Bennett, in a post-hangover primal urge, ordered a pepperoni and onion pizza. After flipping through a few cookbooks (Cook with Jamie, The Ginger Pig Meat Cookbook, Cook This Now) earlier that day, I wanted to be in the kitchen. But only for a second.

I washed some spinach and let it drain in a colander. I also threw in some flat-leaf parsley and—my latest experiment—carrot tops. I’ll stop there for a second. While buying said spinach, which was next to the carrots, at Truck Patch’s stand at the farmers market, there was a whole stack of carrot tops. Without carrots.

Apparently someone didn’t want the tops, so somehow they got chopped off and they were just sitting on the table. Looking pretty sad and lonely, actually.

That’s when I remembered this article touting the uses of vegetable parts usually discarded, like cauliflower leaves and apple cores. I asked what could be done with them and the lady said “juicing.” I didn’t have a juicer, but she gave them to me anyway. They tasted exactly like carrots. I know it’s not shocking, but it was kinda weird not to be eating an actual carrot and still tasting a carrot. Almost like smelling strawberries in wine and knowing strawberries never actually touched that drink. (I just watched Sideways, go with it.)

I finally get to the fuck-up after the jump.

Okay. Tangent. So I’m trying to get in and out of the kitchen because it’s Sunday night and we found a How I Met Your Mother marathon. I whisked together creamy Dijon mustard with oil, thyme, salt and pepper and draped it over the still wet spinach. I topped the salad with oven-dried tomatoes, Cherry Glen chevre and almond crumbles, which I keep in the freezer.

With greasy, melty cheese wafting in the air, I sat down with my salad. Hey, I’m getting married (at some point). Anyway. And then the salad sucked. The still wet spinach leaves diluted the entire salad. It was like water was the salad dressing. I ate it all anyway. Very quickly. I needed to be done with it as soon as possible.

Next time, I will dry my greens.

Salad spinner suggestions anyone?