Top 10 Foods Only a Baby Could Love

Around here, we love top 10 lists.  I particularly enjoyed Jessica’s Top Ten Things I Ate in College That I’ll Never Eat Again.  It brought back some fond memories and the taste of stomach acid.  I might also add the Ramen sandwich and instant apple cider made with dorm room sink water.  But it’s been ten years since I entered that freshman dorm, and life as a parent has taken me to some new culinary lows.  So, here we go…the top 10 foods only a baby (or maybe a toddler) could love:

10. Single-Grain Cereal

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As a child, my mom tried to sell me on the virtues of a strange paste called Cocoa Wheats, sometimes singing the jingle as she stirred the gluey concoction on the stove.   Even at the tender age of 8, I knew that stuff was nasty.  And yet, we are told to give it to babies as their first food because it’s “highly digestible”  and has a “smooth texture.” I think we’ve only succeeded this long because they can’t talk back.  Just a warning, parents, they get over it pretty quickly and you’ll be stuck with a box of the stuff for months or years to come.

9.  Pureed Vegetables

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All the texture of rice cereal, plus the power to stain any and all surfaces they touch — liquified veggies are truly abhorrent.  Since we waited until Elijah was six months old to give him solid foods, the mushy green paste period was mercifully short.  We never tried the jarred meat, so I can only imagine the horror.  And the smell.

I have been to a few restaurants lately where super-smooth vegetable mush was passed off as “sauce.”  Nope.  I’m on to you.  Gerber has a stake in this somewhere.

8. Food Off the Floor

Now, before you go and call me a snob, know that I am not talking about the 5-second rule, or even the 30-second rule.  I am talking about days-old, dried up, stuck-to-the-floor old food.  My son was never big on putting foreign objects into his mouth, but if it is, or once was, food — look out.  On the upside, I will say that my sweeping standards are dramatically higher as a result.

Read More
Sponsored Content

Endless Poptails: White Sangria Poptail

 

While many of us are basting in our own sweat, retailers are already pushing us into fall. Uh, no. We refuse to go there. Fall means holiday time and we just aren’t ready for the madness that ensues.

Let’s stay focused here: Summer. Vacations. Poptails. That’s where it’s at.

Join us with our bit of summer persuasion with these white sangria poptails. We kept things light by going white instead of red and used a Pinot Grigio for the main body.  Toss in a few nectarines and grapes with some Triple sec and summer playtime is where it should be.

White Sangria Poptail

Read More
Sponsored Content

Plate It or Hate It

Recent food world discoveries the ES crew is loving and hating…

Plate It: Grapesicles

Frozen grapes on a stick. The most perfectly simple summer cooler ever. Bonus points for the bed of frozen melon balls.  (Little Ladies Who Lunch, via fuck yeah my health).

Hate It: Cake Pops

We’re all about cute, but there’s just no need. Why would anyone take a tender cake and turn it into a round mass of gumminess? Then take that disgusting bit and dip it in candy melts? Candy melts are about as tasty as candle wax. Please, just let us eat cake.  (Photo: Mimsen)

Plate It: Food Duels

 

Read More
Sponsored Content