5 Ridiculous Kitchen Essentials to Be Thankful For

Most of us have learned by now that the original Thanksgiving table did not feature turkey, but more likely venison, eel, and perhaps a dried gooseberry or two. A bird with an injectable marinade was probably not on the menu. Also lacking at that first harvest celebration was a non-stick roasting pan and other kitchen essentials that we have come to believe are necessary to pull off a holiday meal. So let’s be thankful that we are blessed with about 50,000 more kitchen unitaskers than those poor pilgrims. Here are our top picks for culinary inventions that may (or may not) make our Thanksgiving preparations easier, but at least they encourage us to be thankful for our uniquely inventive spirit.

1. Talking Thermometer

The age-old struggle of moist (salmonella anyone?) versus safe (how about 12 pounds of turkey jerky?) can be resolved with a device that will tell you to pull out before irreversible damage is done.

2.  The Homo Sapien

Bone china in the shape of a peeled potato can help you accomplish such mammoth kitchen tasks as crushing garlic or fresh herbs. Or you can use it to pummel that annoying cousin who always makes fart jokes.

3. Flavour Shaker

Leave it to hipster chef Jamie Oliver to create a device to substitute the classic mortar and pestle. Rumor has it that he’ll next be trying to reinvent the wheel.

4. The Swingers Spoonula

We all know these affairs can drag on like there’s no tomorrow, which is why you should consider swingin’ at your next gathering—with a spoonula, of course.

5. Champagne Cork Stool

Pay no mind if you’re still relegated to the children’s table. Bring along this stool and you’ll be sitting in style.

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