Cooking Tips from an ES Parent

My parents and I always celebrate my birthday in non-traditional ways, which usually ends up in overeating, leftovers for days, and hangovers. Since my birthday is in late August, it’s always the perfect time for crabs. This year, given that the price of lobster has dropped dramatically ($4.99/lb at our local market!) I suggested a seafood extravaganza. The mistake, or maybe point of brilliance, was when I texted Russell:

“My dad backed me into a corner in the kitchen and shoved a live crab in my face and it almost bit me”

“Why wasn’t mom taking photos, can you do it again? (I’ve never seen a live crab/lobster being dunked)”

My father, having both a deep-seated family history in “show business” and an obsession with Russ’s twitter, sprung into action and suddenly we were making videos to show the Brit how to kill crustaceans.

If you’re interested in learning how to make the best shrimp, want to see what happens when two generations of drunk people try to steam lobsters, or are curious about how to properly name your crustaceans, head on over to my YouTube channel to check out Sonny himself.

Lobster + Ice Cream?

Road tripping in Maine recently, my friends and I pulled over at Red’s Eats, the iconic lobster shack long praised as the spot to grab an authentic Maine lobster roll. Unsurprisingly, I suppose, it didn’t live up to the hype. We got a rather bland $17 roll that seemed to be coasting on its widespread fame for putting more than a whole lobster on each roll. Still, if I’m stopping for a Maine lobster roll, I care more about the taste than the amount of food, right? Apologies if that makes me un-American.

Stuffed with lobster but not sated, we instinctively followed the “Lobster Ice Cream!” sign pointing next door to Lear’s Ice Cream. Now this time, I was excepting something gimmicky—“lobster” flavored ice cream actually made from chemicals—but got something legit. There is actual lobster meat all up in this ice cream. A lot of it: three lobsters in each 2-gallon batch, pureed and then mixed into a sea salt base.

And it tastes like lobster, too. I have to admit this was perhaps the first ice cream cone in my three decades of life that I failed to finish; it was just too rich. But it’s definitely worth sharing with a group.

Unsightly, consider this your next assignment.

Rock that Lobster, On E-Stationery, That Is

Don’t get me wrong. I totally hated those people that would entrench weird backgrounds into their Outlook emails and with every subsequent exchange the weird faux notebook or fluttering butterfly would never go away.

Well, for those that secretly like electronic stationery (and that might secretly include me) I’ve got some pretty cutesy food themed samples. While I don’t suggest everyday embedding, I do think that if you’re sending a recipe via email this could be a fun way to jazz it up. Plus, it could up the ante on those chain letters.

The stationery can be customized with monograms, images and up to three lines of text at $4.99 per theme.

A few favorites from MeebleMailRock Lobster (above), Cupcakes (50% of the purchase price to National Foundation for Celiac Awareness), Kitchen, and Strawberry. (And this LBD.)


Founding Farmers’ Devilish Eggs

D.C. restaurant Founding Farmers wasn’t content to just get in on the deviled egg craze, they had to own it. The eco-friendly restaurant serves four distinct kinds of D.E.s and were kind enough to share all of their recipes with ES.


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ES Local: New York’s Four-Figure Dishes

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We all know that eating out in New York can often be a ridiculously expensive proposition. But what about the times when you want to make that really ridiculous? Recession or not, there are still a good few places around town where you can drop $1,000 on just one dish. Worth it? Umm…we’ll probably never know. The ES accounting department wouldn’t shell out expenses for this story. Anyone out there want to sponsor a $4,000 restaurant crawl?

The $1,000 Dish: Bagel and cream cheese
Where: The Westin New York at Times Square, 270 West 43rd St., but only during the fall truffle season.
Why: Alba white truffle cream cheese, goji berry infused Riesling jelly and specks of golden leaves.
$1 alternative: A schmear to go from H&H’s midtown outpost. 629 West 46th St.

The $1,000 Dish: Omelet
Where: Norma’s restaurant at Le Parker Meridien Hotel, 119 West 56th St.
Why: Six eggs whipped up with lobster and 10 ounces of Sevruga caviar (that’s a lot).
$1 alternative: Sausage McMuffin, now a buck at the McDonald’s around the corner.

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