Burns My Bacon: Never-Ending Salad Ingredients

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Before I became food-obsessed I was very happy eating chicken caesar salads all of the time.

ALL OF THE TIME.

I ate them as a starter salad, as an entree, and once in a while – in a wrap. My favorite chicken caesar salad wrap is from the chain, SaladWorks. My sister and I would always eat there whenever I came home from college. I’m trying to think back on our orders: I would sub-in hard boiled eggs for croutons, and I think she kept the croutons in, but maybe added tomato? Sherry – remember?

Unfortunately, there are no SaladWorks in my area (although I just discovered the closest was in the dreaded land of University of Maryland’s College Park). I have long desired a similar concept in DC. I wanted lots of salad and wrap choices. Both stock orders and make-your-own.

In the past couple years, however, DC has caught on to the salad bar trend: Sweetgreen, Chop’t, Mixt Greens… And just like cupcakes, we take that trend and turn it into a never-ending nightmare. Yes, nightmare.

And now what I’ve asked for. Well, I’m regretting it. I just can’t get into the over-stuffed salads. I’m never satisfied when I choose my own, usually with spinach, chickpeas, avocado, goat cheese and beets. Which sounds freaking awesome, but is somehow dry. Or there’s not enough avocado. In fact at Chop’t they so heavily beat the avocado into the salad that instead of supple chunks, the avocado coats all the ingredients without any real avocado texture and flavor.

Maybe I can’t select the proper combination when there are so many choices and when I like so many different ingredients. And the salads and wraps that are created by the chef, well, it’s hard to choose that option when there’s the opportunity to create my own.

Should I just return to romaine, chicken and parm cheese?

(Photo @ Mixt Greens by Endless Simmer)

We Don’t Have Coke

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I am never early for anything in my life. And I’m barely ever on time. Late. Late. Late. So when I arrived at my friend Whitney’s bridal shower at exactly 11 am—showered, hung over, and pleased with my sexy parking spot with 51 minutes already stacked in the meter—I was of course, very proud of myself. Then I tried to open the door and it was locked. Yea, Farmers & Fishers wasn’t open. Panic. The manager came over and unlocked the door.

Manager: “We’re not open yet, we open at 11:30.”

Me: <Took a step back, swinging head from side to side, am I at the right restaurant? What day is it? Am I that hung over? Fuck.> “Um.”

Manager: “Are you here for the bridal shower.”

Me: <Phew!!!> “Yes.”

Manager: “It doesn’t start until 12. But you’re welcome to sit at the bar and wait.”

Me: <Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! The bar! I can’t even look at alcohol. Kill me.> Oh man. I’m never early for anything. Thanks. And where can I get some change for my meter?”

Manager: “The bar.”

After feeding the meter, I play on my iPhone for an hour (at the seat next to the host stand), mostly flipping through pictures of magnificent dresses on the Style.com app. When we get in the private room I’m offered wine. Instead I ask for a Coke.

Server: “We don’t have Coke…”

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My Cozy Cottage

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At first, I had no idea what to do with cottage cheese, so I turned it into a sandwich. But unfortunately, the cottage that I bought was too tangy to eat by the spoonful (which was its intended purpose). So then I did what any respectable human being would do when they have no idea how to make something edible: I fried cottage cheese.

80 was so pleased with my frying—and wanting to eat it by the spoonful, like in his youth—that he bought another tub of it. This cottage cheese was eat-it-out-of-the-container worthy, but I still wanted to figure out new uses.

Like every night, I rummaged through my kitchen. And there were frozen peas. I totally hate peas. They do absolutely nothing for me. Yes, I know, they’re great fresh from the garden. But those aren’t available in the District in February. I’m not even sure why I bought them, in fact, I was fairly pisted when I saw them in there. But I went with it anyway. Peas and cottage cheese, please?

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ES Inbox: Avocado Conundrum

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ES Inbox is an occasional occurrence when a reader sends us a question and we have no fucking idea what the answer is. Please helps us look good by providing guidance in the comments.

Dear Gansie,

I have had the same 3 avocados sitting in the vegetable drawer in my fridge since New Year’s Eve (unforgivable, I know, but I forgot they were there–all the kale and collard greens kept them hidden.)I didn’t want to just throw them out (that would be truly unforgivable), so I decided to take a look at what exactly happens inside of a 6 week old avocado.

I was expecting a funky smelling, completely black pile of mush. Instead, they were absolutely PERFECT! I mashed ’em up and had feta guac for lunch.

But how did this happen? Do I have a magic fridge? Or do avocados have an unusually long shelf life of which I was heretofore unaware?

As the foremost avocado expert in the blogosphere, do you think you could explain this? I’m at a loss.

Quizzically yours,
S.S.

Saluting 10 Ways to Eat Healthy at 7-11

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Finding sustainability is a process. For me, it took years of kitchen experimentation. I started with a bag of frozen mixed vegetables, bathed them in I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Spray and topped it with an economy-size jar of Cajun seasoning. I know, every item I mentioned should be charged with sustainable foul play. But it’s a process. Not only learning what tastes good together (not frozen vegetables soaked in spray butter), but learning about ingredients themselves. Fresh vegetables would be better. Fresh vegetables in real butter would be even better. And in-season vegetables would be better yet.

When I recently stopped in 7-11 to grab a carton of ice cream (sometimes coffee ice cream is mandatory), the multiple rows of fruit stunned me. Fruit in 7-11. Of course the rest of the aisles burst with high fructose corn syrup and artificial flavors, but it’s still a positive first step. Remember, it’s a process.

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How To Make Your Water Sparkle

For Liza’s birthday, her mom (Ruby Girl) bought her Sodastream, a DIY sparkling water maker. Liza is an avid sparkling water drinker and a major environmentalist, so this gift was right-on. The Sodastream machine also turns water into: cola, ginger ale, tonic and lemonade. While the upfront price tag is a bit high – like most things green – the end result will both save on dollars and waste – also like most things green.

Enjoy Liza’s sparkling demo:

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