twinkie key lime pie

The Twinkie Key Lime Pie

So after doing extensive research for an up-coming blog post involving whiskey with a couple of friends who own a medical marijuana dispensary, I was on my way home when, for some unexplained reason, I had a sudden urge to consume multiple packages of Hostess Twinkies. Maybe it was spawned from recent reports announcing their soon demise (or perhaps I just had a sweet tooth), but I was suddenly jonesin’ for some serious sponge cake face time. Luckily for me (and those around me), I was not driving but had a sympathetic chauffeur who gladly pulled into the next 7-Eleven in order to shut me up, as well as to record my drunken, zombie-like stagger into the store on his iPhone.

While at the cake and cookie display I found that indeed the Hostess Twinkies were no longer being stocked. In its place was the ‘Cloud Cake’ made by Little Debbie which looked to be a Twinkie clone. I encountered two young skateboard enthusiasts who were eating out of opened packages of cherry pies and mini donuts. They had blazing red slits for eyes and looked to be in a mild state of euphoria as I reached across them and grabbed a box of those golden crème filled delights. “Dude, those are awesome!” said the taller of the two. “You’re gonna be soooo stoked!”

I thanked him for his support, paid for my treasures and then treated my chauffeur to a YouTube-worthy clip of me face planting after tripping over a parking curb. Thirty minutes later I was alone in my kitchen and just about to sample one of the Cloud Cakes when I noticed that on my counter was a large bag of un-used limes. For some reason a key lime pie also sounded like something that would taste really good at this moment and I realized that I had all the ingredients. I decided that now would be a good time to make that pie since I needed something to keep my hands busy as I was desperately trying to regain sobriety. I un-wrapped my first pack of Twinkies, eh…Cloud Cake, and then went to the freezer and pulled out my store-bought, pre-made deep-dish pie crust. And just as I was about to take my first bite of that bright yellow love log, it slipped out of my hand and fell into the pie tin. Suddenly, there was a bright light and the sound of angels singing! The room began to slowly spin and the music started to intensify! Could this be a sign from above?

Nah, I was pretty wasted. So I thought I’d combine the two and this is what I came up with.

Katt’s Twinkie (Cloud Cake) Key Lime Pie

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Who Wants Some Man Meat?


The Situation

When I started dating my boyfriend back in July, he mentioned he and his friends have this New Year’s Eve tradition of getting together and cooking “exotic” meats. I ignored this story at first because I assumed he 1) wouldn’t be around in December and 2) wouldn’t invite me. Somehow, it turns out he is still around and invited me. This can’t be my life?

At about 2pm on New Year’s Eve, the man gchatted me and told me he was in charge of cooking the meats, so we’d have to come up with recipes in a few hours’ time with limited ingredients since ALL STORES WERE CLOSED BY THE TIME THEY DECIDED TO THINK ABOUT RECIPES. Well, not really, but I was in my robe and had just painted my nails and wasn’t planning on leaving the house until the stores were closed. I sent out an SOS on Twitter and madly googled for some reliable sources.

The meats:
Ground ostrich, 1lb
Caribou steaks, 2lbs
Alligator filets, 2lbs

8 Tips for Cooking Game Meat

1) Cook game like a similarly textured meat.
This is a little obvious, isn’t it? Try to cook the meat like another similar meat you already know how to cook. The results might not be perfect the first time, but it will probably be damn good.

2) Drink more.
This cuts back on the nervousness and lets the creative meat juices flow.

3) Taste often.
If you’re drinking before dinner, you should probably eat something. Why not taste the meat you’re cooking? This lets you know if it tastes like shit and whether or not you have to proceed with step #4.

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