Friday Fuck Up: Ice Cream Epic Fail
My husband and I, upon our first foray to a large farmer’s market near our new house, decided on a whim to buy a whole coconut. So exciting! So tropical! The adventure we had opening the coconut and eventually eating it made me think of other odd fruits and veggies that people eat and love – artichokes being my personal favorite. Who ever thought, back in the day, these things were edible? Why put forth such effort to get to the wonderful taste inside? But I digress. After the initial excitement wore off, and we had nibbled on a little bit of coconut meat, it now fell upon me to figure out what to do with the bulk of the coconut meat and the water.
It being August, and living in a house with no central air, my mind automatically went to ice cream. I don’t have a stand-alone ice cream maker, but I do have an ice cream maker attachment that came with my beloved KitchenAid mixer. I’ve attempted ice cream before, to utter disappointment. The problem originated from the fact that I don’t want to make normal ice cream. I want to make soy cream. We’re a lactose-intolerant household around here, and my first attempt at soy ice cream, back around Thanksgiving, used soy milk and tofu, and ended up an icy, non-creamy concoction that I threw out. This time, I thought I’d do a hybrid, taking a regular recipe and putting half dairy, half soy in it instead, along with the great goodness of the coconut meat and water – it was bound to be tasty….Right?
I used all the basic ingredients and basic format for making ice cream. Salt, sugar, cream (I used a mix of whole milk, soy milk, and coconut water), egg yolks, and shredded coconut. Heat up the non-egg ingredients, add slowly to the egg, then cool. Once cool, put it frozen ice cream attachment and have at the mixing. Here’s what it looked like at the end.
I knew at this point that something was wrong – why was it so yellow? Unfortunately, the taste confirmed that this ice cream was all wrong. Although my husband ate it happily, it was way, way too eggy. The texture was better than my first ice cream attempt, and had the consistency of ice cream, but tasted too much of egg, and too little of coconut.
So I call upon you, dear reader, for assistance…what’s the secret to getting the texture of ice cream right without making the flavor too eggy? And does anyone have a great recipe for soy cream? I think my next attempt with my ice cream attachment might be sorbet – that way, I avoid the cream dilemma altogether.