Burns My Bacon: Fast Food Cheaters

WATCH OUT! Taco Bell has a new chef in town, and she’s changing the way of Taco Bell’s menu by adding a healthy option to help make you more regular after chomping down on a Doritos Taco. Unstinking offices everywhere after the lunch break. Thank goodness a “renowned” chef has come to the rescue of FAST FOOD.
You’ve heard and saw the commercials— Celebrity Chef Lorena Garcia has been wined and dined by Taco Bell and she accepts her new position as face of the franchise. Yes—a human has replaced the famed speaking pup that brought Taco Bell to a new level. Let me say that again – a professionally trained chef, has taken on the role of a strung out Chihuahua.

Why is this cheating? It’s not that I don’t enjoy the occasional guilty pleasure of a quick trip through the drive-through. But more that Lorena Garcia has completely sold out to a corporation that houses their “mexican cuisine” stores in the same buildings as KFCs. Rather than creating her own restaurants and using fresh, local ingredients, she is “making it big” with the fast food industry. Now, she has the distinct honor of having her foods frozen and shipped across the country to drunks everywhere.

I don’t care if you open a dive bar or diner—but make it your own for goodness sake! But at least she made the burrito healthy by…get this…taking out the tortilla. I think there’s another restaurant chain that does that…and I’m willing to bet their ingredients are ten times fresher and real(er?) than Taco Bell. Do you see Bobby Flay “crunchifying” burgers at the BK and Golden Arches? Is Gordon Ramsey making Au Bon Pain a more “refined” establishment? No. And they shouldn’t. I know most celebrity chefs “sell out” on occasion, but I feel like this is beyond that. Packaging your own “unique” and “special” recipes, freezing them, and selling them at your local Taco Bell is cheating. And we really don’t like cheaters here…C’mon Man!

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  • ML October 22, 2012  

    Chefs need to get the fuck out and stop interfering with my atomic orange cheese sauce.

  • John October 23, 2012  

    This seems like a lose-lose. Will anyone take her serious again? It kind of makes her a joke. And then on my end, if I wanted something fancy I wouldn’t be at Taco Bell. I am at Taco Bell because I am too drunk to want food that tastes like something other than oil and salt, or too broke to buy fancified stuff anyway.

  • Cindy (Martini Doll) October 23, 2012  


  • Cindy (Martini Doll) October 23, 2012  

    If someone who makes a salad for Taco Bell is a Chef then SO AM I ! ! Lorena Garcia YOU SUCK TURDS ! BRING BACK THE CHIHUAHUA ! ! BRING BACK THE CHIHUAHUA ! !

  • snebbu October 23, 2012  

    woof. woof.

  • Liz April 2, 2013  

    Two days I ordered the Cantina Chicken Bur and both days I was “made” a chicken bur which was white rice with a tiny bit of chicken with an “herbed” (I use the term loosely) white sauce. Not only was it the wrong bur it has NO flavor. They need to train the people how to read what is ordered! Never more TBell I’m done with you.

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