diabetes. It’s all over the news. People are pissed. I’ve seen media “correspondents” (who are these people who are allowed to throw stones all over the place?) calling her “outrageous” and demanding apologies to the public. WHAT? Why?

Know what? I’m just gonna say it. I like Paula Deen and I DON’T CARE. I don’t care that my girl Paula cooks food that is bad for her/everyone; I don’t care that she kept her diabetes a secret; I don’t care that she is now doing an endorsement deal with a diabetes pharmaceutical company.

Is a lot of her food hilariously bad for you? Sure is. Does she blatantly ignore nutritional guidelines? Yep. If you cook and eat a ton of her recipes on a regular basis, are you doing your health a disservice? You better believe it.

But guess what, Food Network viewers! The onus is on YOU! If you think Paula Deen’s recipes are unhealthy, don’t cook and eat them. If you think her lifestyle is appalling, don’t watch her show. The fact that Paula has diabetes may be linked to her eating habits, great. Frankly, her health is her business. Anthony Bourdain may say she’s “in bad taste,” but honestly, how is her admitting to diabetes and hawking meds really affecting any of us? Nobody was “betrayed” by her cooking shows, as some people have claimed. She’s never represented herself as an athletic, fit person. Paula Deen’s admission of her diagnosis doesn’t give you a free pass to eat poorly, then complain and point fingers.

Even here at Endless Simmer, we delight in writing about alarmingly extreme foods. I highly doubt any of our readers think we constantly pig out on all of our ridiculous culinary discoveries, or that we encourage anyone else to. We’re all smarter than that, right?

This is just like people who try to sue fast food companies for their health issues. Let’s take some personal responsibility, please. If you honestly think it’s okay to eat burger-stuffed doughnuts three meals a day, that is 100% your problem, not Paula Deen’s.

(image: eater.com)

in Celebs / Rants & Raves / TV 11 comments

by ML

This Looks Familiar

Folks, meet the ZestN’est.

I was sent one of these at least six months ago to review. In case you’re wondering, it’s the device on the right. It’s an “ergonomic” zester. AND it stores the zest for later use.

So here’s the deal. You zest a lemon, orange or whatever with this contraption and instead of the zest getting stuck to the back of your microplane/falling on the floor/etc, it goes into the nice little lemon shaped holder.

I’m not saying the idea isn’t good, but let’s be honest. This is a redesigned PedEgg, right?

I wanted to hate this product so badly because it looks like the thing I use for pedicures. I mean. It IS the thing I use to scrape dead skin off my feet, just redesigned with a slightly different blade. Zest storage compartment=where all of the dead skin goes in the PedEgg. Gross, right?

Sort of. I’ve always hated the regular microplane, how the zest gets stuck to the back and goes everywhere because the bowl/plate/etc is generally smaller than the foot-long microplane (and why are they that long anyway?)

The ZestN’est sat in my drawer for months before I even used it. But as the holidays came around, our forbidden love affair started to develop. I was zesting a lot of freaking fruit, and with this device, I wasn’t wasting any. None going on the counter from using a microplane over a tiny bowl.

I’ve learned my lesson. Sometimes a rebranded product IS good for something. Next time you see an infomercial and think “isn’t that just a ___?” Think again. The results could surprise you. Although I hope you’re not cooking with a Snuggie or Shake Weight any time soon.

in Rants & Raves 1 comments

by ES Guest

Point/Counterpoint: Meat vs. Plants

Editor’s Note: Longtime ES reader Thresher was moved to write a response to Amcstang’s recent thoughts on the Paleo Diet. We love us a good controversy.

Paleo Diets are one of my pet peeves. It’s such a brilliant idea at the core, but none of the popular versions of it hit at the nugget of scientific truth that should be emphasized: caloric restriction works pretty well (we evolved being very, very hungry for most of the average year) and probably is one of the few approaches to eating that will demonstrably make the average person live longer. But it’s hard to enjoy, and there aren’t many food blogs that can be built around like 1,000 calories per day.

Let me frame that rant. I had a reaction to a previous Endless Simmer post. It was on the topic of a particular type of the Paleo Diet ethos, and I couldn’t help but grit my teeth while reading it. I thought I’d offer a response, for good measure, from the perspective of the epidemiologists and biologists (etc…) who’ve been seriously studying diet and quality of life for decades.

‘Diet’ strikes many of us as a four-letter word because there are so many of them out there, each hawking a particular (amazing) benefit. “Eat only magic cookies!” “Lose 80 pounds through cheese!” “Live forever young!” As much as we tend to desire these very gratifying claims, we also roll our eyes at the commercials that brag about them because, deep down, they seem at least a little bullshitty.

So, yes, there are a lot of opinions out there on how to eat well, and it’s hard to call any of them flat-out wrong. That’s because faddish diet plans tend to focus on achieving a particular goal, in the short term, and sometimes they can achieve that goal really well. There are fad diets that will make you skinnier, bulkier, leaner, even sexier and more tan. But they’re called fads for a reason: after an initial quick success, they don’t end up doing anything good for your body in the long run (and sometimes they can do some serious damage, or at the very least make you fatter than when you started).

Forget all that. I can summarize in a couple sentences the big picture on diet and health that we pretty much know is true—from science! I swear I’ll be quick with a few facts and then we’ll get to some yummy stuff.

Finally, Easter is Here Again

Check out the massive display currently featured at my local Safeway market:

Okay, American consumerism, I get it. Christmas is over, you need to find the next holiday to shove down our throats. But really, spring is in the air? IS IT? I think not. Plus, what happened to making us feel like shit because Valentine’s Day is coming?! Nope, now we’re just on to Easter? Apparently, April is just around the corner. Better start stocking up on your Cadbury Eggs and Peeps right now.

(To be clear, I love Cadbury Eggs and Peeps, but I categorically refuse to purchase and/or eat them until actual springtime.)

in Desserts / Holiday / Rants & Raves 4 comments