Padma Lakshmi -

by Bliz

Top Chef Masters Interview: Episode 2

Left to right: Wylie Dufresne, Suzanne Tracht, Graham Elliot Bowles, Elizabeth Falkner

Well Top Chef fans, the moment has finally arrived and the long awaited Masters edition is upon us. It may be lacking in on-air hook-ups, phallic cooking references and involuntary head shavings, but goddammit, the food porn is back! And quite frankly, I’m not ruling out the headlock/head shave just yet.

ES sat down with this week’s masters as they discussed getting a taste of their own medicine.

For anyone who hasn’t seen the show yet, the format has changed: instead of a bunch of aspiring chefs in a house for six long weeks arguing and crying (while the audience takes bets on who’s getting the boot), Masters features a four-person competition of seemingly well adjusted, professional chefs battling it out for their respective charities.

For someone like myself, this is a wonderful shift from the predicable sound cues and “suspenseful” final product. For others, this show losses the edgy addiction of watching who’s going to win, have a mental breakdown or make Padma spit out her food. But come on, if you want over-hyped reality television, I’m pretty sure Bravo has something to meet that need.

Maybe in the weeks to come, we’ll see these top caliber chefs succumb to their baser, reality show instincts, but tonight’s episode seems like a bunch of friends coming back from a camp retreat still high from group hugs and ‘smores. So we decided to provide our own interpretation by reading in between the lines of the interview.. Ali G like liberties were taken.

Our full interview as well as some smack talk commentary after the jump.

in TV 3 comments

by BS

Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

– Maids seconded Brit and Deej’s thoughts on LA restaurant Bazaar:

As a rule modern cooks should refrain from creating membrane pockets. Membranes are usually unpleasant textures when we are confronted by them in the natural world and even more so when they are man-made vehicles for familiar tastes. Those olive juice membrane pockets sound disgusting, and I love olives.

But JoeHoya defends the ‘branes:

I’m a big fan of the olive oil spheres – I don’t remember the membrane being especially noticeable once it bursts, and the texture wasn’t as offputting as Maids assumes it might be at first.

– Summer is not feeling the new Padma Lakshmi:

After watching Top Chef Masters last night, I’m of the opinion that Kelly Choi is an inoffensive substitute for Padma… except she is too damn skinny. They’re both models, and Padma is slender, but Kelly is so thin I have trouble believing that she is even capable of eating. Just where in that torso is there room for a large intestine?

– Finally, reaching back to Bliz’ pork porn, We Are Never Full shares a sentiment Spike and Andrew would be proud of:

is it wrong to say that i have a boner? is it even more wrong to say that i’m a girl? kidding… kidding. but this is almost gross enough to turn a hard-core pig-eater into a vegan. i said ALMOST gross enough. what a post.

Thanks for playing, kids – see ya next week!

in Pig / TV 0 comments

by tvff

Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: But She Has Sassy Bangs!

Hey, Food Network! What the hell are you doing?

Far be it from me to tell you how to do your job, but I’m starting to think you blew it with the first episode of The Next Food Network Star. Did you really start off the season by eliminating the cute, perky blond who identified herself as “Housewife 2.0?” She appeals to both the guys and the girls! I just don’t think you have the right mindset. And by “mindset,” I mean the typical reality show producer technique of keeping contestants around solely because they appeal to the audience and make for plenty of news coverage. In other words, the reason they kept that marginally-talented Susan Boyle on that British show for so long. (ZING!)

In other news, we’re running another contest here at Endless Simmer. Just give us your “last meal on Earth” and you can score some bad-ass Top Chef gear. I know what you’re thinking…”another contest?!?” It’s all part of our master plan to run as many contests as your local top-40 radio station. Be sure to stop back next week to nab some tix to the monster truck rally.

Shall we smörg?

A look at the folks on the upcoming Top Chef Masters: Slashfood thinks Kelly Choi could be “the new Padma” and Eat Me Daily wonders who the hell Jay Rayner is (other than an extra from Pirates of the Caribbean, by the looks of it.)

Gordon Ramsay finds out the hard way that Australian women don’t like to be called “pigs.” Who knew?

Post-jump goodness: a video podcast worth checking out, some gratuitous meat (and a burger, too) and a new way to get your gambling fix.

in Celebs / TV 7 comments

by BS

What’s Your Last Supper?

I know some of you are revved up about The Next Food Network Star, while others are excited for this week’s premier of Top Chef Masters, but personally, I’m just waiting for Padma to come back already!

When it comes to cooking reality shows, you just can’t beat the real deal. But fortunately for addicts like me, TC is now available on DVD. You can pre-order the season five DVD right now. It includes extended interviews and never-before-seen stew room footage, which we assumes means a whole lot of drunk chef-testants. So A&E Home Entertainment, who are releasing the DVD, asked us if we would be so kind as to promote the release while giving ES-ers a chance to win Top Chef: The Cookbook, Top Chef The Computer Game (!), and Top Chef: The Cutlery Set. Wowzers! That’s a lotta Top Chef paraphernalia.

So here’s the deal: Remember the season five episode when chef-testants had to cook famous chefs’ last supper requests? We’re asking you: What would your last supper be? Tell us, in 100 words or less, what you would eat if it was the absolute last thing you could ever put in your mouth. We’ll hook the funniest entrant up with some sweet Top Chef prizes. Email your answers to contests@endlesssimmer.com

in Contests / TV 9 comments

by tvff

Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: A Dingo Ate My Soufflé

Food movies can be a dicey proposition. Sure, we were able to find plenty of great food movie scenes, but the truth of the matter is that there are plenty of bad food-centric movies out there. Does anybody remember Simply Irresistable? Yeah, that’s what I mean.

But I’m pretty sure that I’m going to like Julie & Julia. Why? For starters, it’s about Julia Child, who is scheduled to be canonized by the Pope any day now. Second, it stars Meryl Streep, and she’s doing an accent. I smell Oscar. And finally, I’m certain that I’ll love it because — as the trailer points out — it’s about a blogger! Once J&J takes off like gangbusters, it’s only a matter of time before Endless Simmer: The Movie. What will it be about? Who knows, but I guarantee strong language, needless violence and gratuitous nudity. Lots and lots of nudity.

Which leads me to my first point in the smörg…

– Padma Lakshmi showed up at the White House Correspondents Dinner in DC wearing a see-through dress. Really, Padma? Can’t you just cry out for attention with an overdose like every other celebrity? Photos NSFW, obviously.

– Two of our favorite food competition show runners-up, Kelsey Nixon of Next Food Network Star and Spike Mendelsohn of Top Chef, are starring in a new video series for Food2.com, the new site from the Food Network folks that features all kinds of original content and social media integration.

After the jump…a less-than-rare celebrity fashion sighting, two pretty boys team up to make America skinnier and the world’s greatest chef sends out for a slice.

in Celebs / TV 2 comments

by tvff

Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Stop the British Judge Trend Before It’s Too Late!

How are you going to spend your tax refund? You know…that money that you overpaid in taxes but which you act like comes from hitting the pick-three lotto. It’s amazing how eager we are to blow it on luxury items when we get it on April 15th, but which we’d otherwise put away into investments if we received it every other week. Of course, these days, I suppose it’s less about “luxury items” and more about “mortgage payments and food.”

Times are tough, but you still need to splurge sometimes. This week, don’t feel bad about buying yourself some Fancy Feast for tonight’s dinner! On with the Smörg…

– Gee, Top Chef Masters looks like a pretty classy operation. You know what it needs? A British judge. Kill me now.

– “Hot” off his stint on the short-lived Chopping Block, Marco Pierre White will be cruising the world and showing tourists how to cook. For the traveler who likes to mix in some verbal abuse with his rest and relaxation.

– Mark Bittman rails against…well…the concept of edited cooking shows, I think. At least Bourdain narrows down his scorn to Rachael Ray or Sandra Lee. Focus, man, focus!

After the jump: Masochism…or a reasonable reaction to Gordon Ramsay? And Padma Laskhmi without any clothes (no, really!)

in Celebs / TV 6 comments

by tvff

An Open Letter to Padma

Dear Ms. Lakshmi,

I really hope that things are going well with you. I only ask because, at the risk of being too blunt, I’m a little bit worried about you and your cash flow.

I was under the impression that you pretty much had it all. You’re the host of the most popular food program on television. You’re a successful model. And you’ve even written a cookbook. That’s amazing! I’d guess that you’d probably be just rolling in cash.

Again, not to get too personal, but I’m not sure how much of an impact your recent, high-profile divorce may have had on your finances. How does British divorce law work? Apparently, your Ex is pretty well known, too, although all I really know about him is he doesn’t have many fans in the Middle East, that he had a cameo in that Renee Zellweger movie and he may or may not frequent saunas in Manhattan. So, my guess is that it turns out to be a push financially.

Despite having all this going for you, (and the whole serial dating of billionaires thing) I get the feeling you may be short on money…

in Celebs / Red Meat 7 comments

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