Miracle Berry Tripping: Live Blog
Good friend of the blog Sara is celebrating her birthday this evening, and she made the very wise decision to do so the miracle fruit way.
Long-time readers will remember I first starting blabbing about Miracle Fruit nearly two years ago: the gist is that these tiny African berries have the effect of numbing your tongue’s sensors so that everything sour tastes sweet. Sour cream becomes vanilla frosting, tequila tastes like candy, sour patch kids are just patch kids.
I wanted to try these things so badly that my older brother even bought me a miracle fruit tree for Christmas! Alas, it turns out Brooklyn winters are not quite the same as tropical African ones, and my miracle plant withered before bearing any fruit. But now we’re giving it another try. Sara has purchased 10 miracle berry tablets for her party, and we’re about to finally find out what all the fuss is about. Read on, if you dare.
PS – No, mom, they’re not drugs. I swear.
8:27 pm: The Feast
Laura: It looks like someone got high and wanted all really healthy food.
Adam: You all are fucking gimmicky.
8:45pm: Sara breaks out the mBerries
Looks kinda small. Hope we didn’t buy too much food.
9:00pm: Cleansing Our Palates with Ginger
9:05: The Tripping Begins
The limes taste like candy limes!
9:12: Lemon + Salt
= crazy delicious.
9:22pm – Best Taste of the Night so Far:
Strawberry & Hot Sauce. No joke.
9:30 – Bitter Chocolate?
Tastes like dirt.
9:36 – Tequila!
Sweet but musty. Not sure if that’s a compliment. However, we were all very disappointed by the Guinness. Numerous Internet sources suggested it would take like a milkshake. It tasted like Guinness.
9:45: Confirmed. Sour patch kids are just patch kids.
It’s all very disorienting to have something like your taste buds go so out of whack. Everyone is yelling and grabbing food and acting like we are on drugs. Dave says there was an episode of CSI where a girl at a miracle berry party drank a glass of draino because she thought it was soda and died. Scary.
9:48 – Anusha Makes a Salad
Greens, blue cheese, walnuts, with a balsamic dressing. Everyone is way past using utensils at this point. The balsamic is amazing — it tasts sweet and strong and somehow just right, which is weird because the salt and vinegar chips don’t taste any different than they normally do.
9:55 – Everyone’s miracle tablet is just about worn off. We were worried that wasn’t going to be long enough, but really, who needs to eat lemons and dill pickles for longer than 45 minutes?
Summation: It’s a really bizarre thing to do for an evening. But we all want to do it again. Maybe with more of an actual meal.