Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: But She Has Sassy Bangs!


Hey, Food Network!  What the hell are you doing?

Far be it from me to tell you how to do your job, but I’m starting to think you blew it with the first episode of The Next Food Network Star.  Did you really start off the season by eliminating the cute, perky blond who identified herself as “Housewife 2.0?”  She appeals to both the guys and the girls!  I just don’t think you have the right mindset.  And by “mindset,” I mean the typical reality show producer technique of keeping contestants around solely because they appeal to the audience and make for plenty of news coverage.  In other words, the reason they kept that marginally-talented Susan Boyle on that British show for so long.  (ZING!)

In other news, we’re running another contest here at Endless Simmer.  Just give us your “last meal on Earth” and you can score some bad-ass Top Chef gear.  I know what you’re thinking…”another contest?!?”  It’s all part of our master plan to run as many contests as your local top-40 radio station. Be sure to stop back next week to nab some tix to the monster truck rally.

Shall we smörg?

A look at the folks on the upcoming Top Chef Masters: Slashfood thinks Kelly Choi could be “the new Padma” and Eat Me Daily wonders who the hell Jay Rayner is (other than an extra from Pirates of the Caribbean, by the looks of it.)

Gordon Ramsay finds out the hard way that Australian women don’t like to be called “pigs.”  Who knew?

Post-jump goodness:  a video podcast worth checking out, some gratuitous meat (and a burger, too) and a new way to get your gambling fix.

– It’s been around for a while, but I recently discovered Mark Bittman “The Minimalist” video podcast. (iTunes link)

– Audrina Patridge, who I think is famous for being on one of those MTV “reality” shows, is going the Padma-route as a spokesmodel for Carl’s Jr. hamburgers.  Yep, one of those commercials where they writhe around in a bathing suit and eat a sandwich.  While I appreciate the folks at YumSugar bringing us this information, the video they include features Audrina in a zipped-up sweatshirt.  That’s what I call a missed opportunity.

– If waiting for the Sunday weekly episode of The Next Food Network Star isn’t enough juice for you, you can indulge your gambling addiction with the folks at Bookmaker, who have issued odds for all the contestants.  Top five favorites are listed below.

1)Jeffrey Saad (-150)

2)Michael Proietti (EVEN)

3)Melissa d’Arabian (+135)

4)Jamika Pessoa (+185)

5)Debbie Lee (+200)

Whad’ya think? Did they miss any dark horses?

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  • Maids June 10, 2009  

    she referred to herself as Housewife 2.0? I think I’m gonna be sick.

  • Summer June 11, 2009  

    After watching Top Chef Masters last night, I’m of the opinion that Kelly Choi is an inoffensive substitute for Padma… except she is too damn skinny. They’re both models, and Padma is slender, but Kelly is so thin I have trouble believing that she is even capable of eating. Just where in that torso is there room for a large intestine?

    For the record, I’m a reasonably slender size 2, so this rant isn’t fueled by jealousy. I just think it’s ridiculous that our culture is so obsessed with thinness that even cooking shows feature women who look anorexic.

    Is ES going to be blogging this show?

  • BS June 11, 2009  

    I haven’t caught TC Masters yet, but I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that Kelly Choi is NO FREAKING PADMA.
    @ Summer — we will have Masters coverage coming up soon — how do you like the show?

  • Summer June 11, 2009  

    I enjoyed it. It’s definitely more of a competition show than a reality show, because the contestants come and go in one episode, before there’s time to build up any really dramatic bitchery. That also means, though, that we viewers don’t have time to build an emotional relationship to any cheftestant beyond our preexisting knowledge of their reputation. Since the judges know whose food they are eating, I’m guessing the most famous chefs automatically have an edge… let’s just say I was not hugely surprised to see Hubert win last night. I’m not saying he didn’t deserve it (marzipan swans!) but it wasn’t a shocker.

    I’ll keep watching it.

  • AK June 15, 2009  

    I think Teddy will end up surprising people on NFNS. It’s unfortunate that they’ve made him look like a cartoon but the guy is seriously talented. His food is fantastic and he’s a natural teacher which makes him perfectly suited for doing a cooking show. Hopefully we’ll get to see a little more as the show goes on that his goofy behavior isn’t “acting”, he’s just a naturally outgoing, ebullient goofball who loves food and loves to teach people to cook.

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