Death to the Hoagie Man


Maybe I’m watching more television these days (well, what else are you supposed to do after college anyway?) but commercials over the last year or two have gotten increasingly annoying. I know nobody can forget the Lenten McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish jingle (GIVE ME BACK THAT FILLET-O-FISH, GIVE ME THAT FISH…sorry), or the YouTube fan rap turned commercial advertising McNuggets (who ISN’T into McNuggets, y’all?). And you can’t tell me you haven’t been to Subway for a Five Doollllaaaa Footlong.

But this time, WaWa has crossed the line…

WaWa only exists in the Northeast US, so many of you are spared from this horrible, horrible advertising that has fallen upon us in Philly and surrounding areas. Trust me, you are lucky, lucky bastards.

I’ll admit it, I was afraid to talk about it until this horrid promotion was over, in fear that the strange scarf-wearing balloon operator would kill me in my sleep. The WaWa Hoagie Man, as he is called, made me want to run out of WaWa screaming every time I saw his cartoonish hair peeking out from behind one of their big hanging HoagieFest signs.

This whole HoagieFest scared me. The songs (yes, multiple songs) drove me absolutely nuts, like one of those high pitched sounds that makes a dog go batshit. I avoided WaWa, and absolutely did not want to buy a hoagie to participate in this sacrilege of a Philadelphia institution.

Dramatic? Maybe. But who hasn’t been driven completely out of their minds by a jingle? And why are the food ones the best worst?

What food jingle drives you insane in the membrane?

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  • Maids August 25, 2009  

    I ABSOLUTELY agree. I think commercials have taken a serious turn for the worse in the last year. Five dollar footlong totally on my shit list. My all time least favorite “food” related commercial this year is the Mountain Dew Ad where two women shopping at the grocery store turn into some kind of computer game monsters. It confuses me and makes me angry.

  • Maids August 25, 2009  

    oh but I have to say I really loved the Fillet o Fish commercial, as several of my closest friends have married brits and I take great joy in correcting them on their pronunciation 😉

  • BS August 25, 2009  

    are they going for a Sgt. Pepper’s theme? Because I’m pretty sure I know who their target audience is…

  • Nomeatforyou August 25, 2009  

    Any jingles for KFC’s new meat-for-bread sandwich?

  • Pingback: Gimme that Filet-O-Fish | Endless Simmer March 29, 2010  
  • BigOldCar July 15, 2010  

    The thing that bothers me most about the Hoagieman commercials is that the song ends with:

    “At the Hoa…gie…Fest!
    At the Wawa!
    The Hoa…Gie…Fest!
    At the Wawa!”

    Why “THE” Wawa? Why not “your,” or some other gap-filler? But the definite article doesn’t belong here, and it bugs the shit out of me!

    I don’t get the Sgt. Pepper theme, but it’s so interesting-looking that I’ve come to accept it.

    I cannot, however, get past that improper article.

  • Beth May 24, 2011  

    FILET O’ FISSSSSSSSSSSSSH! I still miss it.

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