How To Do Small Plates. Hint, Get Rid of the Small Plates.

I hate small plates. It’s not that I don’t like trying tons of different items, it’s the actual accumulation of all of those fucking plates all over the table. Well, sharing sucks too. (It’s something I’m working on.)

While in Copenhagen this past summer my friend, and food editor of the Broward-Palm Beach New Times, Melissa and I found Pegasus. With no English menus, we let the owner—with limited English—half describe and half order for us. We discovered Danish small plates, but instead of being served on a million little plates it was presented on stately silver platters. We ate fantastic and smoky duck sausage, creamy cheeses, zippy mustard and loads and loads of dark rye bread.

It felt like a true feast, not this itty bitty finger food dining crap that is small plates.

After we befriended the rowdy table next door—who happened to be buds with the owners—we stayed way past close and learned the shady past of the dark-haired man who brought us our food.

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Don’t Say It, Spray It

I don’t know if this is a joke or an art project or the fucking future. But I’m crossing fingers for the latter. Could you imagine a world with just a push of a finger, a spray of raisins will spring forth into the air?

(Photo: I’m just a girl in the world)

Giada De Laurentiis Suggests You Buy Her $99 14-Piece Knife Set

Raise your hand if you never want to hear the words “CYBER MONDAY” again? Holy crap. I scanned my emails yesterday and I bet every other one rolled in with a CYBER MONDAY deal. (Although I did indulge: NYT digital subscription.)

With these CYBER MONDAY specials come lists. Lots of lists from lots of famous people telling us to buy lots of crap. Take this gift guide from Giada De Laurentiis. She started a line with Target. The list is posted on Target’s blog, A Bullyseye View. Out of fifteen items De Laurentiis recommends, FOUR are from her own line.

Welcome to the spirit of giving.

(Photo: A Bullseye View)

Why This Isn’t the Best Cheese and Why That’s Important

Pepper jack lets me be lazy. I can slide this in between tortillas for instant heat and cheese. I don’t have to find a pepper or some cayenne for extra flavor. It’s all there in one slice. (This is not a cheat, but Goober PB&J totally is.)

I thought I found a similar twofer in Hillside Pastures‘ Garlic and Herb. I grabbed this raw milk cheese at the farmers market and immediately tried some once I got home. The cheese smacked of raw garlic. It was a bit sour. While the cheese maintained a soft consistency, the flavors came on strong. Melted though, the garlic flavor mellowed and the herbal flavor evened. It enlivened my fried egg and cheese with toast.

I mention this cheese not because it was the most awesome item in the world, but because it wasn’t. It reminded me that making cheese must be pretty fucking hard. I know what I’m getting every time I pick up a commercial pepper jack at the grocery store. But I bet even the next time I try Hillside’s Garlic and Herb it will taste different. The small batch will be tweaked. With every change in temperature and every variety of grass eaten by the cow, the cheese will turn into something new. And although it might not be perfect, I’m in it for the adventure.

 

Artsy Photo of the Day

You think you hate cupcakes? Not as much as this chick. She hates cupcakes so much she had one inked on her neck just to mock the sugary sweet.

[Copenhagen, 2011]

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