Attack of the Meme: Top 10 Little Things in the Life of an Eater

A new bottle of nail polish. Fresh sheets. A bold ink pen.

These are just a few of the little things that make me happy. Of course, someone already outdid me and created a whole Tumblr about the Little Things that make the world a better place. Obviously, many of the sentiments revolve around food. Here are the best little moments in the life of an eater.

10. Mashed with peanut butter

9.  Coke, please!

8. …In Bed

7.  Herr’s Ripples. Period.

6. …In Bed

Next: Top 5 Little Things

Honoring National Snack Food Month: Touring Herr’s Potato Chip Factory

I’m right there with you. You open the bag of chips. You peek inside. There’s 13 fucking chips in there. That’s it. Why so little chips? Why such an inflated bag?

I don’t know all of the answers, but I do know something that might infuriate you even more.

Yesterday I toured the Herr’s Snack Factory. If you live outside the Mid-Atlantic, you may not be familiar with the greatest brand of potato chips. You may actually enjoy Lays, you poor soul. (Or you’re on team Utz, another brand soaring from Maine to North Carolina, and then you probably lack a chromosome for identifying superior potato chips.)

Anyway, I learned a few things from the factory tour. On a personal level, my boyfriend and I realized we were the only potato chip lovers that weren’t either parents or 5 year olds.

On potato chip level, I learned:

  1. 4 pounds of potatoes yield 1 pound of potato chips.
  2. 1 inch of a potato yields 17 potato chips.
  3. It takes 6-7 minutes for a whole potato to turn into a chip.
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A Consummated Love Affair: Eggs and Potato Chips

potato chip eggs

Without a doubt potato chips are my favorite snack food. Cheese (extremely sharp cheddar) is next and a combination of a plate of Herr’s Ripples with cheddar, spicy mustard and a pickle is my ultimate combo. With all this love, however, I’ve never incorporated chips into my cooking. (Though I  always wanted to try Herr’s Potato Chip Cookie.)

This was until I saw DC food writer Monica Bhide tweet about chips in an Indian-spiced egg dish. Holy Crap! How have I never thought of combining my two favorite things to eat. Finally! My love for salty crunch and creamy egg can be together at last! And because I now work from home full time I decided to try this out last week for lunch.

Egg Over Green Chili Potato Chips

Because I cooked this on the fly I didn’t have all of Monica’s set ingredients, which you can check out at her site. Here’s how I handled the situation.

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The Dark-Herr, The Better

photo-40

I truly adore Michael Pollan. I pretty much take his words as gospel. His new “for dummies” type book, Food Rules, breaks down his complex narratives of our broken food systems into succinct guidelines. His rules make sense. They are easy to understand and to follow. This one is particularly relevant to our I want it now culture:

#39 Eat all the junk food you want as long as you cook it yourself.

There is nothing wrong with eating sweets, fried foods, pastries, even drinking soda every now and then, but food manufacturers have made eating these formerly expensive and hard-to-make treats so cheap and easy that we’re eating them every day. The french fry did not become America’s most popular vegetable until industry took over the jobs of washing, peeling, cutting, and frying the potatoes — and cleaning up the mess. If you made all the french fries you ate, you would eat them much less often, if only because they’re so much work. The same holds true for fried chicken, chips, cakes, pies, and ice cream. Enjoy these treats as often as you’re willing to prepare them — chances are good it won’t be every day. [HuffPo]

But the idea of making a potato chip better than Herr’s is just a fucking lie. They make the best chips in the world and it wouldn’t be fair to attempt replication at home when they are already out there on shelves across Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

I recently spotted an enviable collection of Herr’s chips at a Philly-themed hoagie shop in DC, Taylor. My eyes widened at their floor to ceiling display, noticing the new (and I find misguided) direction of Herr’s: kettle chips. Kettle chips have too much of a bite for me. Too crunchy, too much time in the oil.

I asked the dude behind the cash register about the many new flavors and he pointed out a recent failure: Herr’s Dark Russet Kettle Chips. He said they tasted straight burnt. I bought them instantly.

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