Apologies that I haven’t contributed anything of substance lately but I’ve been locked deep inside the ES Test Kitchens trying to perfect the ultimate food condiment and I think that all of my hard work has FINALLY paid off! If you’ve ever had the great fortune to eat off of one of those big city food trucks that specializes in middle-eastern chicken and rice dishes served on top of fresh Halal bread, then you know what I’m talking about; the magical secret all-purpose white sauce! It’s that gunk that makes everything it’s squirted on taste better. From waterlogged hot dogs to fusion tacos to simple soups and chili, this stuff is so good it would make a corpse edible. (That’s just conjecture on my part and it has nothing to do with my research!)
After countless variations and taste comparisons I think that I’ve finally hit the perfect combination of ingredients that make what I refer to as my ‘Valhalla Sauce’. I call it that because this stuff is so good only the Gods previously knew how to make it. And also because ‘Valhalla Sauce’ sounds a lot better than ‘Angel Jizz’.