What Is Your Government Doing to Protect Small Farmers from Big Food?

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It’s no secret that we ES-ers are all for locally sourced, minimally processed food. You may remember forkitude’s post about how big food conglomerates have an outsize say in what America eats. Clearly, we’re wringing our collective hands about such things. But apparently, not everyone agrees. I had an interesting conversation on this matter last week and received the surprising response that I was anti-business and a “borderline hippie.” I find it interesting how divergent food views have become and how efforts at improving the quality of food are often ridiculed or even worse, politicized.

Surprisingly, it appears our government may actually be listening. The US Department of Justice and the USDA recently convened a series of public workshops exploring corporate concentration and competition in food and agriculture. The five meetings, led by Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack and U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, included discussions about the dairy, poultry and livestock industries and how corporate food is affecting small farmers and consumers.

While we do not know yet if these meetings will yield any real change, it was impressive to see how many small farm and community groups made sure they were heard. The big industry voices were not present, but that may be because they can relay their opinions through other channels (like lobbyists). Here are a few of the topics touched upon:

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Never Said About Restaurant Websites

horrible restaurant website

One of the great unanswered questions of the food world is: why does every restaurant website have to be such a goddamn shitshow? I’ve already complained about the ubiquity of inane, unnecessary music on restaurant websites, not to mention horrible flash intros and just all-around poor usability. Why is it that every single restaurant owner thinks a high-concept, interactive, 17-page site is better than the simple layout of menu/address/phone number/reservation system?

Finally someone has made it their mission to take down restaurant websites. The exceedingly clever Never said about restaurant websites tumblelog is a database of complimentary things that people would never, ever, say about the inexplicably horrible world that is restaurant websites. A few gems:

“Who needs the phone number of a restaurant when you could be enjoying stock photos of food?”
-Zero people in the history of time

“My favorite thing about this restaurant is actually its nearly abandoned Twitter feed with links to irrelevant news articles. I really appreciate that level of effort.”

-Zero people

“I enjoy clicking on separate menu links to view the Appetizers, Salads, Meat Entrees, Fish Entrees, Pastas, and Desserts.”
-Nobody
“It was like the restaurant was reading my goddamned mind when the website cleared up whether or not it was open for brunch on labor day last year.”
-Not a soul
“Why would anyone want to skip this intro? I think I’ll watch it again.”
-Zero people

Agh! The funny thing is that these kinds of websites are not the exception but the rule. Seriously, WHAT IS THE DEAL, PEOPLE?!

Read more and add your own at Never said about restaurant websites.

Burns My Bacon: Cold Lettuce on Warm Sandwiches

fried egg hoagie

Exhibit A: Fried egg and provolone cheese hoagie with tomato, onions and…iceberg lettuce from Atlantic City’s White House Sub Shop.

Hot sandwiches should contain only ingredients that can taste good while hot or when turning limp from the warmth. I think spinach, arugula or a mesclun mix works well in warm sandwiches because they maintain their dignity when wilted. Iceberg lettuce, however, just turns soggy and gross. Iceberg lettuce is used for crunch and crunch alone.

There’s no real flavor living in those leaves, so when you put iceberg lettuce in a warm sandwich that dissolves its crunch, it leaves the lettuce totally useless. Iceberg then only takes up space which could otherwise be filled with warm sandwich-friendly ingredients, such as roasted red peppers, mushrooms and pickles.

Strawberry Ice Cream Funfetti Cake

Burns My Bacon: This is Not a Cupcake, It is a Cake

Jumbo cupcake!
King size cupcake!
Tiny cupcakes won’t do, but 25 times bigger feeds the whole crew!

Cupcakes are tiny cakes, yes? But for some reason, the logic doesn’t feel right the other way around. There’s no such thing as a giant cupcake. There’s just not. It’s a fucking cake.

Burns My Bacon: Locawashing

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I don’t have to tell any of you that local food is hip. Duh. From coast to coast, and even in between, grocery stores, restaurants and bars are going out of their way to broadcast their locavore credentials. We’re certainly fans of the trend here at ES, although I’m not one of those zealots who has sworn never to eat a banana again. But I do like going to a restaurant and knowing they’re not going to serve me a tomato that’s been shipped across the country. However, the veggie gf recently pointed out the flaws in a phrase we see printed on so many menus nowadays:

Local ingredients are used whenever possible.

On first glance, that sounds great, right? But when you think about it, it doesn’t actually mean anything, because everyone’s definition of “whenever possible” is different. Does it mean 80 percent of your ingredients are local? 90? 50? 20? Does it mean you use all local foods except for in those rare instances when there’s something crucial that’s not available in your region? Or does it mean you use local foods when it’s easy but not when it’s difficult?

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Roid Rage

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This country’s Jersey Shore obsession must be stopped!! Anyone paying attention the past few months knows that the Situation is getting out of control, and now comes word that soon even our fish will be JUICED! Yes, recently the FDA approved the genetic engineering of salmon for human consumption.

This announcement seems to be gathering a lot of attention here on the interwebs and among some special interest groups, but it has been mainly a blip in the realm of traditional media.  Here is a quick recap:

A company has figured out a way to have their salmon produce growth hormones year-round, rather than stop in the colder months as naturally happens. Essentially, they have figured out how to “juice” our fish. (It’s funny because when we found out baseball players were doing this, Congress held a hearing, but with our food, the FDA gave it two thumbs up.) The resulting fish grow much bigger in a shorter period of time, are more aggressive and the majority of them are sterile (you can see why the Jersey Shore reference popped into my head right?)

This news is about more than just salmon.

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Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

farm fresh

– Sysco may claim that midwesterners don’t care about organic food, but Liza’s Sis begs to differ:

I live in Oklahoma, and find there are an abundance of local/organic options. Granted, I care enough to look… but it isn’t hard at all!…To be dismissed as “non-coastal” is total bullshit. I live in a place where I can eat plentifully from what is grown within 100 miles of me nearly yearround, and that’s true for a lot of us here in the middle. Frankly, before the Wal-Marts of the world starting taking over our small towns, I’m willing to bet that most people here were a lot better about eating locally and supporting farmers than the masses on the coasts.

Thems fighting words! Thanks, Liza’s Sis. PS – her novel-esque comment is totally worth reading in full.

– Elsewhere, forkitude threw down the gauntlet and asked for the worst food combinations you can possibly come up with. OMGYEAHYOUKNOWME got the ball rolling:

mush of pork scraps and trimmings combined with cornmeal and flour and blackpepper

Yum! Yuck? Yum? I’m so confused. Let’s keep it going, though!

– And how ’bout some crazy pizza combos, eh? Don’t leave an ES-er hanging!

(Photo: Mr. T in DC)

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