Will the Real Sarah Palin Recipe Please Stand Up?
Earlier this week, Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin was forced to deny a vicious family rumor by admitting another, slightly less vicious rumor. But we here at ES could care less how many babies and/or grandbabies the guv did or didn’t have; we’re more concerned with a much more dangerous rumor. So let’s clear the air Mama Palin, what exactly are you putting in those hockey mom lunch boxes?
By now, everyone with half an Internet connection is aware that Sarah Palin hunts moose, spears catfish, and can strangle a polar bear with her own hands. But for some reason (possible Cindy McCain’s cookie fiasco), the McCain-Palin campaign has yet to release a single Sarah Palin recipe! And now the hungry hungry internets are filling up with creative recipes that claim to be from Sarah Palin, but there’s no way to know for sure. So it’s up to you readers: Which purported Sarah Palin recipe is the real deal?
- Sarah’s Reindeer Cupcake recipe has been making the rounds on the web quicker than Barack Obama can drown a newborn baby in a bizarre Muslim rite overseen by his crazy Christian pastor. According to the recipe, SP takes 1 pound of fresh ground caribou meat, mixes it up with flour, salt, sugar & egg to a doughy consistency and bakes at 375 for 45 minutes or 25 minutes if you like ‘em rare. Then they’re topped with crunchy sprinkles: “Cut the antler and hooves into chunks and then put in blender and grind until it looks like ground walnuts…Coat each cupcake with the frosting and then decorate with the crunchy sprinkles…Serves 12.”
- Over at Yahoo Answers, one writer is claiming that Palin is more partial to the Northern delicacy of Fried Polar Bear Liver, seasoned with onions and buffalo chips. This one veers more than a little over the deep end, but hey, it could be the new foie gras.
- On the slightly more believable front, Cakespace is running with “Sarah Palin’s Alaskan Crab Wrap,” which I must declare sounds delicious, but then again, so do most things that combine crab and bacon. But ripe, diced brie? Could this red-blooded conservative really be a lover of such a lefty, Francophile, elitist ingredient? Now I don’t know what to believe.
- Meanwhile, everyone is all up on the reports that Sarah loves the Moose Burgers. Moose meat is illegal to sell so, it’s assumed, she kills and prepares her own moose. Supposedly. But we have yet to see a convincing burger recipe from Gov. Palin. Ireport has one recipe that calls for Walla Walla onions and fat from 3 Alaskan legislators or 1 Washington insider. But seriously, Sarah, if this moose burger thing is real, I wanna see some photos. You know the burger porn drill. Slice in half and get me a shot of it all red and runny with the cheese dripping over the top. Mmm….moose meat.
Remember, Sarah: this can all stop if you just tell the truth and give us one, certifiably real recipe. But for now, we’ll let you readers determine the truth: