Why America Eats Shit

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If you’re a tv junkie, you may have seen it.

It may have burned your corneas.

TLC has paired up with Ragu “sauce”, endorsing the product through the above pictured Hayes family. The Hayes star in the new series “Table For 12” (you know, the Jon and Kate replacement, now that shit hit the fan). There’s even a commercial with the busy family, with the tagline “more of the good stuff,” conveying the message that you can eat well for less if you buy Ragu sauce.

I admit, I eat jarred sauce from time to time. But not this shit. Personally, I think Ragu tastes like canned tomatoes covered in sugar packets, which is no surprise considering its third ingredient is high fructose corn syrup. It also contains “spices” and “natural flavor”….what??

Sure, I get it. Ten kids, busy mom, blah blah blah. But is Ragu really that affordable compared to homemade sauce, and is it really easier? I think opening just one of those jars is a bitch, more so if I was feeding twelve fucking people. I’d rather just throw some tomatoes and spices in a pot and let it cook. But of course, the media is endorsing the “moms (or dads) are too busy to cook” doctrine.  Again.

Bottom line: if my roommate and I could make a batch of her family’s sauce while hungover (or still drunk) in between classes in our college apartment, so can anybody. Families don’t have to be subject to this torture, not even the big ones.

Who wants to film a public service announcement?

Kids Are People Too

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Someone, somewhere, started the philosophy that children are unable to eat the same food as adults.  The “kid friendly” slogan attached itself to many restaurants and prepared food brands which successfully enticed parents to let their children eat crap. But really, what makes food kid friendly?

The fact that these offerings are (normally) junk food?
The fact that kids are happier when they’re eating fat?
The fact that their choices are all delicious deep fried?

I know some kids truly don’t care for certain foods, the same way I don’t like fruit flavored yogurt or squid sashimi. However, it’s impossible for a child to dislike everything but fried potatoes.

Adults have a variety of choices, yet the kids menu normally consists of only a few options: chicken fingers, macaroni and cheese or hot dogs. Why can’t a lobster or fettuccine alfredo be kid friendly? Does picky really mean they can’t be at least offered a variety?

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Don’t Mess with Success

Editor’s Note: You know we love us a good food rant, so we were pretty excited when ML (who you may know from Food, Redefined) told us about her rabid, Cobb Salad-induced anger. Please welcome ML, who is joining the ES mix to share her culinary concoctions along with some food rants and raves. And holler back if you know where a girl can find a genuine Cobb Salad.

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Sometimes I get on these food kicks. I eat something I really like, and I continue eating it as often as I can until I’ve had enough. This normally only lasts a few days, maybe a week, but can go on for months (the most notable being Spicy Tuna Roll Summer ’06, but this surfaced at the age of four when I refused to eat anything but hot dogs for several weeks).

Recently I was visiting a friend in State College, Pennsylvania and unexpectedly experienced the best salad I’ve ever had. Our choice of restaurant was based solely around drink specials; I wasn’t expecting much from a place with $6 pitches of Long Island iced tea. However, I ordered a Cobb salad and it was heaven. Perfectly cooked chicken, warm crispy bacon, plump tomatoes, buttery ripe avocados, and a perfect greens-to-topping ratio (I prefer a 1:1 or 2:1, depending on the salad). The flavors blended flawlessly and I was addicted. Sadly I haven’t found anything close for comparison since, and there’s a reason…

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