Okay, it’s October, can we plllllease talk about the Candy Corn Oreos? I know the Internet already went (and is still going) bonkers over this questionable product when it was released a few weeks ago, but I’m sorry, that was in mid-September and I WAS NOT READY. Now that we’re officially in Halloween territory, I’ve decided it’s Candy Corn Oreos’ time to shine.
Here are some facts about this magical monstrosity of the cookie world:
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I couldn’t close out this ice cream series with including one of my favorites, pumpkin.
Pumpkins start showing up at the farm stands by me around the first week of September, and I cannot resist the urge to pick up a few pie pumpkins and roast them. If you’re down for roasting your own pumpkins and making puree, here is an easy tutorial. Make sure you puree it until very smooth; the ice cream is unforgiving to stringy pumpkin puree. Otherwise, canned pumpkin works perfectly. Scoop yourself a big waffle cone of this and pop in The Nightmare Before Christmas for a perfect (in my opinion) end to the day.
Please thank the good folks of Blessed Birth Doula Services for their creative, slightly horrifying, but very on-trend, Halloween contribution: a pumpkin home birth.
Now go on, try to get back to work.
(Photo: Blessed Birth Doula Services)
Everyone knows that Halloween is the most exhilarating time of year. Staying out late, dressing up in fun costumes and the ultimate excitement: free candy!
But a dark shadow is cast over these golden memories…every year, without fail, there are a few houses that just don’t GET IT. Somehow people are still handing out disappointing, bland, or downright gross “treats.”
10. Good & Plenty
Let’s just get this obvious one out of the way. Who likes black licorice? Nobody. Especially not kids. It tastes like gasoline, barf, trash and moldy sugar all melted together. Good & Plenty should be called “Bad & Too Much” because any amount of black licorice is too much to handle.
(Photo: Wikipedia)
9. Dots
Weird texture, weird taste, vaguely medicinal. Where’s the appeal? Tropical Dots were marginally better, but still fall in the category of “vast childhood disappointment.”
(Photo: candy.com)
Wait, wait, wait. Let’s get one thing straight. Coconut is fantastic. Chocolate is a no-brainer, especially on Halloween. So why have we included Mounds on this list of shame? Because why on earth would you dole out Mounds when Almond Joys are on the table? Almond versus no almond? Almonds are delicious! Don’t deny any child this simple pleasure.
(Photo: candydirect.com)
Payday suffers the same affliction as Mounds. Peanuts, fine. Caramel, fine. But when there are myriad candy bars out there that have peanuts and caramel covered in chocolate, why would you neglect that?! You are not a real candy bar!!!
(Photo: candydirect.com)
(Photo: thelittlesweetshop.com)
Let’s just be honest. These are the little turds of the candy world. You may not hate Tootsie Rolls, but do some soul-searching. Do you love them? Are you excited to see someone carelessly toss a handful of these into your trick-or-treat bag? Hell no.
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Here at ES, we like to do things a little differently. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but you at least have to give us points for trying. So when someone questioned the pumpkin’s dominance as the Halloween carving medium, I saw a potential avenue for exploration. And let me tell you, now that I’ve been down that road, I may never go back. Carving a pepper was faster, easier and way less mess than a pumpkin. Heck, I did most of it while waiting in the car for a friend.
Here’s what you’ll need:
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Halloween is always fun, but eventually you reach an age when candy alone just isn’t exciting enough anymore. And that’s when you start getting creative.
What’s better than a candy bar? A candy bar inside a chocolate brownie.
Recipe: Recipe Girl
The caramel, peanut-y goodness of America’s favorite candy bar, re-imagined as a cupcake.
Recipe: Annie’s Eats
Our own Bakers Royale dreamed up this pretzel-butterfinger-chocolate concoction.
Recipe: Bakers Royale
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We figured since it’s candy month, it is time to get shaking and turn some candy into, what else…a poptail!
We’ve scientifically dissected the Three Musketeers bar and broken down its nugget-y component. After pouring over our notes, we got mixing and testing with one shot after another and another…and, another.
Finally passing muster in our test kitchen, may we present a Halloween candy-cocktail-on-a-stick that is most definitely not for youngsters.