Celebs

by tvff

Rachael Ray’s Risotto-Free Risotto

Ladies and gentlemen, it has finally happened. After airing 24,685 (approximately) dishes that can be made in less than half an hour, Rachael Ray apparently ran out of good ideas, said “screw it,” and invented what has to be the most ridiculous pasta dish ever to grace the airwaves.

I was having such a good weekend from a culinary standpoint. I was playing tour guide around Philly for an visiting friend and it included a delicious chanterelle and bone marrow ravioli at Osteria and some fantastic gelato from Capogiro, so you can imagine my disappointment when flipped on Food Network Sunday morning and saw Ms. Ray assaulting the proud tradition of the Italian people.

Technically called “Wild Mushroom Broken Spaghetti Risotto with Arugula and Hazelnuts,” it’s basically inch-long shards of long pasta cooked by adding stock like you would to true risotto. If you’re thinking this sounds like a bad idea, you’re right. But why is this seemingly innocent dish attracting my ire?

in Celebs / TV 10 comments

by BS

Breaking! Padma Lakshmi to Star in Food-Centric Sitcom

Big news! Variety is reporting that Top Chef host/ES mascot Padma Lakshmi is going to be flexing her funny bone in an upcoming half-hour sitcom currently in development at NBC:

Building on her “Top Chef” credentials, the show will star Lakshmi as a woman working in the culinary world. (One possible title being mulled: “Single Serving.”)

Variety notes that Padma wouldn’t be the first cheflebrity to try turning basic cable fame into sitcom stardom. But she would be the first to succeed…

Despite the popularity of food-centric TV, attempts to translate it into sitcom form have been mixed. Fox’s “Kitchen Confidential,” based on Anthony Bourdain’s book, was critically acclaimed but short-lived. And NBC’s move to turn Emeril Lagasse into a comedy star fell flat.

What do you think, ESers? Does Padma have the comedy chops to break the chef-com curse? And will you tune in to watch Single Serving, Padma and the City, the Padma Chronicles, or whatever they end up calling it? And what time should we start live-blogging?

in Celebs / TV 6 comments

by tvff

Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Welcome to the Rock

Let me start off by making something perfectly clear: I don’t give a rat’s ass who wins on any reality competition show. For the most part, I think the contestants on these shows are the equivalent of tissues — made to be used and discarded as quickly as possible. I don’t find these people in the least bit interesting and if your most impressive “skill” is your ability to get chosen to appear on American Idol, or that sewing show that used to be on Bravo, I have no interest in following your exploits after the season is over, even if you are the big winner.

And although I pretty much feel this way about Top Chef Masters, I’d say I only have about 99% apathy. Why? Because I totally want Hubert Keller to win this thing.

Two reasons:

He’s a PBS show host and I always like seeing those guys get props.
He looks exactly like Sean Connery at about the 14 minute mark in The Rock. After he washes off the prison grime but before getting the full make-over by the barber.

I figure this as good an excuse as any to root for him. Oh…brainstorm! We need a Michael Bay-directed food movie. Given his love of fire and slow-motion, that is going to be one AWESOME crème brûlée scene.

Enough silliness…on to the smörg.

– I pray to you, oh Flying Spaghetti Monster, let there be a reality show involved: Human Train Wrecks Rocco DiSpirito and Jeffrey Chodorow could hook up again?

– How can you tell that a controversial issue is reaching the mainstream? Shaq tweets about it. Er, I mean: When the folks in the industry embrace it. Chipotle will be screening Food, Inc. at locations around the country.

After the jump…the vocal stylings of Mr. Mario Batali, a link to a story that includes the words “Giada” and “testicles,” and confirmation that Food Network and a former Olympian are completely in on the joke.

in Celebs / TV 3 comments

by gansie

Blogger Boggle: FMK

Editors’ Note: You know, it’s hard thinking of snarky commentary every day, so we’ve opened up the labor pool to our fellow food bloggers.

This week we’ve asked our Food Network watching buddies to play a friendly game of Fuck, Marry, Kill. For those of you unfamiliar, you are given three things and must decide which one to fuck, marry and kill.

It’s summer, okay, give us a break. We’ll return to serious food matters soon enough.

Sandra – Fuck. I can picture the tablescape now.

Bobby – Marry. I almost married a guy friend in college so we could do the Peace Corp together. I’m not above it. If I married Bobby, I would cheat on him with all of his ex-wives, in order. Then I would sell the rights to the Made-for-TV Movie

Neelys – Kill. Actually, I don’t even have to. The way they eat, I can just sit back and watch nature do its magic. They butcher meals in a way that I’ve never seen before.

—Nick, Macheesmo

Of course you’re going to fuck the Neelys. It’d be an interesting night of saucy ribs and a sexy spice fairy… and I’m sure Gina would get involved, too.

I’d marry Bobby, since he has a high net worth and he’s already been married 4 times so we’d probably get divorced. And I wouldn’t sign a prenup.

I guess that leaves Aunt Sandy to get killed, but I’m sure she’d come back as a beautiful color-coordinated napkin ring made out of bottle caps stitched together with craft wire.

—Jacob Strauss, Food Network Addict

in Celebs / TV 7 comments

by tvff

Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Strap It On!

New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less

The Onion’s video podcast has been absolutely killing the popular food landscape lately and the feedbag story is no exception. Funny, I don’t remember seeing this on the behind-the-scenes tour at Taco Bell! Someone at The Onion must have made a run for the border lately, because they recently took a shot at Taco Bell’s ingredients (without resorting to the obvious Soylent Green joke, thankfully).

Also in their cross-hairs: the crowd at Denny’s, for whom I still have more respect than the folks at Olive Garden.

– The press release fairy sent word today that the new season of Top Chef will debut on August 26th. You can meet and greet with the new chef’testants thanks to a video introduction from Bravo.

– In addition to a delicious-looking recipe for a manchego-stuffed pork burger, the new edition of Food Network Magazine says that their poll found: “Nearly 60% of chefs said they’d want their own cooking show.” In possibly unrelated news: little did I know a few weeks back when I tossed around chef Jose Garces’ name for food TV consideration that the scuttlebutt on the street would be that he missed his James Beard Award presentation to attend a Food Network-related engagement.

After the jump: we double the amount of coverage we’ve given to this season’s Next Food Network Star (in other words, we have two items) and we look at food celebrity footwear…and I promise it has nothing to do with Crocs.

in Celebs / TV 1 comments

by C. Christy Concrete

Cupcake Rampage: Arnold Palmer Cupcakes

_{“I want you to kill every golfer on this course.”}

Legend has it that one day at the height of his powers in the early 1960s, pro golfer Arnold Palmer was at the Cherry Hills Country Club in Cherry Hills, Colorado for one reason or another. Reportedly, Palmer asked one of the bartenders to mix him a special drink, the ingredients of which must have been so gauche that the Tom Cruise-wannabe behind the bar initially refused to sully his Boston shaker with the likes. At this, Palmer allegedly became so incensed with the mixologist’s cheek that he flew into a mild rage, threatened to get snooty, and, if his request was further denied, promised to get downright snotty.

Blanching at the prospects of facing down a murderously thirsty PGA Master and his posse, the barman wisely caved and quickly built Palmer’s beverage: a tall glass of ice, filled halfway with lemonade, and topped off with iced tea.

The drink has since earned the reputation of being the black-and-tan of the country club, the virgin Queen of 19th hole quaffers, and to this day, such a mixture is still known colloquially as an “Arnold Palmer.” Most barkeeps will know what you want when you order one by name, although some restaurant waitstaff may fix you with a funny look, since it is kind of a fusty old drink; something for teetotalers or closet lushes who want to keep their vice on the down-low. And while it hasn’t stopped marketers from pushing pre-packaged versions onto the masses, at least it comes with a readymade practical joke:

Rachael Ray’s Risotto-Free Risotto

Breaking! Padma Lakshmi to Star in Food-Centric Sitcom

Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Welcome to the Rock

Blogger Boggle: FMK

—Nick, Macheesmo

—Jacob Strauss, Food Network Addict

Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Strap It On!

Cupcake Rampage: Arnold Palmer Cupcakes

ES Says Goodbye to MJ