whipped cream -

by Emily

Extreme Food Porn Alert: Pancake Orgy

I’m serious. EXTREME FOOD PORN. I was browsing Instagram today (what, you don’t follow like thirty food photography Instas?) and one of my favorites, thekitchenista, posted a picture of her pancakes. Well, it wasn’t a picture, more like a heart-stopping revelation:

Whaaaaat. I don’t even consider myself a “sweet breakfast foods” type of person, I’m more of a savory, but I think this photo could convince me to switch teams. Angela, Miss Kitchenista herself, describes this as “Strawberry shortcake pancakes! Crispy buttermilk pancakes, homemade maple strawberry syrup & fresh maple whipped cream.” I WANT.

Anyway, if you’re in the mood to make yourself perma-hungry, check out her blog, The Kitchenista Diaries, as well. (This is a totally unsolicited plug and we are not affiliated, I just like to spread the fellow food blogger/photog love and her stuff is great!)

by Katt Kasper

The Twinkie Key Lime Pie

So after doing extensive research for an up-coming blog post involving whiskey with a couple of friends who own a medical marijuana dispensary, I was on my way home when, for some unexplained reason, I had a sudden urge to consume multiple packages of Hostess Twinkies. Maybe it was spawned from recent reports announcing their soon demise (or perhaps I just had a sweet tooth), but I was suddenly jonesin’ for some serious sponge cake face time. Luckily for me (and those around me), I was not driving but had a sympathetic chauffeur who gladly pulled into the next 7-Eleven in order to shut me up, as well as to record my drunken, zombie-like stagger into the store on his iPhone.

While at the cake and cookie display I found that indeed the Hostess Twinkies were no longer being stocked. In its place was the ‘Cloud Cake’ made by Little Debbie which looked to be a Twinkie clone. I encountered two young skateboard enthusiasts who were eating out of opened packages of cherry pies and mini donuts. They had blazing red slits for eyes and looked to be in a mild state of euphoria as I reached across them and grabbed a box of those golden crème filled delights. “Dude, those are awesome!” said the taller of the two. “You’re gonna be soooo stoked!”

I thanked him for his support, paid for my treasures and then treated my chauffeur to a YouTube-worthy clip of me face planting after tripping over a parking curb. Thirty minutes later I was alone in my kitchen and just about to sample one of the Cloud Cakes when I noticed that on my counter was a large bag of un-used limes. For some reason a key lime pie also sounded like something that would taste really good at this moment and I realized that I had all the ingredients. I decided that now would be a good time to make that pie since I needed something to keep my hands busy as I was desperately trying to regain sobriety. I un-wrapped my first pack of Twinkies, eh…Cloud Cake, and then went to the freezer and pulled out my store-bought, pre-made deep-dish pie crust. And just as I was about to take my first bite of that bright yellow love log, it slipped out of my hand and fell into the pie tin. Suddenly, there was a bright light and the sound of angels singing! The room began to slowly spin and the music started to intensify! Could this be a sign from above?

Nah, I was pretty wasted. So I thought I’d combine the two and this is what I came up with.

Katt’s Twinkie (Cloud Cake) Key Lime Pie

An Easy Way to Eat in Costume: Teensy Pumpkin Pies

“Tiny,” “miniature,” and “small” are probably words you’d never find in a description of ES anything (or ML anything, for that matter). Under normal circumstances, when it comes to food, I’d never recommend downsizing—growing up with an Armenian mother and grandmother meant the house was full of food all the time. Five people are coming for dinner? Better get enough for 20, you never know. Or if you’re at my parents parties…better get double, because everyone’s going to want to eat another meal after they’re drunk.

When I don’t have a big enough portion size on my plate, I get a “That’s ALL you’re eating?” from both parents, plus an intervention about anorexia (come on). However, in my opinion, there’s one exception to this huge rule. Have you ever been to a party (or more specifically, a networking/media event) where you’re given full-size portions of something, and supposed to eat them with a fork, while holding your (full-size) drink and mingling at the same time? Me too, and it drives me effing crazy, to the point where I’d rather not eat instead of not enjoy my food. Which more often than not results in a very drunk ML.

Luckily, Teri Lyn Fisher and Jenny Park have found a solution to this problem with their new book, Tiny Food Party. To test the functionality, I’ll be holding my own Tiny Food Party later this month (recap to follow, if I’m sober enough to remember any of it). As an added bonus, Teri Lyn and Jenny have given me some tiny Halloween recipes, for a flawless (or just fun), cake-pop free Halloween. How are you supposed to eat pie with a fork in a costume, anyway?

Teensy Pumpkin Pies

Ghost Ride the Whipahol

Finally, for those of you sick of just drinking your cocktails (so cliché), I have discovered yet another way to shove booze into your bodies!

My friend Dayna and I were spending a leisurely Saturday afternoon perusing a giant liquor store (you know, just the normal weekend activities) when we stumbled upon something that simultaneously delighted and horrified us: Whipped Lightning, aka whipahol, aka whipped cream alcohol! To be clear, I’m not talking about whipped cream flavored vodka (although, full disclosure, I have treated myself to that before and it is more delicious than I would like to admit). No, this was honest-to-god whipped cream infused with booze. To be more specific, as the can informs us, infused with “grain neutral spirits with natural and artificial flavors and artificial colors.” Oh good, grain alcohol and artificial colors, the cornerstones of any healthy diet.

Why the delight and horror? Well, obviously alcoholic whipped cream is hilarious. But also, scary, because it could be a slippery slope. The world doesn’t really need to make it more convenient for us to slip some booze into our everyday activities. Regardless, we decided the good outweighed the bad, so we selected our flavor (a simple “spiced vanilla” seemed like the safest bet) and trotted on home to spend some time with our new friend.