How Not to Eat Ice Cream Every 15 Minutes


I woke up and kept my pajamas on. I peed. Didn’t brush my teeth. Started the computer and scanned work emails. I thought about how much energy it would take to boil water for my french press coffee. I decided against that task. I checked more emails and then let the IT dude in. He was sweating. It was gross. But I let him into my bedroom anyway. He left an hour and a half later and there it was. My new virtual office. In my bedroom.

I am now a full time virtual worker. In an effort to save money and save the environment, okay, really save money, we’ve gotten rid of our downtown DC offices and instead will advocate for working women within our respective bedrooms. Or however my coworkers have set up their offices.

What makes me really excited about this development is not just the ability to remain in a tshirt and sweats all day, but to create real time lunches. I will never again have to figure out the next day’s meal the night before. I could actually probably throw out half my tupperware collection. Although I probably won’t because I have an addiction to things.

Anyway, lunch was great today. I warmed up leftovers from last night’s dinner, potato, greens and ricotta broiler eggs, and juggled it on top of a pocketless pita schmeared with sun dried tomato cream cheese.

Real quick.

Fucking A. So when 80 and I were trying to get the hell out of NYC on Sunday—which took, I shit you not, an hour and a half, mostly because of this bullshit bicycle thing in all 25 boroughs and then the fact that we thought instead of leaving directly from Manhattan to one of the tunnels we worked our way into Brooklyn to try to jump on the BQE and yes, BS, I called you but maybe you weren’t back from Sri Lanka yet—we found an awesome bagel place.

Shocking it is not.

But I know bagels. Okay. I know bagels. And these were maybe the best bagels I’ve ever had. Soft and chewy and large. Full and lush. Lots of soft interior.

After about an hour of driving around NYC (and staring opening mouthed at the Hasidic Jews—they all wear the same clothes, it’s crazy) I begged 80 to stop for breakfast. We decided whatever we saw first–bagels or pizza–we’d jump out and grab it for the road. And actually, we saw a pizza place first but it was still closed (as it was only 11am) so luckily Brownstone Bagel & Bread Co was right across the street.  We both got egg sandwiches (real egg!) on bagels and I also got another bagel for the road.

I let 80 pick one of their in-house “whipped” cream cheeses to go and he selected sun dried tomato. He hates tomatoes.

I love tomatoes but have never been a fan of sun dried tomato cream cheese. I was wrong. I know that now. It’s fantastic.

Anyway. The real point of this post is going virtual. Being home ALL DAY. Being >>thisclose<< to a fridge full of snacks.

I need help. I need tips. I need to figure out how not to eat ice cream every fifteen minutes. I know this blog is all about eating. Not about not eating. So I apologize. But if you all have any tips for a new virtual worker. I’m ready for suggestions.

Oh, and I did end up brushing my teeth. At 2:30 pm.

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  • jenny May 4, 2010  

    i suggest not leaving anything, ANYTHING, within reach of your bed. or arms. maybe something annoying to crack and eat, like unshelled peanuts, because you’ll have to concentrate not to get the little cracked bits of shell when you eat them, which means you can’t inhale the bag in 30 minutes.

    given that getting out of bed for coffee and teeth-brushing was a hassle, getting up to get something cold out of the freezer that you can’t exactly hold without your hands going numb and that may melt if you ignore it for too long shouldn’t be that tempting. think of how much work it is. it’s almost more annoying than the peanut shell bits stuck to your tongue.


  • BS May 4, 2010  

    welcome to the no-pants club!!
    The very best part is that you’re free of the horrors of having to heat up your lunch in the microwave every day. I make EVERYTHING on the stove. Heating up leftovers, grilling a sandwich, whatever – it’s always gonna be better if you fry it up in some oil rather than wave it.
    I had to make myself stop buying ice cream altogether – it was the only to not go in for “just a bite” about 42 times daily.

  • annie May 4, 2010  

    I second BS’s comment on doing everything (heh heh) on the stove. the hard part for me then is to not snack on fatty nuts and cheese while I’m waiting for my food to cook.

    and in the interest of writing about food rather than not-food, you could keep a food journal. not the obsession-about-calories omg-I’m-a-pig kind, but a simple notepad where you jot down your meals/snacks. this helps me stay mindful about what I’m eating throughout the day.

  • erica May 4, 2010  

    the only way i can do it is simply not snacking. ever. otherwise, i blow up like a balloon. true story. then again, i’m soooo not good at moderation, i kind of have to do everything all-or-nothing.

  • Britannia May 4, 2010  

    Are you not going to miss the lunch options that downtown has to offer, granted, DC is limited but it still offers you the interaction with restaurants and eateries?

    Will you give yourself time, perhaps once a week to head out for lunch, perhaps seek out places in your neighbourhood you wouldn’t normally?

  • scott May 4, 2010  

    Gans you get that ice cream out of the freezer stat or you are fuct

  • Summer May 4, 2010  

    I’ve worked from home for more than a dozen years, and have fought hard to maintain a small pants size for all that time, so I do have a few tips.

    First of all, for the love of all that’s right in the world, do NOT skip the coffee! Coffee is a natural appetite depressant. The more coffee you drink, the less you will eat.

    If ice cream is your food Kryptonite, don’t buy it regularly. I’m lactose intolerant, personally, so for me I need to limit my exposure to doughnuts and chips. If they’re in the house, I’ll eat them. If they’re not, I’m far less likely to actually leave the house in search of them.

    Have healthy lunch items on hand. Dinner leftovers, big salads, fish, whatever. Try to have something easy and quick to prepare, so you won’t eat everything that’s not nailed down while you’re waiting for your food to cook.

    Try not to eat at your desk. Even if you’re at home, you deserve a real lunch break. Go sit at the table to eat. This will also discourage mindless snacking.

    If you get bored or frustrated and need a 10 minute break, realize you have many other options rather than snacking. Wash some dishes, fold some laundry, sweep the floor.

    Then drink more coffee. Trust me, it works.

  • Mariah Carey May 5, 2010  

    Lord help 80…and you…if you are in those pajamas all day – not a pretty sight (TRUST ME people – CROCS are involved). Do yourself a favor and waltz over to Fredricks of Hollywood…before you get dumped….actually, this may work out to my advantage come August move-time when I’m searching for a roommate.

  • westcoast May 5, 2010  

    You should probably not have salted caramel ice cream around.

  • 80 Proof May 6, 2010  

    I’m all for biking, but it was really really frustrating leaving NYC. We tried to hit the Holland Tunnel, but 6th Ave was shut down. We managed to re-route ourselves to the Williamsburg Bridge, hoping to get on the BQE. No dice, entrances blocked off. Circled around the most Jewish neighborhood for 15 mins, found a open entrance ramp. Got on the BQE, all is good right? WRONG. BQE shut down for bike tour a mile after we got on. Must exit back into Brooklyn. Drive down 4th avenue for about 20 mins. Finally manage to get back on BQE.

    Thank God for those bagels.

  • BS May 11, 2010  

    Another important point: somedays I don’t eat dinner because I realize it’s 8:20 and I’ve basically been snacking non-stop since lunch. oh well.

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