Martin Sheen: Poisoning Your Babies with Ass Milk?
Endless Simmer usually likes to take bold political stances on the important issues facing the food world. (As you may recall, we’re staunchly pro-moose burger and anti-portion control.) But sometimes we just don’t know which side to take on the more serious issues. Case-in-point: The raw milk debate.
Raw milk is milk that has not been pasteurized, and it’s been a hot topic in the MSM, with articles that make it sound like raw milk has all the qualities we like: all-natural, tasty, and sticking-it-to-the-man rebelliousness Food bloggers like I Heart Farms have been pushing the raw milk movement, pressuring state governments to allow the sale of raw milk, claiming it has healthy benefits that cleaned-up milk can’t offer. But the FDA and other worrywarts still say you gotta go the Louis Pasteur way if you don’t wanna get sick to your stomach.
Now the raw milk side has enlisted Martin Sheen to campaign for their cause.
Of course, we usually will believe anything Marty tells us, because he’s such a good pretend president. Sheen says he’s been drinking the raw his entire life, and this is a pretty good defense, because when has he ever produced anything less than top quality?
So we gotta side with Sheen on this one, right? He wouldn’t lie to us. Or would he…
We became a little concerned when we realized Sheen is in league with Whole Paycheck, the white people-approved grocery store chain best known for crushing smaller competition, poisoning people with faux-organic products, and making us fork over half-a-month’s rent just to put together a decent cheese plate.
And – hottie food bloggers the Haphazard Gourmet Girls serve up a pretty convincing indictment of Sheen and his fellow raw milk fiends:
Raw Milkies believe it is a magical elixir for a huge variety of health problems…a belief that is completely unsubstantiated by any medical studies. We refer to raw milk as ass in a glass…due to its origination point; the location of cow udders in close proximity to cow ass has caused problems since humans started ingesting milk. Pasteurization changed this; and in so doing profoundly changed the course of human health.
The Haphzard Girls showed up to protest at Sheen’s big event and seemed to make quite a splash:
…worried Raw Milkys approached us for more information; all of them said they’d started to drink raw milk after hearing the hype, but they’d never heard a single mention of potentially deadly pathogens, and wondered both why there was no warning labels on milk bottles, and why raw milk can be sold…
Ugh! Now we don’t know who to believe. You know how much we like to be at the cutting edge of things, but not at the expense of consuming ass milk. But who’s telling the truth? If any of you readers have thoughts on this, please do weigh in. To drink or not to drink? How are we supposed to figure this one out?
Photo: Haphazard Gourmet Girls