Tricks of the Trade -

by Bliz

Putting It All on the Line

We’ll it’s been far too long ES readers. I sure have missed the Endless Simmer gang and the requisite bacon-themed snarkiness!

Please forgive the absence, but in fairness, I’ve been kinda busy. After all these years of tinkering around in my own kitchen, building the cookbook collection and even writing about the exploits on the Interwebs, I decided to put up or shut up. So I took a full-time cooking job working the line in a real restaurant (a good one), with real line cooks (that speak mostly in Spanish and just call me ‘gringo’), with real chefs screaming at me about how awful my shit looks (really awful. I still fuck up a lot). No culinary school, no previous experience, just trial by fire…very much literally.

But I knew most of that going in. What really surprised me while making the shift from my lazy 9-5 to my new, bone-crushing post was how many fellow aspiring chefs out there in Yuppieland admitted to having their own dreams about giving up their 401(k)s, social lives, mental stability, weekends and all major holidays so they can work a lot more and earn a lot less.

So I figured I’d offer a few observations about the last few months of my life and put a little unsolicited advice out there for anyone hoping to make an appearance on Top Chef 16. My own little Kitchen Confidential if you will…except without the heroin…at least for the moment anyway.

by broadandpattison

Move Over Wings, Beer Found a New Friend

I have two words: Pretzel. Necklace.

A few weeks ago, I trekked out to Denver for the Great American Beer Festival. I actually recorded much of our travails, and even interviewed my brother about the organization, the taste, the vibe, and yes, even the drunk snacks being dished out from every vendor like it’s Halloween candy. Unfortunately, I mistakenly interviewed him at the end of the festival – and just in case he ever runs for public office – the video simply cannot surface.

Despite the plethora of convenient snack vendors (jerky, pulled pork in cups, hot dogs, sausage), we found a much more convenient way satisfy our drunken hunger: We made necklaces. Out of pretzels.

5 Steps to a Pretzel Necklace

in Drinks 4 comments

by ML

Motel Room Gourmet: Desperation in a Coffee Pot

As you know well by now, we hardly stick to just the gourmet food items here at Endless Simmer. Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you just don’t have much to work with.

And this my friends, is what a hungry ML feeds her boyfriend while road tripping. After 13 hours of driving, we found ourselves in a seedy motel in a sketch Missouri town with no food. Well, besides a can of Quaker oats and some tuna noodle casserole that had been sitting in the car all day….

Josh wanted to eat the tuna noodle casserole that was…well, lets just say not good anymore. I didn’t want to risk the other driver having food poisoning, so I pulled out a classic motel room trick and made some coffee pot oatmeal.

Yeah yeah, I know Alton Brown did this on his show, but I’ve been doing cool weird shit like this since I was a freshman in college (who hasn’t?) However, instead of actually making the oatmeal IN the coffee pot (we wanted coffee in the morning, and I wasn’t cleaning that damn pot), we poured hot water and oatmeal into tupperware containers and just let it cook right there. We had stolen bananas from the previous night’s hotel, which made a perfect accompaniment to our…gruel. Cooking? Hardly. But it fit the bill.

I know I’m not the only one. What have you prepared and eaten out of desperation?

in Breakfast 3 comments

by LC

Mary Had a Little Lamb. Roast.

It’s officially Fall and getting chilly. I know some families make hamburgers and hot dogs to celebrate the end of summer. We, on the other hand, put a lamb on a spit and roast the shit out of it then invite neighbors and co-workers over to get completely inappropriate, courtesy of my uncle G. In keeping with ES’ other end-of-summer post, I think this might count as food on a stick but more…I don’t know…pornographic?

I’m sure you have a lot of questions: where do you even buy a whole lamb? How long do you have to cook it for? How do you cook it? What parts of it do you eat? What parts are the best? What does it taste like? I The actual chef will reveal the secrets of the lamb after the jump…

in Lists / Personal / Red Meat 7 comments

by BS

Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

-Everybody has their own spend vs. skimp tips. Amy:

Zucchini – Grate in a food processor and freeze in recipe-sized increments. Great way to use up zucchini.

Guess what? You can save the cash on extra virgin olive oil. The brand Aldi’s carries is excellent: very green, fresh, and olivey. As good as super-expensive brands I’ve had. And it’s like $3.99 a bottle.

Nee Nee:

Bacon – splurge. My market carries some applewood smoked stuff that is fabulous. The strips remain substantial after frying to a crisp, unlike cheap bacon which has ’smoke flavoring’ and are only slightly thicker than paper.

Cous cous – always cheaper in the bulk aisle than the Near East box. As a matter of fact, most whole grains are cheaper in bulk.

Don’t forget to add your own tips!

– Speaking of suggestions, Summer offers a sweet brittle idea:

Ginger brittle?

and that got gansie’s gears going:

almond brittle might be fun broken up in a yogurt with peaches

cashew brittle?
potato chip brittle?
corn brittle?

The first reader who can cook us up a successful batch of potato chip brittle will be automatically inducted into the ES Hall of Fame.

– Finally, OMGYeahYouKnowMe brings state fair food back where it belongs — the political realm:

Whatever MPR’s Curtis Gilbert found out about his cholesterol level, this fair food reminds me of why a public health care option is an absolute necessity – the American cultural archetypes encourage such unhealthful food choices. That being said, I’d rather gnaw on any of this fair food to having some other guy’s finger tip to chew on…

(Photo: Captain Cinema)

in Bacon / Politics 3 comments

by gansie

How To Revive the Heat in Your…Kitchen

Like my father, I’m a strong believer in not wasting food. But while he will eat 3-week-old lox, I’ll refuse to even eat a tomato that’s been refrigerated.

Along those lines, DAD GANSIE and I also never throw shit out. I feel so guilty about throwing out food that even if I know I won’t eat the leftovers, I let them sit in my fridge for 2 weeks instead of tossing them on the spot. It’s a habit I’ve been meaning to break (and one that 80 is really hoping dies soon.)

I do think, though, he’d be proud of my latest food-rescuing invention, which also uses up plenty of my cabinet inhabitants.

Okay, so at my local 6-aisle grocery store serrano chilies come in packages of 18 or so for under $2. I try to stick them in everything I eat, but after so many meals with my mouth on fire I let the chilies hide in the back of my fridge until gray hair starts growing over their skin. And then they find a home in the trash.

It was different this time. I remembered a trick my friend Tim told me about how he prolongs the lives of chilies: he’ll buy jarred chilies and when the chilies run out, he’ll buy the non-jarred package and stick them in that same salty solution.

Of course, I wanted to do one better and make my own preserving liquid.

in Featured / Recipe 10 comments

by tvff

Spend vs. Skimp

As the noted economist and Nobel laureate Steely Dan once said, “Times are hard…you’re afraid to pay the fee.” While Mr. Dan was not necessarily talking about our current economic downturn, the sentiment remains true.

When it comes to buying food, though, there are times when it makes sense to cut some corners and there are times when you just have to bite the bullet and shell out for quality. The smart shopper, however, knows the difference. There are some no-brainers out there. Never buy cheap gourmet ingredients like prosciutto. These types of purchases don’t come often, and when they do you’re usually happy to lay out some cash.

But what about the staples that form the backbone of your kitchen? How can you get the best bang for your buck without overspending for something that won’t pay off? Check out the list below for our top three best investments for your shopping dollars and the three items you can nab from the bargain bin.

in Breakfast / Lists 12 comments

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