This week’s Top Chef started out with a refreshingly nice Daniel Boulard judging the quickfire, in which the chefs had to put a gourmet spin on the good ol’ burger. Most of the chefs oddly chose to make fishburgers, with Brian even admitting he was just turning his previous winner, the fish sausage into a fish burger. I was dying waiting for Tom Collichio to say “You do not take a fish sausage, pound it into a patty and call it a fish burger,” but no such luck. Boulard picked CJ’s seared scallop and shrimp burger as the winner.

Bravo wisely decides to no longer give the quickfire winner immunity, and Padma drops the really big news – it’s time for restaurant wars! I guess we’re supposed to be excited.

So instead of immunity, CJ gets to pick his own team, obviously opting for Tre, Brian and Casey, realizing the odds are that teammates Sara and Howie will out-bitch each other to death, a la most of the previous episodes. But wait a minute, these two must have hate-banged during the past week because they are being all civil and friendly. Of course it doesn’t matter, because they both make inedible dishes.

Actually the judges decided to hate pretty much everything except for Hung’s Tuna Tartar with Nicoise Olives, which did look amazing. I also thought Tre’s Gorgonzola Crusted Beef Tenerloin looked pretty damn good.

After the restaurant guests leave, Padma reveals a crazy twist – she tells the cheftestants that one of the eaters was not a real person, but…..a blogger! OMG !LOL! BRB! The cheftestants moan and groan like they have been stabbed in the back. Um, what’s wrong, is it an evil blogger? Nope, it’s Andrea Strong, who writes a cool NYC restaurant newsletter. Regardless, it’s another painful MSM attempt to be hip with the blogs.

Honestly folks, not much to report here. The judges reveal that Brian smells bad, Dale can’t smell at all, and they call it a draw. Restaurant wars, part two airs next week. How long is this season gonna drag out, Bravo? Two years?

Off to the beach!!!