Burns My Bacon: The Sudden Decline of Pumpkin Spice

PHOTO: Starbucks

Pumpkin flavored anything is on the top of my list from mid September up until the day after Thanksgiving. Yes, that’s right, I celebrate fall from beginning to end. Apparently, I am in the minority. Approaching a day of meetings, angry co-workers, and tons of stress, I decided to get a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks. I enter Starbucks, proudly present my Starbucks app (I’m a Gold member), and order my latte with a sprinkle of extra fall. What do I get after I actually order and start waiting? “Oh, we don’t have pumpkin spice anymore.” Day. Ruined.

I’m sorry, did I miss the fall foliage, carved pumpkins, horror movie marathons, trick-or-treaters, and high school football season? Nevermind Thanksgiving – that’s a battle that will never be won. But to take pumpkin spice off the shelves before Halloween?! What is the world coming to? Are we all that ready for Christmas? Do you REMEMBER what last winter brought? Tons of snow! I love skiing, but I’d like to enjoy the full extent of the fall season. That includes the special pumpkin taste of fall. Don’t give me the BS about “your market hasn’t demanded the product.” All that is telling me is that the region I live in sucks. They are a bunch of namby pamby rich snobs that are entitled to the point that they believe they should be showered with gifts and attention even longer. STOP IT. In all fairness to Starbucks and my barista – they did comp my hazlenut latte (said in a dull and drab voice) because of my visible distress given the situation. But that could also be because I am a gold card member.But wait…it gets worse. I went to refill our creamer supply at the local supermarket only to find that they replaced the pumpkin spice creamer with PEPPERMINT MOCHA creamers. WTF? What is happening to this great country? How am I supposed to enjoy the Halloween AND Thanksgiving holiday with out a sprinkle of fall in my coffee? I have to be honest – pumpkin spice creamer is something that keeps me going on those long days. HOW DARE THEY take that away from me. Are people really purchasing Christmas themed drinks already? And yes, I am calling it Christmas themed. When you blitz the market this hard and the market responds by making the purchases, you are giving in to the word Christmas and the right to complain about it is stripped away from you.

Bring back Halloween! And fall. #sadface