My Cupcake Runneth Over
File this post under reason number 10,493 why I’m not allowed to have an office job and communicate with real live co-workers everyday.
So I’m working this freelance gig at a very trendy, stylish Manhattan publication. For Halloween, one of the editors brought in a box of cupcakes from some fancy-shmancy 12-dollar-a-cupcake bakery. I have made plenty of fun of the upper class cupcake trend, but I have to admit, these suckers were pretty great. Buttery vanilla cake with creamy pistachio frosting. They weren’t McAdams-loves-Gosling good, but they sure beat the hell out of that jar of stale tootsie rolls.
Once I finished licking the frosting off and devouring the cupcake, I was left sitting here staring at that delicious empty cupcake wrapper on my desk. I know, I know, you’re saying “hold up – delicious wrapper?!? What the hell?”
Ever since I can remember, dating as far back as kindergarten bake sales, my favorite part of the cupcake has been chewing on the wrapper. Seriously, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. There’s just something about the flavors that get absorbed into that waxy paper, it’s like chomping on a sugary, buttery, all-around-amazing wad of gum.
So as I stare at the cupcake wrapper, I look around at my temporary co-workers and wonder if this is an appropriate work-related activity or not. What do you guys think? Too weird for work? Does anyone else do this? Liza or others – any tips on how to accomplish this eating task with some semblance of grace?
Basically, I am writing this post because I decided I didn’t want to look like that much of a freak and I reluctantly threw the wrapper away. Now I’m salivating just thinking about that tasty wrapper and I’m not happy about it. Yes, I realize it is a bit counter-intuitive that I was too embarrassed to do this in front of my temporary co-workers and am instead writing about it on the Internet, but I thought you guys would understand. Thanks for being there in my time of need.
Previously on ES:
Has the cupcake been stolen from the people by the baking aristocracy?
Cupcakes on the Attack
All cupcake commentary in Endless Cupcakes
Believe me, I feel for you Because I LOVE licking the plate after a delicious meal. My previous roommate had no tolerance for that, so every night after dinner I would take my plate and hide behind the fridge and lick away.
So what I would do (because for SOME REASON that I don’t understand it could be considered socially unacceptable to chew on a cupcake wrapper) (pfff not in my world)
is when you are almost done with the cupcake, walk to the bathroom, the office kitchen, outside, ANYWHERE private where you can have the freedom to then chew chew chew away.
i’m effing dying over here. and if you ever saw what BS does to his poor pens, you’d be pissing your pants too. he’s a chew-a-holic.
good advice, Liza…could def solve my problem…of course this has the potential to get even weirder….as in “why is the temp eating cupcake wrappers in the bathroom?”
Here’s what I think you could do. Make all this noise opening up a gum wrapper, and offer those around you gum as well. Then sneak in the cupcake wrapper, none the wiser.
Chew for a couple of minutes, then spit it out in the bathroom if you have to.
Whatever it takes.
that is some sneaky moves, 80p…i like it.
Having never experienced this myself, what with only being introduced to a real cupcake four years ago… This is all so creepy and well, crazy. Having said that a co-worker has brought in cup cakes this morning, so I will give this a go. Mmm, I too am a temp, perhaps I need to sneak down to the basement for this experiment. I’ll be sure to report back.
prepare to be amazed! if you don’t get fired, let us know how it goes…
Ok, contain myself. Picture the scene, one slightly hung over Englishman, one chocolate covered vanilla cupcake wrapped in a Halloween wrapper, one respectable law office! The cupcake itself was delightful but the wrapper, wow. At first I was sceptical, I mean, where could this wrapper have been… I leaned under my desk (to pick up the pen I had dropped) and I started nibbling at the wrapper, so much yummy goodness, a taste sensation. Ridiculous, I was under my desk. I thought I had gone mad, so I put the wrapper on the plate, but it was just sitting there looking at me. I simply put it all in my mouth, and the best part, it had picked up the crumbs from off the plate so it was even better. I’m off to find another cupcake!
I feel like I have finally made a difference in someone’s life.