A Finger-Lickin’ Read

Some people love cooking, and some people love reading romance novels. Some people love both, and boy, they are in luck today, because I’ve found a genre of  literature I never realized existed: the culinary romance!

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, I received a copy of Scrumptious, by Amanda Usen, and I was like “Hmmm… alright.” Romance novels are not my thing. They always remind me of the guidance counselor from 10 Things I Hate About You.  Nevertheless, I plowed through. Upon devouring this book, I decided, okay, romance novels are still not really for me, but I can’t say I wasn’t entertained. Here’s a small selection of my favorite passages:

The white beans in his saute pan were thick and gloppy. He checked the flame under the pan. Not hot enough. The opposite of the problem he was having with Marlene.

Man’s best friend is a dog, but woman’s best friend is a vibrator.

“Latex?”
“Not in my eggs. Otherwise, all set.”
“Egg-cellent.”

There really is something for everyone in the food world. I prefer Anthony Bourdain’s memoirs, but if you are in the mood to read 314 pages of foodie puns, romance scenes and happy endings, make a date with Scrumptious.

(Image: Sourcebooks)

ES Haiku

standing in the yard
small hands hold giant slices
juice drips in the grass

I came across this cute little haiku the other day on Garden Path. It was a brief, nostalgic take on the ultimate summer fruit: watermelon. This led to a search of haiku meme and a few minutes looking at various haiku attempts by people all over the web. Most of the haikus I came across were simple and sweet, though I  came across some snarky ones on Twitter called #twaiku. One of my favorite examples was by Twitter User MJ:

Black socks being shown/at the 4 seasons cafe/pure class man. Pure class.

These cheeky twaikus were more my style and so I decided to try a few of my own that were a little more appropriate for ES:

 

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An Ode to a Clear Kitchen

It’s hard for me to say anything but “NO” when I see this gadget. How could there be anything more unnecessary than a banana slicer?

We pack our lives with things and stuff. And things and stuff. And things and stuff. The kitchen is the recipient of many of our purchases, from the crucial cast iron pot to the you’ll-use-it-once Dough-Nu-Matic Automatic Dougnut Machine. I scroll through friends’ wedding registries knowing the happy couple will never use half the knives in their over-priced set. And of course that famed waffle maker will never leave its box. Maybe for their first anniversary, a cute breakfast-in-bed, but then it will lead a lonely life in the corner of a dark closet.

And then there’s this fucking thing. This Bananza. Calling to our desire for a quick fix. For an easy way out. This device won’t help you eat more bananas. It won’t help you lose weight. You’ll realize this device isn’t any easier than using a knife. This device will clog up your drawer just like the avocado slicer and pitter. This device will remind you that stuff is just stuff. And more stuff doesn’t create anything but a mess.

And no, my lovely boyfriend, this doesn’t mean I won’t come home from my trip to Seattle without more items to fill the kitchen. I just bought apple smoked fleur de seul, in fact. But I thought writing this ode to a clear kitchen might ease the pain of new friends coming back with me.

Beka, You Had Me At Heavy Stainless Steel

filled crepe

Crêpes will always be one of my everlasting French food memories. I had been addicted to stopping at the Strasbourg Marché de Noël after school to get a crêpe filled with Nutella and some vin chaud. To be sure, it’s quite difficult to avoid the Christmas market as it has taken over the entire city of Strasbourg in November and December since the year 1570 with miles of gifts, drinks, and gosh darn delicious food. Um, French women don’t get fat, right?

Despite stuffing crêpes, eclairs, croissants, chocolates, and cream sauces into my face (stopping just short of bathing in butter), I somehow returned home to America from my studies abroad lighter than when I had left. Think about that for a moment.

Given all of the crêpe gorging studying that I had done in France, I thought I would be as qualified as anyone to review a crêpe pan.

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Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

staub coqvin vs. le creuset braiser

Most of the chatter this week was concentrated in forkitude‘s Ode to Staub:

This thing was a culinary tool workhorse. A Clydesdale of cookware. The creme de la creme of enameled cast iron.

However, not everyone is on team Staub.

Brit showed off his Le Creuset collection:

I’m the proud owner of a Le Creuset grill pan and press, 7.25qt dutch oven, 2.25qt saucier and a 3.5qt casserole all in black with stainless steal knobs and I couldn’t be happier (I didn’t need to list them all but I thought I’d make you weep).

BS’s Mom showed off Le Creuset’s longevity:

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