The Most Offensive “Brownies” Ever

I was at Target last week and I found something that everyone needs!

And by “everyone” I mean “no one.”

Let’s work through this…

Making brownies is pretty easy. Flour, egg, cocoa powder, sugar, etc, etc. But nope, that was too hard for us. So we made brownie mix. Just dump the powder into a bowl and add oil, egg, and water. You thought it couldn’t get any more simple, but no! You were wrong. Because now we have a plastic jug that looks like laundry detergent, but it’s full of weird fake brownie potion that you just fill with water and squirt into a pan. NO!

Come on, guys. This is cheating at its absolute worst. Just make delicious homemade brownies instead. It might take a slight bit more effort (hell, breathing takes more effort than that jug o’ mix) but it will be worth your precious time. I promise.

Giada De Laurentiis Suggests You Buy Her $99 14-Piece Knife Set

Raise your hand if you never want to hear the words “CYBER MONDAY” again? Holy crap. I scanned my emails yesterday and I bet every other one rolled in with a CYBER MONDAY deal. (Although I did indulge: NYT digital subscription.)

With these CYBER MONDAY specials come lists. Lots of lists from lots of famous people telling us to buy lots of crap. Take this gift guide from Giada De Laurentiis. She started a line with Target. The list is posted on Target’s blog, A Bullyseye View. Out of fifteen items De Laurentiis recommends, FOUR are from her own line.

Welcome to the spirit of giving.

(Photo: A Bullseye View)