May 2010


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Burns My Bacon: Stop the Music

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Memo to all restaurant owners: In my line of work/leisure I visit a lot of restaurant and bar websites, and I just do not understand why so, so many of you view this brief, virtual interaction as an opportunity to share a sampling of your preferred musical tastes with me. It’s unnecessary. It’s distracting. It has nothing to do with food.

If I’m visiting your website, chances are I’m there to do one of three things: 1) Look at the menu, 2) Find out the address, or 3) Make a reservation. That’s it. I do not need some sort of visceral, subconscious encouragement that you really are the restaurant for me. I certainly do not need a primer on the music of whatever country’s food you specialize in. That cheesy Italian tune is not going to make me any more likely to visit your trattoria. The hum of a mariachi band will not push me towards a Mexican spot. I don’t care if your establishment is owned by Hova himself — you don’t need to prove it!

Do you really think you are getting more customers this way? Trust me — you’re not. If anything you’re only causing a large percentage of them to frantically close the browser window before their bosses hear that thumping background music and realize they’re not working. And do not try to tell me it’s OK because you have a tiny off button hidden down on the bottom of the page below your site credits. No. Just stop. All of you. Please.

And don’t even get me started on flash animation.

Feed Us Back: What’s the worst restaurant website music you’ve ever heard?

in Personal / Rants & Raves / Restaurants 6 comments
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The 1-2-3s of Veggies

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“What are you watching?” my sister asked as I painted my nails sitting on the carpet of my parents’ living room floor.

“Stay,” I said, “Mom saved the Oprah with Michael Pollan. He’s the dude who wrote the book that I’m making dad read.”

And that’s all it took.

My sister watched in horror as chickens, so burdened, so physically burdened, with the weight of their unnaturally large breasts, that they could only crank out a few steps before collapsing. She stopped eating meat after that. It’s been just over a month now. And she has no idea what to eat.

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in Personal / Trends / Veggie 4 comments
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Alice Waters Says…Eat Your (Organic) Garlic

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Our friends over at Good Bite have an interview this week with Alice Waters, locavore extraordinaire, author of the new book In the Green Kitchen: Techniques to Learn by Heart, and all-around culinary superhero.

What ingredient does the average home cook need to make more use of these days?
Garlic – it’s the spice of life. It’s something you can’t ignore. Its presence makes a really big difference in the taste of food. And it’s of course, very very good for you.

What do you tell all the grocery store shoppers out there that are still buying the pre-chopped and diced garlic?
It’s a whole other world — that’s not garlic for me. Because garlic is something that changes very quickly, in the presence of oxygen, when it’s opened up, and exposed to the air, the flavor changes. And so, you need to cut it, and use it right away. Peel it, and use it.

Now, again, going back to the standard grocery store shopper. Being forced to choose between organic or local — if they have to choose, what do they do?
Well, I want both. And so I make a point of going to the farmers market, and if I’m at the supermarket, I go right to the produce director in the back, and say, where did this food come from? Where was it grown? When did it come into your store? Can I get it locally and organically? I think that the big markets want to sell, and if you say that you’re ready to buy, they’re interested.

What should every home cook go home and learn to do right now?
Make a vinaigrette for a salad. Just A simple little salad dressing. Rub that garlic in the bottom of the bowl, use a little vinegar and olive oil and you can make a salad.

More AW, on farmers’ markets, school lunch, and cooking tips, over at Good Bite.

in Celebs 0 comments
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Texas Tuesdays, Part II: Who You Callin’ Trailer Trash?

photos: Matthew Wexler

Photos: Matthew Wexler

I like to sit down at a proper table when I eat. And after closing the door on fifteen years in the restaurant industry, I like to be served. Sometimes I feel the phantom pain in my side when I see a defeated waiter struggling to get through a shift—but for the most part, I’m just happy it’s not me. So the thought of traipsing through sweltering downtown Austin like my ancestors crossing the Egyptian desert with matzoh in their pants made me wary. I imagined when I set off on a food trailer crawl that I might be disappointed with greasy funnel cakes and toxic yellow lemonade. And where would I pee? What I stumbled upon is an entire subculture of dedicated food artisans leaving their tire tracks all over town.

photos: Matthew Wexler

photos: Matthew Wexler

Chasing Chi’Lantro

One of the newest additions to the food trailer scene is Chi’Lantro, a name derived from two cultural staples: kimchi and cilantro. The fusion of Korean and Mexican food had me all a Twitter, which is a good thing because it’s the only way you can track this trailer down. With locations that vary like the changing winds, I have to credit a friend’s i-phone for my spicy pork taco with Korean soy vinaigrette salad and salsa roja. I can’t get too attached though, as this newcomer is already revamping their menu along with their ever-changing locale.

Holding the Torch

Torchy’s Tacos is a benchmark of Austin’s food trailer scene. They are “living the taco dream” by serving up an array of tortilla-stuffed concoctions—from classic breakfast tacos to more daring fare like The Brushfire, filled with Jamaican jerk chicken, grilled jalapeños and diablo sauce. Founder and Executive Chef Michael Rypka mortgaged his house and maxed out a couple of credits cards in pursuit of the perfect taco. And it’s paid off. The homemade salsas were a knockout, and I have to give the guy a hats off for continuing to locally source the majority of their products and meats.

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in Food Travel / Trends 5 comments
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How Not to Eat Ice Cream Every 15 Minutes

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I woke up and kept my pajamas on. I peed. Didn’t brush my teeth. Started the computer and scanned work emails. I thought about how much energy it would take to boil water for my french press coffee. I decided against that task. I checked more emails and then let the IT dude in. He was sweating. It was gross. But I let him into my bedroom anyway. He left an hour and a half later and there it was. My new virtual office. In my bedroom.

I am now a full time virtual worker. In an effort to save money and save the environment, okay, really save money, we’ve gotten rid of our downtown DC offices and instead will advocate for working women within our respective bedrooms. Or however my coworkers have set up their offices.

What makes me really excited about this development is not just the ability to remain in a tshirt and sweats all day, but to create real time lunches. I will never again have to figure out the next day’s meal the night before. I could actually probably throw out half my tupperware collection. Although I probably won’t because I have an addiction to things.

Anyway, lunch was great today. I warmed up leftovers from last night’s dinner, potato, greens and ricotta broiler eggs, and juggled it on top of a pocketless pita schmeared with sun dried tomato cream cheese.

Real quick.

Fucking A. So when 80 and I were trying to get the hell out of NYC on Sunday—which took, I shit you not, an hour and a half, mostly because of this bullshit bicycle thing in all 25 boroughs and then the fact that we thought instead of leaving directly from Manhattan to one of the tunnels we worked our way into Brooklyn to try to jump on the BQE and yes, BS, I called you but maybe you weren’t back from Sri Lanka yet—we found an awesome bagel place.

Shocking it is not.

But I know bagels. Okay. I know bagels. And these were maybe the best bagels I’ve ever had. Soft and chewy and large. Full and lush. Lots of soft interior.

After about an hour of driving around NYC (and staring opening mouthed at the Hasidic Jews—they all wear the same clothes, it’s crazy) I begged 80 to stop for breakfast. We decided whatever we saw first–bagels or pizza–we’d jump out and grab it for the road. And actually, we saw a pizza place first but it was still closed (as it was only 11am) so luckily Brownstone Bagel & Bread Co was right across the street.  We both got egg sandwiches (real egg!) on bagels and I also got another bagel for the road.

I let 80 pick one of their in-house “whipped” cream cheeses to go and he selected sun dried tomato. He hates tomatoes.

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in Breakfast / Personal / Trends 14 comments
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Coffee…Now More Expensive Than Lunch

Those of you (us) who kvetch about spending $12 on a cocktail or a glass of wine have a new crazy drink to get worked up about. Brooklyn, NY now offers a gourmet cup of coffee that goes for $12.

W. T. F.

The NY Post reports…

Previously: NYC Travel Guides for Liquid Elitists

in Drinks 0 comments
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Small Counter Dwelling Appliance Comes to Rescue

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80 and I spent an unfortunate—yet joyous and drunk—less than 24 hours in New York City this past weekend. Unfortunate because of the lack of time in the city and joyous because of our friends’ wedding. Usually whenever we get the chance to visit we extend the stay in this city to the north but with 80’s last exam on Monday night before he graduates on Sunday, we had to get in and out so he could concentrate on macro economics. (And if anyone has any graduation gift ideas – let me know!)

Because we left early Saturday from DC and didn’t get to check out the inaugural opening for the year’s Mt. P far mar and then we got back too late to hit up any of the Sunday markets I was left with a fridge full of last weeks’ purchases for Sunday’s dinner. 80 invited a classmate over for a study session so I was charged with figuring out dinner. Of course it revolved around eggs.

So my new favorite way to incorporate lots of veggies and other ingredients into eggs is to first cook all of the other ingredients, then pour whisked egg over top and throw it under the broiler.

I recently resolved Passover’s matzoh dilemma when I incorporated the stale cracker into an omelet with swiss cheese, garlic and greens. The problem though is the quickness in which an egg cooks and an egg overcooks.

My parents’ kitchen is perfect. Stainless steel perfection. Except for one thing: the broiler.

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in Breakfast / Cheese / Eggs / Recipe / Veggie 2 comments
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