DC Dining Guide: Where To Bring Your Tea Partying Parents

With this weekend’s Restoring Honor Rally taking place in DC , we expect many locals will have friends and family members visiting from out of town. Most likely from waaaay out of town. So we here at ES thought we’d do our patriotic duty and make their trip (and your lives) a little bit easier. Here is our guide to where to dine in DC with your not-so-liberal visitors…

Don’t Mess With DC
Finger lickin’ BBQ and dead animals on the wall hanging next to pictures of every Republican president who ever lived — at Capital Q Texan BBQ your parents will feel right at home. Don’t fret, you can join in on the fun and get your hands dirty with those delicious chicken wings, or take an extremely long bathroom break and head next door to party with your liberal brethren at RFD, a beer bar like no other. With over 300 beers you’re sure to find that perfectly brewed import, or perhaps a crisp Northeastern lager.

Something for Everyone
Nellie’s Sports Bar dubs itself a sports bar with a twist. With the twisted minds of the tea partiers they are sure to take a liking to this place, with fried foods, large beers, and TVs blaring all the sportscasts you could ask for. One might even overlook Mom (or you) gawking at the pretty bartenders and their ever so flamboyant tendencies. Surprise surprise, it’s a gay bar!

Made in America
I like to think of Blue Duck Tavern as the quintessential upscale DC restaurant. With its seasonally inspired menu you’ll not find one item that is non-American, so this will certainly be a hit with any xenophobic aunt. The décor of handcrafted oaks and cold stone slates makes this is a perfect setting to take any cold hearted mother, just don’t tell them the Obamas dined here for date night.

Old Dominion
If your parents cringe at the thought of spending their hard earned money in the federally funded District, take them across the sewage water to the Commonwealth of Virginia, to eat at Vermilion. Chef Anthony Chittum’s super chic menu will have your parents soon forgeting that Alexandria was once part of DC, and with the super-chic, $70 price tag, they’ll soon be elitist as the next person.

The Safe Zone
Most likely, your tea partying relatives will be too scared to leave the designated safe zone. But fear not, just point them in the direction of any street corner or park and within a matter of minutes they’ll have found one of DC’s famous food trucks. I recommend the Mexican inspired taco or empanada trucks, or my personal favorite, the ever so entertaining Indian food from the Fojol Bros.  With any luck, if they wait around long enough perhaps they’ll be picked up by DC cops for loitering…sigh — we can only wish.

Where would you bring your out-of-town tea partiers? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

(Photo: Michelle Wennerholm)