It Never Really Has

Saved your fucking life
It never really has
If people over and stores are closed u can buy a couple 29oz

“It never really has,” he calmly answered.

My mouth opened wide.

Seconds before I finished inquiring, no, delighting, gushing in the fact that my friend Eick of So Good lived in the most luxurious apartment building in the city. In the lobby, just around the corner from the elevator, glowed a vending machine.

Potato chips. M&Ms. Coke.

Luckiest. Renter. On. Earth.

So I asked him:

“How much do you love your vending machine?”
“What’s your best, funniest memory of your vending machine?”
(And I’m now screaming) “When did this vending machine save your fucking life?!”

“It never really has.”

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  • Maids July 8, 2010  

    i used to live in a building with vending machine. I loved the late night diet dr. peppers and snackies. loved loved loved. now I live in a house.
    i used to work in a building with a vending machine. I loved the late afternoon diet dr. peppers and twizzlers. loved loved loved. now I work in a different building with no vending machine. I need more vending machines in my life. Especially when it is +95 degrees with 100% humidity outside and I can’t brave the heat long enough to walk 50 feet to the nearest sodapop vendor.

  • erica July 8, 2010  

    i like your interview style, gansie 😉

  • dad gansie July 8, 2010  

    We love it too and she’s cute tooooo

  • Nee Nee July 9, 2010  

    I’d say about 1 or 2 times/year when I’m totally desperate at work, I use it as an excuse to have chedder bacon potato skins…something that I’m too embarrassed to buy a full bag of at the store. Now that I’m writing about it, I’ll be walking my @$$ to the machine in about 15 minutes. Damnit.

  • Alex July 9, 2010  

    Doritos. Nacho cheese.

  • Bliz July 20, 2010  

    gans, you’re writing is getting really fucking good

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