The Regrettable Edible

jello maragarita

You know what the relationship is between inspiration and perspiration? Inspiration allows you to think outside the box, which sometimes leads to magical creations. Perspiration is what happens when life bends you over the Counter of Good Intentions and pile drives your inspiration into deep regret. Case in point; I got a call from a special ‘friend’ who is a single mom with two great kids who are Cub Scouts. My friend has a demanding, full-time job and was hosting her sons’ Cub Scout meeting after work, and she asked me if I could help her out by preparing some lime Jell-o desserts for the troop before she got home. I knew that I would be compensated for this in a way that I can’t describe, so I quickly agreed and went over to her place to make the treats.

While I was looking for some pots I found her liquor stash and unopened bottles of tequila and margarita mix. Suddenly – inspiration!

What if I substituted half the Jell-o water with tequila and margarita mix? If this worked that would be a cool little treat for my friend and myself once the Cub Scout meeting was over and it was time for my compensation. I prepared the Jell-o and added my margarita substitute; then I put the sauce pan into the fridge to chill. Once it set up I’d cut a bunch of small square margarita shots for me and my favorite Den Mother to enjoy later that evening. I still had plenty of time to run out and get some more Jell-o to make for the Scouts before the meeting so I jumped into my ride and took the freeway shortcut to the store.

Uh…did I mention that I live in L.A.? Yeah, well…on the way back I was a quarter-mile from the exit when something happened to the tractor-trailer up ahead and before I knew it the rig was lying on its side across the freeway! The driver got out okay but all four lanes on my side came to a grinding halt. I was gridlocked with no way out when I made a shocking discovery; in my haste to rush out and get the additional Jell-o I had left my cell phone in the kitchen! Up to this point I wasn’t worried that I hadn’t memorized her number because I knew it was in my phone. Perspiration!

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A Question You Don't Want Answered

Now that we’re approaching the ‘holiday season’ (I consider it to start at Halloween), recreational drinking usually begins to rise. Being that I am a person who is passionate about alcohol, I always look forward to this time of year. But it’s because I view alcohol as a passion that I try to govern its consumption by not taking it for granted. I recently came off of a week of alcohol abstention, which is something that I do on a semi-regular basis in order to keep my liver healthy, as well as to make sure that drinking remains a pleasurable indulgence and not a dependence. The years of looking forward to the weekend party ‘buzz’ are behind me and I now consume alcohol simply for its taste, as well as its ability to enhance and compliment the flavors in food. I’ve learned the hard way about lapses in judgment due to not keeping my consumption in check, and I’m not going there again.

So, time for an ES PSA. Here’s a trick question for you: Do you know what your LD50 is?

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