I’m a total dorky food writer. I spend my week eating at restaurants and then my weekend writing about them. Basically leaving no time to visit bars. Hence, my breakfast write-up on a cool, new-ish bar. I’ve yet to party at Red Derby, even though it lives in the hood, boasts a can-only beer selection and caters to the 20-something crowd. Oh well. Instead, I went to eat breakfast there hungover (I guess I do get out sometimes).
I found out about the bfast offerings while eavesdropping on the bus one day. Now, I suck at listening in on others’ convos. I usually can’t be bothered, but if I do, I stare right at the people talking and make facial expressions exclaiming the fact that I’m crashing their chat. 80P (and his mom) on the otherhand, are quite skilled in the art of eavesdropping. I mean, I could be telling 80 the story of the decade, he’s nodding, looking straight at me, and when I drop the money line and his face stays the same, I finally ask: What’s going on over at that table?!?!
Back to the S-line bus, this tat-filled girl started chatting with this guy she knew, but seemed to know only casually. They asked each other awkward questions, questions like, “Oh, I thought you moved to LA.” With a response of “Well, I was there, but I needed to go back to watch the kids this summer, but I’ll move back for school.” Or something like that. Maybe it wasn’t that awkward. He then asked her about her job and mentioned she’s a bartender at Red Derby – I perked up the ears. She mentioned that just that weekend, brunch service was starting. I immediately went home and pitched it to my editor.
What I left out of my review, which is pretty effing amazing, is that there is pour-yourself coffee. It’s brilliant. There’s a station with coffee, milks, sugars and mugs. You can even get it before the server takes your order. There’s two things that are crucial for a weekend breakfast – a never ending supply of water and coffee (which Tonic surely does not supply.) I say fuck Bloody Mary bars – bring on the DIY free coffee refills.
Photo: 80P’s phone.
But actually, I’m lying. This is not the morning burger at Red Derby. It’s actually a burger at Stoney’s. Funny story. So 80 and I went to eat a quick dinner one night and all I wanted was a burger. Okay, actually that’s a lie too. I wanted a caesar salad but 80 convinced me that a caesar has just as much fat as a burger so I might as well just order the burger. Anyway, the asshole server’s like, “We have great burgers here, I highly suggest you get something on your burger.” I’m thinking, um, if you’re burgers are that amazing, why do I need to get something that will mask the taste. But, whatever, I’ll bite and ordered the egg on top and then congratulated the server on the up-sell. Yes, I said that last part out loud. And, yes, he only charged me for the plain burger.