Friday Fuck Up: Dry Pasta Salad

I thought it was a genius move. Actually, I thought it was the second genius move in just one dish.

At first I panicked when I saw only a 1/4 of a box left of the whole wheat squiggle pasta. How could I complete a proper salad for a birthday party with only a 1/4 box of pasta?! But then I spied some orzo. Who said pasta salad must only carry one type of pasta?

I thought, like I just said, that it was a pretty smart move. I compared cooking times and knew exactly when to drop each pasta into the salty cooking water. Bravo, Gansie, I said to myself. Actually, it might have been out loud.

Anyway, that worked out.

I run a mostly no-mayo zone in the kitchen. It’s not a strict rule, just something we don’t buy. (For fear that Bennett will suddenly make 14 peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches in a row. That’s right. I said peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich.)

With the no mayo in my fridge, I reached for yogurt as the base. Oh, you darn nasty yorgurt. I think you fucked me.

I blended the yogurt with garlic scapes and oil, then stirred in toasted cumin and sesame seeds (OH! And I considered that my third genius move, although I think I added too many in), sliced radish and maybe like one or two other things. Sounds pretty awesome, right?!

Yea, well, it was dry as hell. I thought I could combat that by dressing the salad when I got to the party. But that didn’t help. It dried in just minutes under the strong, strong sun. Maybe I didn’t use enough oil? Enough yogurt? Or was yogurt the wrong move? Mother eff. I don’t know. I just know that it was not genius.

Do I need to bring back mayo into my life?