Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Amtrak is a Culinary Wasteland

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Would it kill Amtrak to sell reasonably good food?

I spent five hours total on the North East Corridor yesterday, traveling from from Trenton, New Jersey to Washington, D.C. for work.  Normally, I have a pretty high tolerance for shitty food — as long as someone else is paying for it.  Unfortunately, my employers have decided that the 150-mile trip doesn’t qualify for meal reimbursement, so I’d have to shell out my own cash if I wanted a dirty water hot dog or whatever else they were hawking.  I settled for reading food blogs and toughing it out until I made it home for dinner.

Look, I understand why the folks who fly steerage on airlines get crap (if they’re lucky).  There’s only so much space on the plane and the equipment used to cook/heat the meals isn’t exactly ideal.  But why can’t Amtrak, which makes tons of stops where good food can be loaded and has the luxury of a roomy cafe car, offer some higher-quality fare for its riders?  Isn’t this the kind of thing that Emeril, Wolfgang or someone like that should be jumping on?

It’s nothing but first class when you ride the smörg…

– Really, Wall Street Journal?!? You don’t say…” Another boost came from Mr. Ramsay’s blossoming media career, with the success of reality television shows such as “Kitchen Nightmares,” “Hell’s Kitchen” and “The F-Word” — so-named for Mr. Ramsay’s frequent use of expletives.”

– The fact that a cheftestant on the upcoming season of Top Chef has left her job has NOTHING to do with her performance on the show.  It has EVERYTHING to do with her snagging a better deal at one of Philly’s higher-profile spots.

After the jump: the culinary scourge of the nation, the world’s least surprising medical update and Spike tells you how to sign off in style.

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Top Chef Masters: Finale Round 2

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I’m sorry to report that I will be calling off my pre-pre engagement to Zooey Deschanel. She’s handling the news very well actually, thanks largely to the fact she has no idea who I am. But if she did, and maybe, just maybe one day she will, I’d like to think she would at least be mildly disappointed.

The thing is, we’ve just been struggling with these imaginary problems for a while now and it’s really taken a toll on our long term future. The final straw was the realization that the only source of nutrients Zooey is allowed to consume is grass. I was crushed when I found out. All these years you think you know someone and then a bomb like this drops on your head and shakes your imaginary relationship to the core.

Find out how the remaining Top Chef Masters handle cooking for a group of people that hate choose not to enjoy everything on this planet worth eating, after the jump.

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Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Do You Take Out Your Meat?

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First up, a quick, semi-selfish cooking question:  Despite having watched a lot of food shows and read a lot of cookbooks, I haven’t found a definitive answer to the question that I encounter during quite a few meals.  Namely:  Should you take your meat out of the refrigerator before cooking to raise the temperature?

I’m not talking about a pork shoulder…I know you need to bring that up a bit or it will never cook evenly.  I’m thinking about cuts like pork chops, beef and even chicken, where you want to get the meat to reach the right internal temperature during cooking just as you achieve outer-browning Nirvana.

And so I turn to you, dear readers.  Is there a hard and fast rule that can be used here?  What will work without sending me to the emergency room in a cold sweat?

The smörg is always the right temperature.

–  We just can’t get enough Fabio!  Last year, he couldn’t find a taker for his proposal, so he self-published a cookbook. Now ALL the ladies (and publishers) love them some Fabio.

– This year’s Great American Dine Out will feature Food Network’s Aaron McCargo as a spokesman.  Cool: You eat out and money goes to Share Our Strength.  As if you needed another excuse to go out and stuff your face.

After the jump…a look at Virtual Susie Fogelson, a lawsuit that can’t possibly be frivolous and a fantastic new accomplishment for the Smörgåsbord.

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Cheflebrity Smörgåsbord: Food Network Gets Animated

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Have you been watcing Next Food Network Star?  I have.

Well, technically, I’ve had it on in the background as I try in vain to beat my mom’s top score in Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook.  How does she get so many damn points?!?!

So I’ve been kinda paying attention to this season.  I know that Debbie is gone, which means we won’t hear the word “Korean” every 14.7 seconds.   Anyway, the fact that I’ve not been 100% focused doesn’t mean that I’m not pulling hard for Jeffrey.  Why?  Because he’s just a severe overbite and some bright yellow skin away from being a Simpsons character, and I think the Food Network needs to diversify into animation.

Seriously, they don’t have a single cartoon character on the network — unless you count Paula Deen.

Zing! Pow! Smörg!

Bourdain does Baltimore and a local complains about the hatchet job, saying he should have sat down with Duff Goldman.  Yeah, that would have gone well.

– Food Network is still going gangbusters during the recession despite dips in restaurant revenue.  This is because staying home and licking your TV screen is significantly cheaper than the prix fixe at The French Laundry.

After the jump…so close yet so far with Giada, “Is that Emeril losing at video poker?” and everyone’s favorite Italian cheftestant woos you with wine.

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Behind the Scenes

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Nothing pleases me more than waking up on a weekend morning and switching on the Food Network. I love watching marathons of Iron Chef America or Food Network Challenge, hours and hours of great entertainment. I’ve always wondered what it actually takes to make a food show (even though we’ve all seen behind the scenes footage of our favourite studio audience sitcoms).

A few weeks ago I gate crashed was invited to the filming of Kelsey & Spike Cook, a show of roughly five minute webisodes from Food2.com. Kelsey & Spike Cook is a fun spin on classic dishes. Kelsey, of The Next Food Network Star, tends to go by the book, while former Top Cheftestant, Spike, in true form, turns it around and breaks from the norm of conventional cooking. I actually witnessed him rolling out pastry with the handle of a broom.

Check out those shenanigans and a few behind the scenes secrets after the jump.

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Who’s That Eating?

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Friend of Endless Simmer Igor sent in this photo of a famous eater (and frequent ES subject), who had to serve the dogs at her own going-away BBQ this weekend — how rude!

Who’s that eating? Cast your guesses in the comments below. The first correct guesser wins a copy of Trish Magwood’s Dish Entertains: Everyday Simple to Special Occasions. (Read gansie’s glowing review here).

So? Who’s that Eating? Better guess quick — I have a feeling this one ain’t gonna last long.

Feed Us Back: Comments of the Week

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– ESers don’t have much confidence in Padma Lakshmi’s sitcom hopes. harleytexas:

What a great show it will be, she’s such a talent and shines on Top Chef, it’s a sure-fire hit. Wow, what a load of shit I just wrote. No talent, not interesting and grating on the nerves…wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

C. Christy Concrete makes a fair point:

Whatever it is, it’s doomed to failure if her cleavage remains deeper than any potential story plots or character developments.

I’d say that’s debatable.

miked is all for cereal with your beer:

I think you could pour a nice chocolate stout over a bowl of cocoa krispies. young’s for instance. also old rasputin is thick enough too. you could also brew a chocolate stout with cocoa krispies… at least the added sugars would be fermentable. itd probably impart some chocolate flavor. god knows what effect all the chemicals and additives would have on it tho.

While Jens points us towards some actual cereal-beer-instructions.

– And Hakuna Fritatta wins both best blog name and comment of the week for their thought’s on Rachael Ray’s risotto:

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