Burns My Bacon: Corn Flakes Crumbs


Since food has been “trendy” for the past few years, I feel like there’s now a product there that does everything. I don’t really subscribe to the gadget theory but I understand that some people see the appeal of a microwave egg poacher or an avocado slicer. But you know what isn’t okay? Products that aren’t actually different products.

The other day I was browsing every aisle of the grocery store, because it had started torrentially downpouring outside while I was inside (sans umbrella), and I came across these. Cornflake crumbs. Mmmm hmm. Just in case you are too lazy to take a bag of corn flakes and a) sit on it b) give it to your kids to smash with a baseball bat, or c) roll a bag of corn flakes with a rolling pin, you can buy this product for $3.79.  I thought maybe I was missing something, so I went to the Kellogg’s website to search for a product description. Here it is: “Corn cereal crumbs.” It is LITERALLY, literally, another product that already exists, just crushed up.

I don’t know what I’m more angry about. The fact that manufacturers are making this product, or that there are people supporting the cause.

What. The. Fuck.

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One comment

  • Stephanie S July 30, 2013  

    When I was a kid, I was in charge of smooshing the cornflakes so mom could make my favorite meal (obvs that was cornflake chicken with a side of asparagus and roasted potatoes with Lipton onion soup mix). I noticed these a few years back and just felt sad that the connection of kids helping in the kitchen before they can safely wield sharp tools was essentially being lost.

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