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Homemade Hot Sauce

Freelance writer Alicia Ranch-Traille joins ES to talk hot sauce. Very hot sauce.

You don’t quite know what makes yourself tick. As a kid, you played mad scientist with the solvents and cleansers beneath the kitchen sink. As a teenage vandal, you really got something out of chemistry class: a temporary record down at the police station. In college, you jumped out of a plane because the sky would win if you didn’t, and you once made a resume that listed only your bodily scars. As an adult, you’re either the dude who sets his head on fire at a bar and makes the national news, or you’re someone for whom ingesting the world’s hottest sauces and peppers is an extracurricular pursuit.

Or maybe both. It’s a fine line. There’s a way out of this hole, man. It’s time to bottle and sell your pain. You need to make your own hot sauce.

Hot Sauce: A Truly Hot Commodity

Hot sauce isn’t just for men, of course. It’s just that guys have built a whole subculture around it, a close cousin of the microbrew movement. Americans love hot sauce, and the fact that it’s one of the top-10 growth industries in the U.S. right now proves it. By 2017, according to an IBISWorld report, hot sauce is expected to be a $1.3 billion industry, and the movement is already well underway. Just take a look at all the chilihead resources that have popped up in recent years. Austin has a store devoted just to hot sauce. You can get lost in the Hot Sauce Blog for hours, and certain people are obsessed with Sriracha.

What this means for the home chili pepper enthusiast is simple. There’s a market for that thing you love, and you should consider getting in. Unfortunately, chiliheads—being reckless and impulsive by nature—tend to be both rule-averse and unsystematic. That’s no way to learn cooking. “Trial and error” doesn’t mean throwing a bunch of stuff together at random, you know. You can’t see your variables that way. It’s not scientific.

Getting Started

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by ES Guest

Best Use of Biscuits: Strawberry Shortcupcakes

It was sweltering in southern Minnesota, 98 degrees Fahrenheit with fifty percent humidity. I was put in charge of bringing dessert to a Fourth of July barbeque held by my best friend, his weirdo roommates and a handful of townies that I could never decide if I even liked, yet constantly yearned for their acceptance. Red white and blue cake seemed too obvious. Jell-O cake too lowbrow. I toyed with the idea of making lemonade cake, but quickly decided that would be a sticky mess in the July heat.

What could be more quintessentially American or summer than strawberry shortcake? I started pulling ingredients out of my cupboard and refrigerator. I sprayed a no-stick baking spray on some cupcake pans and quickly set to work mixing the ingredients for the shortcake biscuits. After baking, I removed the biscuits from the cupcake pans and let them cool on a rack. While the biscuits were cooling, I sliced some strawberries and set out to whip up some cream.

When I went to add powdered sugar to my chilled heavy whipping cream, I noticed that the container was crawling with ants—but not just any ants, SUPER ants. These were the ants that give you nightmares. The ones you envision carrying off an entire human body to their underground home. Then I realized they weren’t exactly moving. Did they suffocate in powdered sugar? If there was such a lack of oxygen, how did they even get inside the container? Were they smaller before gorging themselves to death on powdery confection? Did they OD on this fine, white, powdery substance?

I pulled myself together, calmed by the fact that they didn’t seem to be moving, and considered my next move.

by ES Guest

Don’t Blow the Entrance

Editor’s Note: Jody Melto, who has previously brought ES news of lemon cupcakes and Chinese balls, returns to share some very Simmer-y tips about how to survive summer party season.

Summer time is party time. Whether you’re going to a backyard cookout, lazy porch fest or rooftop soiree, don’t just show up and eat chips. Anyone can do that. Be special. Make an Entrance. Arrive.

Following these six tips will secure a place for you in the happy collective party memory, as well as guarantee future invitations tovother great parties.

Tip #1 Get invited to a great party. This is key. If you weren’t invited, bring it up to the host in such a way that he has no choice bbut to invite you. Make it really uncomfortable. Shaming someone into an invitation is only risky if you embarrass yourself later at the party. Like getting drunk and singing with the mariachi band.

Tip #2 Invite an entourage. Nothing says “I matter” like a group trailing behind you. And to really pollute your work-life environment,make one an intern at your new job and the other her roommate who is a complete stranger to you. That unpredictable X Factor. Also, bringing some party crashers says to the host, “Look! I’m so comfortable inviting myself, I brought others!” Confidence is attractive.

Tip #3 If you bring party crashers, make them unique. In my case, my entourage/unsuspecting party crashers are two lovely Chinese women who have only been in the States for a year. To add a layer of cultural awkwardness. Luckily “party crasher” doesn’t translate well. In Chinese it literally means, “confuse the water with ink and fish.” Which, I think, speaks for itself.

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by ES Guest

The Top 10 Craziest Street Foods in the World

Editor’s Note: This article is brought to you by Rease Kirchner of TheFlyingFugu.com, a team of foodie writers delivering a menu of delights to your inbox: daring delicacies, foodie travel tips and easy recipes to re-create in your own world kitchen. Follow the Fugu on Twitter @TheFlyingFugu.

For our money, we’d say street food is usually just as delicious as fancier restaurant fare (if not more so). And we’re not just talking about sandwiches and hot dogs. Take a look at the ten wackiest street food finds from around the globe — each one actually a very common find in one particular corner of the earth.

10. Fruit with Chili Powder — Mexico

You may think it’s odd to put something spicy on something sweet, but Mexicans do it all the time. It is very common to pick up fruit in a bowl or on a stick with some spicy chili powder sprinkled on top. Think of it as a twist on the sweet and salty combo — Mexico has sweet and spicy instead! (Photo: Spotreporting)

9. Chicken Feet — China

These grilled feet may look disturbingly similar to a human hand, but don’t worry, they actually come from a chicken. The meat is described as a bit chewier than a chicken leg might be. On the street, they are generally served grilled with some spices, on a stick or just in a basket. (Photo: Whologwhy)

8. Bugs on a Stick — Thailand

In Thailand,insects like crickets, grasshoppers and worms are fried up, shoved on a stick and served up to anyone with a rumbling tummy. The taste varies by the insect and the spices used to flavor them. In general, the insects are crunchy on the outside and a little soft on the inside. Mmm…soft and flavorful bug guts. (Photo: Star5112)

in Featured / Fish / Food Travel / Fowl / Lists / Sandwich / Top 10 Lists 3 comments

by ES Guest

How to Make Cookies in a Waffle Iron

Editor’s Note: We here at ES are big fans of the movement to cook all foods inside a waffle iron, so we’re happy to have Matt from WaffleMakers.net join us this week to talk about an important new development: waffle cookies.

What is better than cookies? Really, think about it…The answer, of course, is giant cookies.

So why else would you want to make cookies in a waffle maker? First of all, it is incredibly quick (anywhere from 2 to 4 minutes). Secondly, while the taste of the cookies isn’t remarkably different, the texture is completely transformed. Instead of being crunchy the whole way through, waffle cookies have a crispy shell with a soft, doughy inner. Real melt-in-your-mouth stuff. Lastly, unlike regular cookies, waffle cookies have the pockets and gullies that a waffle would have, which is perfect for spooning in generous amounts of whipped cream or any other topping you might fancy.

Any more questions?

Waffle Iron Cookies

in Desserts / Featured / Recipe 9 comments

by ES Guest

No Flip-Flopping: The Perfect Waffle

Editor’s Note: Lisa Fox, owner of FINO restaurant in Austin and blogger at For The Love of Food, shares this recipe for FINO’s perfect waffles. The secret: yeast, proofed overnight, for a waffle that is perfectly crispy on the outside, light and airy inside, and full of flavor all around.

Goodnight Waffles

The night before:

Combine and let stand 10 minutes…
½ cup warm water
1 tablespoon sugar
1 packet active dry yeast

Stir in…
2 cups warm whole milk
½ cup melted butter
1 teaspoon salt

Beat in 2 cups flour until smooth…

Wrap bowl tightly with plastic wrap, let stand out on the counter overnight.

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by ES Guest

Feeding the Dragon: Yunnan Potato Balls with Spicy Dipping Sauce

Editor’s Note: A Chinese teacher/translator and writer living in Washington, D.C., Jody Melto of Curlicue Chronicles joins us for a tasty trek through China…

At first glance, I didn’t want to like Feeding the Dragon, the recently published travelogue/cookbook on China. First of all, there are the names of the co-authors, sister and brother duo Mary Kate and Nate Tate. But that’s not their fault.

However, young Mary Kate Tate asking in the introduction, “How can we record each person’s story, taste every dish? Have we bitten off more than we can chew?” is quite their fault. It reeks of a Julie & Julia attempt. I bet The Two Tates have talked about just playing themselves when the cookbook is optioned. Now I’m just being snarky. I did that with Julie & Julia, come to think about it.

At least my snark has backstory. I spent the first part of my 20s living in a small Chinese town as a student on scholarship, working as a teacher, model and even as an actress in some really bad television shows and one martial arts film to earn enough money to travel over 250 hard-seat hours by train throughout China. No credit card. No cell phone. No parents footing the bill. Pretty hardcore travel. Who can blame me for being snarky when it comes to a couple young hipsters who claim to have roughed it through China on a quest to “taste every dish?”

Just when I’m feeling quite smug, Mary Kate & Nate Tate (I just love saying that) do something that impresses the hell out of me — they admit to eating dog. They weren’t ballsy enough to include a recipe calling for dog meat. But I give credit when it’s due. And that took balls. I’ve killed the mood at more than one dinner party after raving about doggie dumplings. (Dog people can be so freakin’ sensitive.)

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